• Chinese Medicine meets

    Magical Thinking

  • Ancient Wisdom for

    Modern Wellness

  • Ancient Wisdom for

    Modern Women

What to do when friends no longer support your path

 

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Oh wow. I agonised for at least an hour over that heading. I really wanted to call it “not everyone in the transit lounge is coming on the plane with you” but google wasn’t understanding the metaphor! It hurts to even read that title. But it doesn’t have to.

Here we are heading for the half way mark of the year, and I’m wondering how your going with all those New Year goals?

Did you pick a word for the year? It might have been shine, or something around being visible, speaking up, owning your truth, being the best version of yourself and all of this sounds pretty good doesn’t it?

How has that been unfolding for you?

I’m wondering because at some point we will get to a place where we can get stuck, we stop, we lose confidence and baulk at the job in front of us. We decide that perhaps that ‘thing’ we were doing wasn’t for us or that we have changed our minds. We start looking around us for signs that we’re on the right path or for confirmation from potentially the wrong people that we’re ok.
Often we receive difficult to hear feedback on what we’re doing because you’re making changes in your world or how you’re operating or showing up and that effects other people. Not just you.

With my coaching clients the first module I send them regardless of what program they have opted in for always includes the ‘expect kick back’ warning.
Not everyone is going to be thrilled about the brave new you you are creating. Not everyone is going to be thrilled with the wonderful goal posts you’re shifting (or erecting), even if you involve them in the process. Even when they are intelligent ‘conscious’ aware people, they are still human and still prone to taking things personally, making stories up that aren’t true and the killer trifector doing both of these things AND finding supporting evidence and then not telling you about it until they reach breaking point.

What does this look like? …… let me give you a hint…

Kaboom!

In your lounge room, in your office more often than not in your inbox.
Yup. It sucks. It really hurts. You might also fall prey to being human at this point and lash back.
If this is happening or has happened for you. I’d love to you stop and take stock, because this painful little saga, can actually be a sign of good things unravelling and of healthy necessary change.

You will though need to pause, take some deep breaths, ask for some space, take stock of what is real FOR YOU and if you don’t have anyone really solid in your corner please find a Therapist/ Coach/ Counsellor to be that person. You are going to need them. You do not need more drama at this point. You don’t need well meaning people taking sides or saying you need to take the blame.

There may well be many levels of situation going on here. But essentially, you shifted the goal posts and these very human people went looking for you at the old goal post, the fact that you weren’t there has upset them. (if you get my metaphor)

This isn’t for you to fix.

Now all this might sound just a little dramatic, sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t, but remember back up there at the top where you asked for life to change, to shift things up a little? You wanted to be seen or heard or to speak your truth, you wanted to step outside the way you have previously operated and grow. Did you think it was going to be a happy little stroll along a neatly paved path?

I am the first one to debunk the whole ‘nothing good come easily’ myth but we don’t exist in a vacuum. When we start to change the relationship that we are having with ourselves, it changes everything slowly but surely (usually for the better) in our external world.
This includes other people, not everyone is here for the long haul and thats ok. If they leave, that’s also ok.  It’s not about you.

Let me repeat that because we can be very egoic creatures!

It’s. Not. About. You.
In some cases they are going to ebb away quite naturally as relationships are prone to do, a reason a season and all that. In other cases there will be kicking and screaming and blaming and a whole lot of ‘you changed’ and whole lot of misguided ‘help’ in the form of “because I love you and I’m hurting I think I have the right to tell you how I think you’re doing it all wrong and this here is how you should live your life”. And for that last one you are going to need the help from that aforementioned therapist. Because you’re going to have to NOT react when triggered and to grieve the hell out of that very tricky situation.

And it’s this my friends that is usually well and truly in the too hard basket for a lot of people and we can find ourselves opting for stepping back into that old persona and choosing to see this backlash as a reason that the ‘thing’ we were looking for or going after isn’t ‘it’ after all or that it’s all really too hard. And you know what . That’s ok too.

To degree.

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But if you’re at that turning point before you slide back into an old era (that doesn’t really serve you anymore) what can you do to support yourself?

Here’s my go to’s ;

Professional help.

And by this I mean actual real professional grown up help. Not a spiritual guru wanna be that will advise you to bypass the hell out of all of the above. A business coach/ life coach/ holistic counsellor/ psychologist. Some one grounded in a very practical down to Earth profession that can hold solid space for you when you’re vulnerable and in pain. In many places as is the case here in Australia you can access almost free assistance if referred by your GP, most private health funds offer healthy rebates and this most certainly comes under the heading of professional development expenses if you’re in a helping profession.

Faith.

This is where you can get spiritual. Seek solace in your beliefs of being supported and connected to a higher power. Whether they be in a church, or a yoga practice. Whether its a meditation practice you do each day, mantras you chant, prayers you repeat, or a community service you perform. Wear your malas, light your candles, water your herb garden, heavens, chat to your deceased great Aunty Myrtle if it helps to bring your heart solace. Also, please be real with yourself. Now isn’t the time to get up on your high horse!

Journal.

Writing down how your feeling in a private place preferably with a pen and paper is such an important discipline. I use the word discipline here because when we are feeling high emotion we will want to take physical action to dissipate what is often a really intense situation. Firstly though we need to empty out our thoughts and feelings in a really safe space and get clarity for ourselves. Writing everything down gives us just enough space to do this.

Physical nourishment.

To stay clear around our emotions and to create healthy new elements in our lives it helps if we have an embodied place to hang out in. And our bodies are really the only place we can do that! This doesn’t mean to suddenly decide to run a marathon (although you might!) , but physical movement of a sort that you find enjoyable is essential. It helps support healthy biochemistry essential for balanced and appropriate moods, to alleviate stress, and improve sleep.

 

This is just the start of course. Often these challenges occur in much more established relationships within families and spouses. My own divorce is a prime example of this.

I hope this has inspired you to seek support in your life from any of the sources I have mentioned.

If you’d like to know more about my mentoring and support for health practitioners check this out. And I have a new Life Coaching course called My divine Feminine Compass opening soon designed to offer support to women navigating transition and change. If you’d like to know more contact me here.

With love

Keri

x

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The Practical Magic of Feng Shui

 

Art by Brandy Woods

Art by Brandy Woods

 

The last few weeks have seen me re-arranging the furniture like crazy. This is a pretty normal habit for me. Seasonally I like to keep the energy in my home fresh and keep clutter from building up.

But after 3 moves in 13 months last year I was taking no chances so last week I had Feng Shui Consultant, Building Biologist and Nutritionist Kate Woods come to my house and check things out.  Kate is one of the very few building biologists in the country. As corporations come to realise the link between productivity, staff health and that our environments directly impact that, this field is set to explode. And of course as an acupuncturist I wanted to make sure the energy in my house was being supported. I wanted to feel like the energy of my home was working WITH me. In acupuncture treatments we take into account the external causes of illness and these can include the obvious things like external trauma, too much heat, wind, and dampness but also other ‘pathogenic factors’. I looked at this like an acupuncture treatment for my home and couldn’t wait for Kate to work her magic. It’s an incredibly precise science, and I wondered how I would possibly measure the results.

 

Reasons why you might want to look at FengShui

Your moving or occupants of the house are changing or relocating.

You’re renovating

There has been illness or discord in your home and you’re looking for a fresh start and in some cases some support to discover alternative causes after other obvious factors have been ruled out.


What you need 

You need the floor plan of your home, the year it was built (as close as you can if it’s not yours) I was able to google stalk the original purchasing dates of my apartment. My real estate were also very helpful.

What you will receive

Each consultation is unique  but all involve a comprehensive report (physical and digital) on your home, layout, remedies, and suggestions to detoxify your home from a building biology perspective. Kate is incredibly thorough and will spend hours going through your home before writing up her report.

Keri-Krieger-Feng-Shui-

So whilst my home has felt very lovely and I’ve taken care to create ambient light filled spaces there were some rooms that were less ideal for the prosperity of my work.

Even before I had Kate in, there was a sense that I needed to shake things up a bit. As a single woman living on her own running her own biz there’s a lot of alone time and often a sense of longing for support. I have wonderful people in my life, a family that cheer my mad life choices at all times but there are days when two hands and two legs can only do so much … as anyone who has tried to put a bed frame together on their own will attest. My intention with this consultation was to feel like I had the support of my home, now this might sound a bit bonkers but there are areas in my life that I would like to work on and put more energy into, but I don’t want that to be at the expense of my business and income and ability to support myself.

One of the most meaningful things Kate said to me is that I had chosen a house (or the house had chosen me) that would support my business growth and financial wellbeing (this was due to the wonderful placement of my entrance way)  But that I would have to work on other areas such as my health and relationships, but that I could do this without compromising my business. (obviously these are all supportive structures, I still have to show up, Feng Shui isn’t a magic unicorn of lotto wins!)

A fascinating element of the layout of my home showed that there was this funny little piece missing out of the building. Now missing structures need a ‘remedy’ which can be pretty straight forward. What was so fascinating was that the missing piece in that quadrant indicated a sense of lacking support in ones life. This home was going to give me an opportunity to heal that!

How Cool!

Feng Shui remedies much like acupuncture treatments involve balancing the elements in your home, by nourishing the elements you need more of or adding controlling features to keep negative elements from overpowering the space.

The one essential move that I needed to do was to move my office from where I had it down stairs to the most auspicious placement in the upstairs second bedroom. Now by all means call it co-incidence but within the next 4 days  I had taken three phone calls from clients I hadn’t seen in ages to book in, two new client referrals and new and old friends got back in touch and there has been a marked increase in my social calendar! I’m happy to also share after years of man drought there has been some truly nourishing and fun developments on that front. I don’t believe in co-incidence and even if you’re not prepared to believe that moving furniture around alone can create change in your life, I think its pretty hard to doubt the efficacy of a reinforced intention backed with practical action to remind you on a daily basis of where you want to be growing in your life.

 

Focused intention and practical attention are the keys to creating change in any are of your life.

 

For more on the science of The Flying Stars School of Feng Shui see Kates post here.

If you are in the South East Qld area of Australia or even Sydney please contact Kate and receive a discount on mentioning this post. She’s currently working out ways to offer Skype consultations to those far and wide.

 

 

*FYI

Kate was generous enough to gift me this consultation as I have pretty much been pestering her since we met because I just loved the idea of ‘giving my house an acupuncture treatment’ but I won’t be receiving commissions on referrals or anything like that cause I love having magic to share with my tribe and I want you to get that Qi flowing correctly!! What are you waiting for get in touch!

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The single divorced middle aged woman’s guide to not giving a f*ck about Valentine’s day

(and so much other crap that compromises keeping our hearts strong and open)

Keri Krieger_valentines-day

 

Now that I’ve got your attention with that incredibly dramatic title, let me just say

I love love. All of it.

 

I mean, I love romance and flirtation and devotion.

I love that feeling when you first meet someone that you like, that feeling that you get when you haven’t even met someone but you’re just finally OPEN to it. Like yeah… I can go there.

I almost, ALMOST even like that feeling when you have just broken up with someone you truly deeply loved. Like you know even though the air around you hurts you did something real and magical there.

I love lusty, and sensual. I love that feeling when you are truly inhabiting yourself and people stop and look when you walk by. Even though you haven’t brushed your hair and your wearing clothes the dog slept on (or maybe they can tell.. who knows)

But you get my point.

I love feeling connected; with myself, with the world around me, with potentially a pretty hot human.

And then there is Valentines Day.

And it’s just not fucking helpful.

I don’t know about you but I have been bombarded from all sorts of apparently well meaning sources for the last few weeks about the upcoming VDAY. Like we’re all going to be invaded or something.

All I feel from these exchanges is isolation, exclusion and competition. And to be honest it felt like that last year even when I had a lovely man showering me with attention, and in my marriage, while it was full of romance and thoughtful gift giving we never ever celebrated Valentines Day.

In fact my lovely date last year went out of his way to tell me that the flowers (that weren’t roses) and champagne and homemade food had NOTHING to do with Valentines’ Day. Now if that doesn’t tell you something about the pressure this cultural hoop jumping puts us under I don’t know what does.

So, far be it from me to tell you when, where and how you might want to express your love.

I thought I would instead share my tips for those of us single, recovering, peeping our heads out from under the divorce doona or other wise uninterested in sitting in a room with 12 other couples eating a set menu (ok so that was bitchy).

These are my tips on what to do to really be in touch with your heart or the heart of some other potentially hot human.

 

Nourish Yourself.

The notion of self love is getting alot of airtime at the moment and I believe even the most flimsy versions of it are a great place to start and are certainly better than nothing. For me Self Love is about  truly being with self, whatever that looks like. Which sounds really simple but can be really damn hard when ‘self’ is about as much fun to ‘be with’ as stubbing your toe repeatedly. So it might start as an external practice of getting a pedicure but the internal process here is you prioritising your time and your worth.

Taking time out to learn to self soothe is an investment in the future of not only your relationships but your own wellbeing. Most of us didn’t learn all the healthy relating skills we need to flourish during out childhoods. Quite literally taking yourself off to ‘school’ to learn these things through counseling or other modalities is truly a gift of self love that continues to give.

Be demonstrative – but keep your own counsel

Let your actions speak; express your affection, be excited and moved and emotional. Ask clearly for what it is you want and how you would like it (ask nicely manners are free)

But for the love of mystery don’t blurt. every. single. thought. in a stream of consciousness large enough to knock down a Bison. Please. This isn’t about hiding the real you. It is about anchoring into yourself, being at home with who you are (as best you can in these vulnerable times) and trusting yourself to show up clearly without explanation. Don’t unwrap the package of you for them. Let them work out where the sticky tape is for heavens sake this isn’t a three year olds game of pass the parcel!

Discernment

Yep that’s real sexy right there. Seriously, so hot. But honestly, whether you jumped straight into bed or have known each other for years there will be a moment where you get to pause and discern if this is truly right for you. Not them, not your future unborn children, not the unhelpful crowd of ‘well meaning’ onlookers.

YOU.

Please Trust yourself.

The minute you start outsourcing your power, for this is what your doing when you don’t trust your own gut feeling, you are powerless. This is a recipe for disaster in every possible sense.

Does. This. Feel. Right. In your body and in your heart.

I walked away from a big love because I knew I had fallen in love with his potential. I wrote myself this manifesto to keep me on track. This is an exercise in trusting yourself. Don’t underestimate its power. It might look like you’re flaky or unsure or running hot and cold but your not, your checking in to see if your boundaries are current and real and doing their job.

 

Create your own ritual.

If you’ve spent even 5 minutes with me you will know how much I love a ritual and every relationship including the one with yourself is better with them and with out even thinking you will have created them I’m sure.

  • That fave place you have brunch
  • The way you bring her tea first thing in the morning
  • Walking the dog every Sunday.

I read a blog the other day, and for the life of me I can’t find where it was from, on a couple that take a candle lit bath together almost every day and go over the week ahead. (Whatever you do don’t google ‘couples who bathe together every day’)

I LOVED this idea. And clearly this couple were childless with an endless water supply BUT hopefully you can see how fun it might be to create your own regardless of your relationship status

Or if you like you can even celebrate Valentine’s Day…. Yawn xx

 

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New Year Elemental Journey

 

Keri Krieger Chinese new year Monkey

 

 

I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure even at this early stage in the year if I can recall how exactly I got here.

And it’s only February!

The first month of the year named after the God of doorways and new beginnings, Janus, passes in a flurry of New Year’s intentions and recovering from either the year that was, a very indulgent festive holiday or a little bit of both.

Well I’m offering you a ‘do over’ on the Eve of the first New Moon of the Year which symbolises the Chinese New Year.

This also happens to be either Imbolc if your in the northern hemisphere or Lammas if your with us down under, both pivotal festivals and turning points in the year. Its a seasonal pause where we reflect on what we’re reaping in the first harvest of  the summer or looking at what we are intending to sow with the  coming of the light after the cold of the winter.

This is the year of the Fire Monkey and before the passionate and fast paced year is upon us I want to offer you an opportunity if one has escaped you so far to reflect on the year that was, and set yourself up for a magical and intentionally crafted new year.

To take yourself on an Elemental Journey moving through Fire, Earth, Metal, Water and Wood follow the link to receive my New Year Elemental Journey PDF designed to guide you through the Five Elements and into the year ahead.

This New Year is the year of the Fire Monkey symbolised by Fire over Metal.

Now, fire can melt metal, but it can also forge an even stronger Metal.

*For this year ahead think hot fiery and fast. This is great for making decisions on the run, and being flexible and fluid. What this means is though that we need to keep our nourishment at peak levels to remain able to keep up and to not frizzle in the heat!

*Be careful of overspending financially and energetically.

*You will bounce back quickly though in this energetic climate as long as you pay attention!

* Its a year for passion and creativity optimism and playfulness

*Keep your calm centre to avoid falling into anxiety and frustration in this fast paced year and it has the potential to be super fun!

The New Moon is always a wonderful time to set an intention. Simplify it into a word or a feeling and see it grow with the waxing moon throughout the month.

I’d love to hear any questions you have. Comment below or zip me an email.

With blessings for a Magical New Year ahead.

K

x

 

PS. And that link again is Here..

My magical evening with Violet Gray

Violet Gray Intention Circle Candles

 

What feels like a small lifetime ago, but was really just on the far side of the festive/new year season I found myself in a gorgeous little shed. It was full of candles and jewels and most importantly some very beautiful women hosted by two very wonderful sisters for a Violet Gray Intention Circle. 

It’s almost impossible not to gush.

There was a lightness and warmth as we all arrived and decked ourselves out in Darling Tats  and bindi’s and glitter. In a no-nonsense mumma of a toddler way Franny instructed us to ‘just use the glue stick’. I can’t tell you how refreshing this was!

The evening was cool after a really hot spell, we chose our spot in the circle our jewels intuitively laid out before us.

 

Violet Gray Intention Circle

 

Light rain kissed our heads as we waked to the D Tree to earth ourselves and set our intention.

It struck me as so incredibly generous for these two sisters to share such an intimate space steeped in a lifetime of childhood memories yet here we were sharing in a moment that was at once sacred and familiar.

 

Violet Gray Intention Setting/Alex Olsen

 

Through music, personal reflection and a whole lot of sisterly pantomime that had me laughing on so many occasions we were invited to get in touch with our intention, what it was that we might want to weave into the bracelet we were going to make.

I felt very still and very sure as I began to choose my crystals, it was different for everyone as we shared after.

For me it felt oh so lovely to just trust, to choose and not to think too much about it. There was no right or wrong way to do this, no right or wrong crystal to pick. No spiritual crystal whisperer in my head saying I needed this or that.

I pulled the crystals that called to me out of the bowl.

I laid the crystals and silver out in a pattern in front of me that appealed.

I slid them onto the silver thread in front of me.

 

Violet Gray Intentional Jewels Bracelet

It felt like it does when words pour out of me in a rush, when I stare peacefully at the ocean, when my mind and its chatter just happily bubbles below the surface.

It. Felt. Fun.

The rest of the evening was spent with Alex and Franny finishing off our bracelets, talking us through the meaning of the crystals we had intuitively chosen. We shared with the other women our reasons for coming that night.

There were mummas to be, and sisters blood and soul, there were mother’s and daughters. Women seeking nourishment. Women dealing with grief and exhaustion and love and hunger. Women seeking a space that was safe and loving and full of laughter that they could simply.

BE.

With no agenda.

Just be.

So we wove crystals onto thread. And made our personal intentions wearable, and remindable.

For when we forget that we’re magic.

‘Cause that happens sometimes.

 


 

And so I look down at my bracelet  and I am reminded to shine to be a light and be seen. There is a ferocity in that, that makes me smile.

My intention card is currently on the fridge. Its worn and crinkled as it served as a book mark over the holidays. I wrote the crystals down, but I have since forgotten what they are meant to mean and I’m ok with that. They will ‘do’ whatever they might be doing without my intellectualising of it. I prefer it that way.

As it turned out the night we met for this intention circle was the new moon. A new moon in Sagittarius which if your astrologically inclined is a very expansive and freedom seeking night to plant a seed for the month ahead. I love that the girls had absolutely no idea, they simply chose the night that felt best, trusted in their intuition and the practical requirements the timing needed.

It’s this kind of authenticity that I respect so much from Alex and Fran. I know I’m not alone in this.

 


 

The evening was beautiful and organic in how it flowed, I imagine no two events would be quite the same.

I met some gorgeous women of all ages and from all walks of life.

I made a new friend and was reminded of the way kindred spirits recognise each other.

Some of these women now light up my socials with their humour, intelligence and grace.

Some I might never see again, but how wonderful is that feeling that you can meet a complete stranger and share such a beautiful evening together.

Oh and did I mention there was cake.

And wine and ginger beer?

And cake yes? I mentioned the cake didn’t I?

And not a scrap of spiritual hoo ha, just two beautiful sisters using their talents with gems to weave a space of healing and community for a bunch of very lucky women.

So grab your mum or your sister, your bestie or like me, rock on up on your own. You will be so warmly embraced you’ll wonder why you ever hesitated on going alone.

This evening was a such a peaceful and nourishing experience in what was a few weeks of very big change in my life. I know I wasn’t the only one in the room going through such transition. I believe our souls need symbols to remind us of our truth when the practical reality of being human gets heavy. It’s such a simple thing but these few jewels strung together with intention are doing that for me. Tapping me back into the feeling of that beautiful evening the sense of warmth community and lightness.

Its time to Shine. x

 

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