huntress collective

The Huntress + The Dark Night of the Soul

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The dark night of the soul is something that many people have written about over centuries. The phrase itself has become synonymous with hardship and loss and quests to regain what was lost. I have written alot over the last few years about the experiences and heartache that have shaped who I now am and and most importantly the work that I now find myself devoted to.

I no longer want to tell the stories of ‘this or that’ happened.

I want to tell you how I came out the other side.

I want to tell you what worked and what didn’t.

I want you to know that there is a way through and you don’t have to go it alone.

I want to encourage you to let go of the stories that no longer serve and discover the strength that lies at the heart of your feminine darkness.

In those spaces between the knowing.

This is my story of the Huntress.

 


 

You see I’m fascinated with mythology, I always have been.

These myths date back to the beginning of time and form tapestries on the walls of our collective unconscious. The stories of Artemis and Diana in mythology show her as a moon goddess, governing the wild natures of women children and animals. She is depicted often with the crescent moon with a bow and arrow in her hand. The huntress governs the ebb and flow of our feminine cycle and it is with her by our side that we enter our dark night of the soul. Like a stroll into the woods without her guidance and fierce support do we make it out in one piece.

For this to happen we have to trust her, dance in our darkness and embrace the power and strength that quite frankly we have no clue exists until there is nothing else.

Ask a mother in child birth where she drew the strength from

Ask a wife how she knew that something just wasn’t right

Ask the artist that writes and writes where that first divine spark came from

So when I saw this archetype begin to show up in my life I new it was time. I knew that despite the exhaustion I still felt that I really was out of the woods. That somehow that part of my journey was over. That her strength and resourcefulness was somehow mine to access piece by piece.

This is what she wants me to tell you;

She wants you to listen.

She wants you to sit in the dirt in the darkness in the warm loving embrace of your fellow women.

And stop. And to put. down. your. weapons.

There is a time for fighting, for defending, for taking aim at the target in our sites, but there needs to be a time for taking refuge in safety and warmth and softness. Let us create a space for that now, before its too late. Before the heart ache of loss and let down, of disrespect and disillusionment tarnish our ability to love and trust forever.

Before we lose the learning and the magic inherent in the huntress.

Before all that is left of her magic is anger and armor and we lose the ability to be creative and spontaneous and tap into the endless wisdom of mother nature.

That is the wisdom of the huntress.

 

If this sings to you I would love to hear from you, comment below, or pop me an email

#huntresscollective will be an ongoing part of my coaching work and I’d love to see how she’s showing up in your world too, hashtag your courageous moments on Instagram I’d love to cheer you on!

x

K

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What to do when your Soul makes plans (and doesn’t tell you)

 

What happens when you make plans and your ‘Soul’ has other ideas?

The soul, in many religious, philosophical and mythological traditions, is the incorporeal and, in many conceptions, immortal essence of a living thing        (wikipedia)

I’m not sure about you but there seems to be much more emphasis on this sort of work in the personal growth spiritual world I inhabit from time to time. Less rules and more ‘your chosen path’ is how it seems to me, and about bloody time! I have often felt quite radical in my approach to health and spirituality and what is now called wellness.

For a very long time the options were often very black and white either you ate meat or you didn’t you either subscribed to one particular spiritual teaching or you didn’t. There was no chopping and choosing there was no blending. And from the very outset this felt incredibly disempowering.

But who was I? Some jumped up hippy chick wearing way too little clothing mouthing off at the ahem ‘spiritual’ establishment? Eating what she ‘felt’ was right, subscribing to a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Yup.

Flash forward so many years and one too many episodes of looking outside myself for answers that can only lie within. I found myself questioning my choices, questioning my place, wishing like hell that there was some sort of clan or tribe or tradition that I could cling too while every known thing in my life was washed away.

There wasn’t.

There was just me.

A disruptive woman on a mission

to come home to herself.

It has been quite the crash landing.

So when I read Red Hot and Holy by Sera Beak I didn’t so much read it, as inhale it, in two big juicy giant gulps. Like air I didn’t know I was in desperate lack of. The second segment of the book I read on a flight to Bali. I had three seats to myself. I opened at the page I was up to, turned to the new chapter and read ‘now go get yourself a glass of red wine’ I hit the attendant button. I usually make a fairly consistent rule of not drinking on flights. Those rule just went out the door. My soul needed some red wine. So I read and I drank red wine at 20000 feet or however many feet your meant to be at….. ‘Up High Somewhere’ (thats what it would say on my Instagram location )
The Back Story

My gorgeous friend Belinda had come back to Australia recently and told us (my wifey and I) about this amazing retreat she had just been to in Montana and this Woman and her book.
WE. JUST. HAD.TO. READ.
Sarah and I instantly planned to go to Montana in 2015. Together in the Red Freakin Tent! Oh. Yeah!

Fast forward to 2015. (Hey! Hi there! We’re in the future now! ) Sarah had already booked holiday time, contacted Sera Beak and got her shizzle well and truly sorted.

I had a few things to get my head around, moving house to name just one such thing. I eventually put fingers to keys and popped Sera an email, detailing my interest, my history a bit about my journey so far and the fact that Belinda and Sarah had been and were going, and good heavens I truly wished to be present at Feather Pipe Lodge stay in a Yurt for heavens sake, travel and swoon with the magic of it all. Please. Can I come?

BUT

There was this feeling. Not nameable. But a sensation that said. Hmmmmmmm . When I told the girls that I had emailed Sera there were whoops of joy and high fives (and a few fuck yeahs) ‘Oh your going to have such an amazing time Keri’

AND

then I said “Well loves, it doesn’t quite feel like its decided yet.” If I had to describe it, it feels like my higher self, my team in the sky so to speak are all sitting around having the cosmic equivalent of a board meeting and they cant quite agree how its all going to happen… We need her to be there then… but how are we going to get those people there at the same time? and really? I don’t know if ‘this’ can all happen in time for ‘that’ It was like a pantomime but with cosmic overtones.
Two days at the most later I received an email from Sera. One of the warmest emails I have ever received letting me know that soul to soul going to her retreat wasn’t in my best interest. It just wasn’t on my souls path and, its not personal you understand, its just the nature of what we do, to check in and be 100% sure that everyone there is meant to be there. She might have even said something to the effect of my soul gliding gracefully past on its way to its own destination.

I mean seriously! My first thought was amazement at the level of integrity you must have to turn people away from your retreat. That kind of care and respect at a soul level is the real deal. Not an easy path to tread I might imagine. But SUCH a delicious feeling to be held in that space I have to tell you. So I expected to feel a bit let down, or bummed out or perhaps even miffed ‘that I wasn’t good enough’ (or some such nonsense) But actually it felt completely fine. Oddly fine.

This is what trust in self feels like I thought to myself.

Remember this feeling.

So often we look outside of ourself for the answers. There is nothing wrong with asking for help and assistance and being educated. Not at all. When seeking answers to our life direction though; what might be the right path to take, do I do this or choose that? We need first to really educate ourselves in the tone of our souls voice.

Does it whisper?

Does it howl?

Does it tingle up your spine?
We must differentiate between our souls true voice and the many nagging voices that would lead us down the streets of should and must and no choice and I told you so.
Take some time out to cultivate this relationship with yourself, you will not be disappointed. It may lead you on some wild journeys, but they will be yours.

Since all this some opportunities have come up that I have been waiting years for actually, opportunities and events that weren’t meant to happen this year that I will be able to attend. The one thing that I have learnt is that if I listen and trust this voice it does make sense eventually … most of the time.
But you know, I am still a human woman and it would be nice if my soul could send me a post card from the future and at least tell me what I might want to pack for this amazing future I’m gliding toward.

You know. Just saying.

Is it just me, or has it all gone to sh*t lately?

 

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Today I went up to Springbrook National Park.

Its a short drive from where I live on the Gold Coast. Its been very wet and very warm for this time of year. I say that but to be honest I’m not really sure how wet or warm its meant to be. All I know is that its been summer for at least 6 months here, and I’m pretty happy with that.

One of the walks up on the Springbrook Plateau is called Purling Brook Falls. Its a stunning 4 km circuit trail down to the base of the water fall then back up.

Over 10 years ago now I lived up on Springbrook in the street that Purlingbrook Falls is on.

I walked literally 200 mtrs out my front door every morning and walked that 4 kms to start my day, I would come home meditate and journal then have my breakfast… always a giant mug of home perculated coffee and then start my day.

The year was 2002 there was no Facebook, there was certainly no instagram and the internet was dial up… Do you remember? .. ….weeeawww weeeawwww brrrrrrrr dip dip dip …… thats the sound the interwebs made literally as it was dialing up.

You knew your connection was going to be shit if after those first few dip dip dips, you went back to the weeeaws.

Back then I was an under 30 married hippy chick practicing acupuncture walking in pristine world heritage national forest, meditating, journalling and getting fits for fucks sake… and no one. knew. about it.

No-one. Cared. (and I mean that in a good way)

Not even my husband.

“How was your morning babe?” “Great, walked the Falls, chilled out went to work, it was great .. yours?”

There were no selfies, no proclamations of my feats of spiritual and physical greatness. Just me being me. This was the first time I started writing for real too.

I got the very first article I ever wrote and sent in published in Living Now magazine. I still have it. Somehow it felt too easy. Write an article. Get published. They even wanted to pay me?? Seriously???

I’ve been thinking about this a-lot lately, so I went back up there today to walk it out, feel it out and have a chat to my younger self (there’s another blog post in that one soon)

You see I’ve been asking a bunch of annoying questions of the people in my life recently. Lots of “whats the point?” I’m sure I’ve been like an annoying 4 year old on the cusp of working out their world.

What does this do? How does that work? Why would I want one of those? Specifically, what is the value of the work I do? What is the value of relationships I have and what kind of relationships do I want?

Do I want to seek out another long term partnership? What does that mean to me at this point in my life anyway?

Yup! Just another day in the over thoughtful life of Keri!! But, you know if you don’t ask the questions and live those questions, I don’t think the answers are ever going to present themselves. So I quest, and I live my splendid life and I wonder.

This wondering has taken a little while, a good 6 or 7 months have passed since I was blogging regularly. Lots has changed. There is so much I have to share with you. So much amazing work that I am now getting to do. I have this gorgeous new site, and I really want to do it justice. I want to fill it up with light and hope and have meaningful and fun conversations here.

I want to know that even though now I take selfies, and share my beach walks and invite effectively the whole bloody world in on my personal journey that there IS a point. That its helpful, that it adds value to someone somewhere. Even just one person. I want to make sure that I’m keeping true to my personal values and not falling prey to the technology we now have available.

Would I still be doing all that I am even if no-one knew anything about it. Like in the olden days? And after all this crazy deep thinking the answer is easy and hilarious.

Well YES… Der!

The changes though have not only been internal ones. I’m sure I’m not the only health practitioner/entrepreneur/ blogger to notice that the climate we’re operating in has gone to shit, lets be honest. And no I”m not talking about global warming.

I’m talking about the fear mongering, slander, and heartache that is going on within our industry online.

My heart is sore with it all. Very sore, and its making me question how I want to move forward with my work.

It’s sore for Jess Ainscough and the slander that has been perpetuated about her since her death. Its sore for my dear friends that knew her personally. In the 1500s powerful women with a voice were burnt at the stake as witches, excuse my melodrama but it feels like not much has changed.

My heart is sore for Belle Gibson. Dear God Girl what have you gone and done? We all will pay the price for this.

I was at an event last week listening to Clare Bowditch speak. Wowee what a flame of a women she is. She was talking about the artists ‘right of reply’ which exists now with the advent of social media. She was quite eloquent and heart felt in her desire for Belle to exercise her right of reply. Clare quite rightly spoke for many of us when she said ‘we want to know you care’ ‘we want to know what happened’.

All of us qualified, recognised registered or not are at risk of being tarnished with your brush.

And my heart is sore because I dearly wish to meet someone to share my splendid mad life with.

But you know, the desire to shine bright, to speak my truth and create work that is meaningful has felt awfully at odds with a lovely first date.

When I duck to the loo 20 mins in, my date is capable of googling me, reading about my divorce, abusive relationship, therapy, business goals and my last freakin holiday in Bali.

While. I’m. in. the. loo!

Pee quickly Keri he’s probably got distracted with your Face Book profile!

Hilarious really, and probably just a teeny bit OTT but honestly I know I’m not alone here?

Please don’t think I’m overrun with visions of fame and grandeur but you know what I’m talking about surely. This kind of vulnerability really makes it hard to press publish some days!

Its a funny ol time for a Gen X-er to be single……. and don’t even get me started on all these mega beards.

So for all my dear gorgeous friends who are really feeling it at the moment. Who are much more on the fore front of defending our way of life and our apparently alternative lifestyle choices.

I dedicate this post to you.

I’m back in the trenches and I’m going to all I can to be seen and shine and be the love I want to feel in the world. Thank for keeping my seat warm.

I’m back!

I’d love to hear how your doing. How do you cope in such situations? Are you doing ok?

With love

K x

Feed Yourself Love Vid 3

 

This weeks latest ramble all in the name of feeding yourself love! I talk getting out of the mindset of good and bad food, how to look for the emotion behind the action and what is really going on with the idea of ‘treat’ foods. Comment below and let me know how your going.

Feed Yourself Love

 

With the new year looming down on me, I found myself ( yes just like so many other people without the 20 years experience that I have) feeding the fears. The fears of ‘not enough’ not thin enough, beautiful enough and on and on it went.

I decided that I would put myself on a certain diet regime and that would guarantee that I would be ‘enough’ Well my lovelies that is not how it works and just in time I recognised the fact that I was coming from a place of fear and rectified my course. Violá Feed Yourself Love was created. A manifesto of sorts to come back to when we have forgotten how perfect we really are with all our inherent imperfections. You are exactly where your meant to be. Feed yourself love, and watch your relationship with food transform. This is the first of 4 videos. Email me for the worksheets (all free)

With love

Keri

 

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