Give me a ‘B’

 

 

Give me a B

Blogcademy Brisbane November 2013 


head mistresses

So, The Blogcademy, wow it feels like a year ago not a short few weeks. Thats Gala Kat + Shauna above doing their thing sharing their hard won knowledge and inspiration on day one.

Leaving the venue (which was deluxe by the way Bleeding Heart Gallery) I felt like I had been shot out of a spakley super charged cannon and into the future. The future where I was redrafting my bio and about me page, writing for the first time ever my blogging business plan, setting goals and timelines and spending afternoons on photo shoots for future blogs… oh yeah and holding down my day job and creating content… somewhere in there has been some sleep and the occasional meal.

Before you call me out, no, I’m not complaining. Its only now that I stop to write about the experience I can see just how much I have been inspired in the most practical put- it- into- action- straight- away kind of way .

And this of course is the kind of practical magic I love. Give me inspo please, give me sparkles and style but don’t leave me hanging with a big question hanging over the how.. and I wasn’t disappointed here AT ALL

 

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That’d be me… with ears … its just how we roll.

Two whole days in a bloggers paradise. Where do I start?  Firstly I’ll start with how I felt because I felt so damn excited and not just in a ‘what will I learn’ kind of way. That of course was part of it but I felt excited in a way that hinted at a reinvention of myself like I’d been handed a big fat permission slip to be ALL of me, even the bits that I hadn’t quite worked out yet. Like the blogger bit of me, Yes?

People are shocked sometimes to hear that I’m an introvert and I associated quite strongly with that title. In amongst my closest friends I can be quite dramatic! So it was with a degree of nervousness that I turned up on the first day.  One of best things about  the ears.. beside the fact that they’re just amazing is that they instantly break the ice, you can be wild and fun and tap into that part of yourself that just really wants to GO THERE. And go there we did.

 

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My camera phone never left my hand! 

I could write for a month on things that I learnt and relearnt over the course of the two days but heres 2 short lists.

Things that I have been working feverishly on since Blodcademy

1.Writing writing writing!! I have 3 or 4 note books scattered around the apartment filled with hand written articles and inspo.

2.Getting up close and personal with my Bio and being real brave about sharing who I am and what I really really want to offer.

3.Tidiying up the visual noise, stream lining images and colours and design . This is the tricky stuff for me so I’ve had to learn to be kinda patient and ask for help .. its a process people!

 

 Things that have really rocked my world and will rock yours should you go in 2014 (and you should)

  1. Blogging is a business. Show up to work like you would any other job you want to be successful at.
  2. Hone your voice, get clear on your message and the people your speaking to and be unapologetically true to that voice.
  3. Have a Brand Audit – this is your visual voice. Get it clear.
  4. Nourish your muse, read outside your genre and make space regularly and with discipline and she will show up.
  5. Being generous giving value, adding joy and love to your readers life is the best marketing you can do.
  6. Invest in yourself!
  7. Sart before your ready and when you know better do better .

 

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Thanks to the Headmistresses I fell in love with the potential of who I can be, of who I am when I let down the saftety nets and think BIG and risk looking stupid on the off chance that actually I’ll just shine. (or look tired with a cupcake at the end of one epic weekend!)

These three women gave us a way of tapping into our super powers and rethinking that version of ourselves that we know all too well. We were given permission to shine, permission to stand out and have our say, we were given permission to wear sparkley ears through the mall in broad day light. To order sushi and juice and not bat an eye lid.  Just because.

 


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I want to marry all of you and live in a big sparkly pink house with all out pets…. well it would be fun for a week every year no? 

 

x

All photos except the tired cupcake courtesy of the wonderful Janneke Storm! www.jannekestorm.com

Qi follows the Yi – Part One

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Well tonight elemental travellers I am talking a little about the Earth element, and in keeping with this elements nature I am likely to wax a little lyrical!

 

The organs involved in the Earth element are the Stomach and Spleen. Now in the west, we know a fair bit about the stomach, practically, what it does and where it is and the fact that basically ‘its where all the food goes’ !

The Spleen on the other hand is a bit more of a mystery. Its usually the organ that in all those movies with a car crash people end up having taken out! “Ruptured Spleen! Get them to OR Stat”…… I may be getting a bit carried away here, but you get my drift.

The Spleen is on the left side of the body, just under the ribs beside the stomach and in Eastern Philosophy has just as important role in the function of digestion as the stomach, but is also involved in regulating the mind and a healthy sense of self.

 

The Spleen houses the Yi (pronounced eeee) and it can roughly be described as our sense of self, the self that exists in our mind, and is expressed in our thoughts.  Clarity of intention and thoughtful reflection are products of a healthy Yi.

And this is where healthy thoughts and digestion meet.

Our Earth element, the Yi and the Stomach and Spleen, are not only digesting the food we eat, but they are also digesting the thoughts and experiences we are having.

 

Quite literally our Qi (energy/fuel) goes where our thoughts are and those thoughts need to be ‘digested’ Now if we’re eating a meal, and we are watching TV, checking face book and listening to our spouse/ housemate/ children how much fuel is focused on the food that is going in and how much fuel is going on actually breaking down that meal to the best possible end result? Not a lot!

 

Now lets take it up a notch, we have had a really bad day at work and are feeling a whole range of emotions (that need digesting) we have scoffed a chocolate bar on the drive home to suppress those feelings (that needs digesting ) we are met at the door with a well meaning glass of wine (that needs digesting) followed by the above scenario involving some greasy take away pizza. Does anyone else feel tired? Your Spleen does!

 

The result of this is congested digestion but also congested thinking and depending on your build and constitution a whole range of symptoms might be experienced after a meal like this. Bloating, wind, and a heavy sluggish feeling along with a foggy mind and probably a desire to fall straight to sleep!

 

Life happens and sometimes rightly or wrongly we find ourselves multitasking. Sometimes this involves doing things while we’re eating.

 

In an ideal world we will get the best out of our food if we are mindful of it.

 And we will have clarity of thought and a peaceful mind if we are able to observe what else we are digesting in that process.

 

What can we practically do to assist this process?

 

1. Limit the things we are doing at meal times. Its proven that multitasking doesn’t actually result in higher productivity. Set aside even a small amount of time just to eat your food. This doesn’t have to be a silent zen affair as anyone with children will attest, just limit as much as possible the distractions!

2. Choose your food based on your mood, now this isn’t me saying to binge when your sad, rather just be aware of what else is happening for you. If your tired already, don’t sit down to a big heavy meal, quite simply it won’t get digested. If your emotional by all means eat comforting food, but these should be nourishing soups, roast veges, rice puddings. Food that supports you and won’t suppress the feelings we are often trying to escape from.

3. Eat according to season and source food thats as natural as possible. Food that is warm and lightly cooked is ideal to support the Earth element. Cold and raw foods tax the Earth element. (This statement will get its own blog people hang in there!)

4.Those ‘Spleeny’ Earth types out there will tend toward craving sweet foods, to maintain your healthy blood sugar levels, make these naturally sweet foods, not highly processed foods full of sugar.

5. Ginger tea in the morning is great to wake your digestive fire, and cinnamon is a beautiful herb to add to breakfasts and deserts.

 

When the Earth element is nourished with mindful eating the consistency applied to our digestion will cultivate a consistency and reliability in our state of mind. With our Earth element centred and grounded our thoughts have a solid foundation, and the actions that flow from these thoughts will be longer lasting.

 

So as a simple exercise for the week, observe your thinking and your eating. No judging. Just start watching where your mind is and how you are feeling at the time and where your mind is while your eating. Don’t take my word for it, observe this difference between a mindful meal, and one eaten on the run and let me know how you go.

 

x

K

 

 

Sex + Wealth + Self Esteem

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I have been sitting on this post for a long time. About a year actually. Its taken that long for me to be really sure there was a necessary message here and that I wasn’t coming from a reactive place, because for a long time I was. You see this is a pretty personal post, but one after a lot of deliberation I really want to share.

I woke up one day last year, to find myself in an abusive relationship. There,  I said it. Done.

The tricky thing is that I wasn’t just in one abusive relationship. I was in two. One with the man I was with and one with myself. I’ll let you sit with this for a moment because its an important thing to understand, that one couldn’t happen without the other. This has nothing to do with blame or fault or making things that aren’t ok, ok. Its about knowing what kind of environment things need to grow in.

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Let me give you a bit of a back story to this monumental day in my life, the day I set myself free from a lifetimes belief that bound me to thinking small, dreaming small and keeping myself playing small when in relationships… which is to say, all the time, forever since the beginning of time!

I’m not great at being in a relationship and taking care of myself… out of respect for your boredom and the people involved lets just let that sit as a happy generalisation. (No one got hurt in the making of that generalisation so we’re going to run with it)

But what I learnt that day is that I had been hard wired somehow to believe that within an intimate relationship I needed to play small, keep quiet, and restrict my fabulosity….to get my basic needs met.

Now just sit still for another sec and let that sink in….because it’s bloody ouchy yes?

Yes it is.

How had this happened? Where had this come from?

Well I’m not alone here I know but once again for the respect of all involved lets just say my childhood was a little tricky.

Its was also loving and wonderful, and awkward and dreadful but right now we’re talking about the tricky stuff ok? Stick with me!

One of the things I have retrospectively understood is that children growing up in abusive environments learn to make a whole bunch of stuff that isn’t ok .. ok.  Your a kid, someone else provides a roof over your head and puts food on the table and presents under the xmas tree. All these things and the stuff that isn’t ok are somehow linked in your child mind so you just make it ALL ok…. its the reality.

You learn real quick that to keep quiet, make it all ok and keep the peace is a really important skill and all this is linked to getting some basic needs met, and being loved…. thats also a really basic need BTW!

Gawd that’s heavy right?!!

Now many years later as a grown woman running her own business I’ve been busy working out how to ‘attract wealth’ and ‘manifest abundance’  …. you get the picture. For the first time instead of doing all the usual woo woo, om shanti courses I know and love…. I started taking some more mainstream business courses.

Now to say that I had some resistance to this is a MASSIVE understatement! But where there is resistance there is juice… so off I trotted. It turns out the bunch of people I was to do these courses with knew a thing or two, but still…. there was resistance.

 

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So back to the day of my aha moment.

Here I was noticing all this resistance to working through my stuff. To learning new ways to run my business and attract abundance in all its forms. I was also living in what I now affectionately call Fear Soup.

This unhealthy relationship I was in brought to my attention that I REALLY avoid at all costs ANYTHING (in relationships) that feels uncomfortable and will twist myself into all manner of pretzel shapes to avoid being in that uncomfortable situation. This usually includes playing small, ‘keeping nice’ and experiencing what ever unacceptable behaviour comes my way to keep the peace.

Now as anyone with any experience in ‘woo woo ‘ practices will know, that until you GET the lesson, the universe will keep sending you a bigger and louder version of the lesson you are refusing to see.

So I continued to live in Fear Soup and the incidents of scary totally not ok behaviour escalated and my abusive relationship with myself continued.

Let me be really clear here that by referring to my relationship with myself I am not making anything that isn’t ok ok.

If your reading this and your in an unsafe situation

and there are things happening in your life that your not ok with.

Then they are NOT ok.

Period.

For me in writing this and recognising the internal environment that I had going on lets me step away from the duality of victim and perpetrator. I’m not interested in that model at all. AT ALL. By acknowledging my beliefs and experiences I get to be self empowered and thats a pretty big deal.

 So things finally got to the point where I was so emotionally uncomfortable that I had no where else to go but to feel the discomfort I was in. I remember that I could barely even sit still. I couldn’t meditate,  I couldn’t write. I had numbed out totally in a bid to avoid feeling what was going on for me and what was getting louder and more obviously not ok in my relationship.

Then one day there was no where else to run and the discomfort of not feeling was suddenly more uncomfortable than feeling. So finally I just sat with being very uncomfortable and scared and not knowing….. and I didn’t even have to do it for very long until…. Shazam!

I uncovered that little gem of a belief that says its ok to be treated like crap and to play small as long as someone says they love you and are going to provide for you. This had lived in my brain for all these years kept ‘safe’ by the fact that I was never going to go near it as it was so damn uncomfortable! You starting to see how this all works? How these beliefs protect themselves, yes?

I saw very clearly why I would have been attracted to this particular relationship and that truly the only way for me to uncover this limiting belief was to blow it up nice and large with surround sound so I would see it for what it is.

Money, safety, self worth and the belief that I am enough and worthy of love free of charge with no catch with no need to fix, salvage, or experience abuse are all wrapped up in one rather warped little package….. or I should say WERE wrapped up.

So now this is a pretty damn big deal…. I mean a really big deal, this I think truly was the most freeing moment of my life, no kidding. Whilst its all very fabulous to broadcast ones AHA moments on the interweb for the entire planet to witness I’m not really that much of an extrovert and this is a REALLY sensitive topic. As I said earlier I have sat on this post for a long time and its continued to blink at me, waiting for the time to be right, why? Well I think its because  as women in business heck as women full stop we need to be having more open conversations like this. Conversations with more options available to us other than, victim and perpetrator.

As a woman I am by no means alone in these links, assumptions and beliefs, and so long as they are running unchecked in your subconscious (my/our subconscious)…. they are running the show, THE. WHOLE. SHOW. setting the bar for how much your going to be valued (regardless of how many attract wealth courses you do) and how well your going to be treated, by yourself as well as others.

I have conversations around these topics all the time with my coaching clients, because to truly shine and be all of you unrestricted by these beliefs we need to go digging a little. Not all the time. Not until your ready.

Another push to publish this post was a reading a blog from a new author @KateNorthrup. I have inhaled with delight her first book #moneyalovestory. Its just divine. In it she talks about these sorts of associations we have with money and self worth and the physical symptoms that  can show up and certainly did for me. It was a bittersweet moment of validation as a I read her book and in it the whispered words of encouragement … share your story, it has value…..

For me there is a very large space now that needs to be filled with healthy values about self respect and self love and self worth that will set the tone for all transactions and currencies in my future. Within relationships, work settings, heavens even the pricing on the content of my work hinges on these beliefs.

Before we can go setting the new programs, we have to dig deep, we have to be prepared to sit still in the uncomfortable places with ourselves and reveal whats underlying our experiences that is helping to create such a dysfunctional reality. (Be that the bullying boss the abusive spouse or financial situation that despite ‘all the right things’ just isn’t budging )

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So my situation eventually improved. I managed to extricate myself out of the relationship I was in. None too gracefully I might add! I didn’t talk about it for quite some time. For those people who weren’t in my closest Goddess Circle who knew the situation, it looked like I was walking away from the perfect relationship. Thats how these things work. But now a year down the track, I comfort myself with the understanding that on a soul level we had an agreement. That he would treat me is such an appalling way so I would learn the most important lesson of my life. Thats how I see it now. Trust is slow to rebuild. Those synapses are slow to transform, but I’m getting there. And so will you gorgeous reader. I know you will. Be brave, be bold. Value yourself ok, ’cause your so damn loveable. Yes you are!

xx

K

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“Here is your sign” (said the universe to the human)

I had a day not so long ago, that simply looked like this ……..

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I know I’m not alone.

I know it won’t be the last day I experience that overwhelming hectic paced busy mind. So busy and noisy that I wondered not once but probably a million times that day that maybe I might just go crazy. So on this day when my mind was a scribble of noise and clashing thoughts, I still did the laundry. I still walked the dog. I still went to work.

And all the while the noise raged on. And on. And on.

I spent the day watching this noise in what I believed was a detached albeit very frustrated way. Like someone had left the TV on with my most disliked show playing on endless repeat and I couldn’t switch it off. At all. Ever. It was exhausting.

As I was leaving work that night my mind raged on. I walked to the car park through the open field into the night. I reached the car park where it was lit but the dark night sky extended above me.

I was alone.

I sighed a big outloud exasperated sigh and pondered to myself how on Earth I was meant to create my magical world with my mind going over and over all the possible disastrous things that were of course in its worse case scenario setting going to happen to me. I wondered in that way where you can have what feels like one hundred thoughts in a split second. Thoughts become things Keri I thought to myself. Thoughts become things. And I sighed again and and thought out aloud.

Give. Me. A. Sign.

 

 

And this is what happened …….

Looking for a sign

Credit:Huffington Post

I couldn’t make this up if I tried. Before the word ‘sign’ was completely out of my mouth a star shot across the sky. It took about 5 seconds to finish its journey. Thats not a short amount of time, count it out now if you like.

One thousand, two thousand, three thousand, four thousand, five thousand.  It had a tail and everything!

My mouth was literally hanging open and I’m pretty sure I swore out loud to no one but the universe in particular. That’s the classy sort of gal I am.

And my mind was quiet.

 

I still get goosebumps thinking about this night as I write this. I don’t pretend to know exactly what the sign was for, but I’m guessing for me it means I’m not alone, I am loved, there is a point to all of it.

I remember thinking that here I was watching light that has made its way across the galaxy, witnessing something indescribable that probably happened aeons ago….. what are we all doing here on planet Earth if not witnessing each others light?

What I learnt that night though, was that you get the best view from a distant vantage point, so don’t doubt for one second Gorgeous One that your light is wasted, that its not seen, not bright enough or important enough. Your magic is being witnessed.

If your looking for a sign, waiting to be given the magical green light. Then this is it. GO!.

Shine your starlight .

x

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Healing @ Home!

Theres a lot of talk in my world about walking the talk. To be truthful it’s probably a good thing. As a healer/therapist type its too easy to book your work up, fill your ‘spare’ time up with family, admin, and all the other things that seem necessary in our daily existence then wonder why you hit burn out. So with that in mind I thought I would share with you the first in my series of…

Beautiful day in the life…. 

 

Heres how you do it.

1. Grab two super besties…. insert Jac Jac and Jo Jo! (Yes we have repetitive code names… of course we do)

2. Set the space up with intention, presence, joy and magic and LOVE

3. Grab your crystals, oracle cards and all your therapist goodies…. insert hot stones, black sesame oil, subtle energy potions and lotions, singing bowls. Oh and of course your own super powers.

 

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4. Aaaaand Repeat with regularity!

x

Constellation of the Heart

Contellation

Well hello there gorgeous new reader peeps!

This is one straight out of the archives from my old blog over on Blogger… I have kept it intact so I could keep the bats… yes the bats … you’ll see. I’m so delighted to have you on board, there will be more updates from me soon, but for the mean while enjoy…..

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As I sit down tonight ready to write the post that I have been composing in my head for most of the day I realise tonight isn’t her night…..something else has made its presence felt and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to manage it!

Tonight will be about the Shen and the heart and the internal fire that steers us onward on our own little life paths.

How do I write about the Shen? And how do I make is seem accessible and meaningful in todays world? Not just something that we see and read as poetic, but ultimately inapplicable to our daily practical lives?

I’m not sure, but this is where I will start…

The Shen is the soul that resides in the heart, which is of the fire element, the colour red and the emotion of joy. This is soul most like what we in the west would call the ‘soul’. The light of life that is reflected in the eyes of a happy vibrant person, that extra spark that we see in people that are calm and composed and radiant.

When happily ‘housed’ in the heart the Shen is often talked about as a small flock of birds that when at peace reside contentedly in the heart  (cue the pigeons cooing!) When shocked or subject to strong emotion or conflict the birds flee, dispersing in all directions. This leaves us feeling uncentered, ungrounded and confused, not sure of what our true purpose is and quite literally asking ourselves what do I do now?

Most of us unfortunately will have felt this feeling; a car accident, receiving shocking news. My Shen most definitely flew the coop the night my dog was hit by a car. (He and my Shen are both doing well in rehab!)

 

This feeling though and the disturbance of the Shen isn’t reserved for these more extreme events. The fast pace of our lives and the modern environments we are creating and living in don’t always serve our highest needs. The noise, static and relentless pace rattles our emotional body, exhausts our physical body and the shen, lacking sufficient protection becomes disturbed.  Zen Master Robert Aitkens has been quoted as saying that the shock many of us are living in has us “rationalising ourselves into insensitivity”

 

What does this result in for our physical health?  Insomnia, anxiety, depression and in the more extreme cases addiction and mental and emotional illness.

 

The retreat where I work is having a specialty week on Sleep. The clients I saw today all had insomnia and sleep issues, and they all had Shen disturbances. Some were more obviously emotionally related to acute events, some were long standing, related to inability to cope with change, lack of purpose and exhaustion due to over work. They all had heart burn and other heat related digestive symptoms. Their healing is going to take TIME. And I stress this, because as I write, I’m thinking to myself, keep it relevant, keep it practical give the readers something easy to take home with them…….

The really tricky thing this isn’t easy. Not in the drive through, double macchiato kind of way we have gotten used to…easy.

 

Our spirit, our Shen is in itself pure yang, pure divine light.  Its not until it is housed in the yin casing of the heart and we live through it and it through us that it is seen and experienced.

To heal and recall the dispersed light of the shen we need to cultivate a peaceful place for it to come home to. For some people this is going to take a while and it will involve regular treatment and the creation of peaceful spaces both internal and external. Once again this doesn’t have to involve removing oneself to a mountain top (although that is lovely! )

 

  • Mindfulness meditation 10 min per day is a perfect start.
  • Nourishing food to ground the Yi and the Hun
  • Limit stimulants
  • Honour your emotions with journal writing… it doesn’t have to be Homers Odyssey, just get those feelings out.
  • And by all means seek integrated medical advice from a GP versed in nutritional sciences.

 

Spend time with yourself, please don’t write this off as impossible. I know some houses where the glow of the TV dominates every meal. Give your energetic body a break every now and then. You will be rewarded with more enthusiasm and purpose in the rest of your day.

 

As I wrote this post tonight a bat entered my apartment! Not a flying fox, a straight from Bram Stoker, Batman emblem  bat! It flew around and around and for a second I thought about trying to catch it. Then I remembered that of course bats are almost blind but they navigate by echolocation so I should just sit still and it will find the window. It clearly didn’t want to go back out the window it came and and whooshed itself down the stairs and into the kitchen, I followed and (dog in arms) opened the front door and sure enough out it went. It didn’t bump into anything not the bannister, tall vases or laundry.

 

Our Shen is a bit like that bat, it has its own innate sense of direction…. give it space give it time be patient open a few doors and windows and watch you never know just where it will lead you!

 

I used to love watching these starlings in Ireland. I was reminded of them as I wrote this tonight.  They do this amazing dance together then go home to roost. Quite perfect really. For our spirits to soar they need a place to come home to.

K

x

 

 

Murmuration!

 

 

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