Women On Fire

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Its been tough.

Its been amazing .

Life has taken you to your edge more than you ever thought possible, the thoughts dreams hopes and fantasies of your youth got gritty and edgy and dirty and you thought and prayed on more than one occasion “Fuq I hope I get through this.”

Yet on the outside you looked for all the world like a woman coping with amazing adversity with grace poise and determination. The option of collapse just wasn’t on the cards there was too much riding on your success.

And even while people complemented you on your ability to get the job done, at home on your own you doubted your very ability to get up and do it all again the next morning.

You read books on self help Echart Toile and Brené Brown have been your bedtime companions, you bought yourself flowers, walked the dog fed your kids and kept the toilet paper stocked up. And Did. It all. Again. The next day.

You were hungry, you still are hungry, craving a desire for nourishment deep in your bones deep in your very soul that wakes you up every day, eyes on the horizon putting one foot in front of the other.

You gratitude prayer is your mantra, its your daily bread and butter whilst you put together that proposal and dream up the next step of your evolution.

Its been tough but the light is getting brighter, YOUR light is getting brighter.But hell it would be great to not have to do it all on your own.

A tribe, A team that has been there too. Has been there in the dark as you watched all that you knew and love vanish and yet you still drew breath.

You danced you swam, you made some very questionable decisions, repeatedly!

You learnt you experience you picked yourself up and fell down another rabbit hole!

Your not happy with the status quo, the mundane you can deal with but settling isn’t part of your vocabulary. Its not that you want lots of attention and ego stroking, just to give yourself the permission to fucking BE all that you are, permission to speak your truth and live your dharma, the role, the story, the magic that only you dear woman can sing into this world. I hear you!

The peak of your youth is just behind you, but you have never felt more at home in your body, more quietly confident, the fire in you is rising, the magic, the sex the power that is yours and only yours is simmering almost ready, you feel it yes?

 

I’m calling out to you women, high and low, good god I’d love to meet you how I’d love to have you on my team and share my story with you.

 

To sit around this virtual fireside and support each other and journey together that is my wish, is my heartfelt spiritual directive.

 

In ancient times we had a place, a collective and a space to weave and share and dream and birth our stories in this world.  To laugh and be deliciously wicked and wild. Dear one this is such a space. Come sit and play and laugh and heal.

Healing that will set your world on fire.

x

K

 

Primal Po meets Modern Man

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From the archives is the post all about  the Po. The alchemical spirit of the lungs and how we can incorporate this ancient wisdom of the most primal aspect of ourselves into our modern worlds .

 

I have all these incredibly intellectual ideas and theories to share on the soma; the physical body, and its responses and how the Po is an expression of the innate wisdom of our cellular bodies. And I”m sure I’ll get to that at some point… there is an endless amount of information I can share from this elemental point of view.

 

What I am really feeling tonight when I think about the Po is the gentrification of the body and the senses and how thats effecting our health and our relationship with our bodies wellness. Oh is that all… the ‘gentrification’ of the body!!

The Po is experienced through our senses, taste, texture, scent, sight. Its the automatic functions of our bodies like breathing and peristalsis (digestion). Its experienced in that space between our skin (our awareness of where we start and stop) and the outside world. Its the animalistic aspects of our functioning bodies and our psyche.

 

Its all the bits we have no control over yet constantly inform our likes dislikes and urges. 

 And as highly functioning modern upright people, we have a few issues with these urges and tastes don’t we? ( This is where the gentrification bit come in ) Our minds and intellect, and our hearts and dreams would have us operating from an almost utopian platform. We have been culturally disciplined to detach and suppress the so called less attractive aspects of our bodies and minds. There is much that still today we wouldn’t dare discuss ‘in public’ . And yet much of these taboo subjects include basic bodily functions that are quite essential to our wellbeing and survival ( think poo and sex ).

So what happens when we suppress the Po and ignore the innate wisdom of our bodies and trust that connection between the body and the mind? Pain and ‘psychosomatic’ symptoms ranging from stress-related skin disorders, eating disorders and chronic undiagnosable pain.

 

Our bodies only ‘language’ is our nervous system and its through this system that it will try and get its messages across to us. They sound something like this.

 

“Hey, you up there! ” (patient pause for response) “Hey! We don’t think you should be eating that… (another patient pause) HEY!!!! (huddle together for a brain storm) I know, we’ll create some pain, that’ll do it. (patient pause) Damn it they just took a pain killer….. hmmmm Ok Ok I’ve got it, some red skin that always gets them ok GO!

 

Ok so this isn’t exactly scientific but you get my point. The bodies wisdom; the innate cellular wisdom, that gut feeling, intuition, or a ‘sense of knowing’, does actually need to be heard occasionally! Or, quite simply there are consequences. Now this doesn’t mean that we have to go all primal and throw out all the other functions. The other spirits have their place.

 

Ideally they work together. Depending on our own make up and our cultural learnings some are going to be more easily integrated than others. Myself, I live in this visceral world of experiencing life through the Po. I probably give this spirit way too much free rein! What does that look like?

 

Senses, texture and environment are paramount to the Metal element. There are always scented candles burning and fresh flowers and my house has always been full of animals (lets not mention the bats here ok). I work physically with peoples bodies. I have a bathroom full of more oil and lotions than any one body is ever going to be able to absorb and I spend almost more time in the ocean than on dry land. In winter this is replaced by the bath tub (Tonights blog is proudly bought to you by Embody Bath Salts). Textured cushions, natural fibres, LOTS of colour, really I could go on and on. If this sounds like you and your saying, well thats every modern woman surely, I’ll tell you sadly this is not so.

 

This genuine external expression of the Po is matched with an internal nourishment and respect of that animal instinct. The ability to ‘check in’ with our bodies and interpret its metaphorical language. This I believe is becoming quite a rare ability as we seek to cover up, pretty up and medicate the aspects of ourselves that we don’t like, don’t ‘fit’ or are fearful of. To bring that full circle and back to the bodies I spend my day working with, this results in disharmony. Disharmony of mind and body expressing its self in pain and inflammation of increasing severity.

As I read this I realise this really is my primary function with my treatments. To work as an interpreter for the body and to translate the pain and inflammation that my clients are experiencing so they might heal themselves. What can you do to nourish your Po? Well, any of the above is great, experiencing your senses, in what ever way is fun for you. (You don’t have to turn it into the extreme sport as I tend to do)

One of the easiest ways is to simply ‘check in’ with you body. When I think this or eat this how do I feel? more or less calm?  more or less tight in my shoulders? BREATHE! yep just slowly calmly breathe. You’ll be surprised to find just how often your holding your breathe.

 

To finish off, here is a quote from one of my favourite books “Five Spirits” that so beautifully articulates the place I wish to take my practice.

By Lorie Eve Dechar. Lantern Books 2006

 

“When the acupuncture needle penetrates the surface of the skin, there is a moment of silence, an emptiness, a wondering and not knowing. When the metal needle meets the living body, there is a silence, a pause …before the tiny whirlwind spins and the qi redirects its course. For thousands of years, the intentions of healers and patients have met in that single breathless emptiness, that turning point of the soul that is the moment of transformation.

Perhaps, as we open to another form of consciousness, the present silence of our world will become that empty turning point, that breathless moment of change.  Perhaps, if one by one we humans reclaim our vision of a living cosmos imbued with intention and intelligence and illuminated by wisdom, we will become like ten thousand silver needles penetrating and healing the body of the earth. Then perhaps , through healing our planet, we will heal ourselves and hear again the songs that the stones of the earth are singing to the clouds of heaven .”

 

x

K

 

Ride that Unicorn to Boyfriend Town + other real life rituals of love!

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So. This weekend is Valentines Day. And you know what, I am really quite over having my otherwise gorgeous relaxing weekend taken over by some absolutely bullshit holiday or another! Yup I’m not even sugar coating this rant, its straight into it!

You see, as I found myself  today launching headlong into another grinch style moment over the upcoming Hallmark occasion, I realised, a little self consciously, that I go on like this a bit lately. As my mind tracked back over Australia Day, New Years Day, Christmas and please-don’t-even-get-me-started-on-things-like-Hens-Parties I saw a real trend happening here.

No, not that I’m a woman of a certain age that is single and gotten her Victoria Secrets in a twist.

That’s not it at all.

Really.

Its that I actually dearly love and cherish ritual in my life REAL ritual. Ritual that marks occasions with authenticity and thoughtfulness mindfulness and meaning and yes fun too! I have gotten to a point in my life that I’m finding it harder and harder to play along with occasions that I find honestly, quite distasteful and disrespectful to all involved.

Now I know, a bunch of you are reading this thinking yeah but I bet if she had a delish man in her life showering her with attention this weekend she’d change her tune. Well peeps unless someone gets their act into gear quick smart between now and Sat your going to have to wait a while to see what that metaphorical pudding looks like… um in about a years time. What I can say  is that in the beautiful romantic relationships in my past I have enjoyed sharing created rituals. How do you do that I hear you say?  Read on gorgeous ones read on!

Lets start with New Years as its the most recent.  I usually categorically avoid New Years, I’m not sure why, I think it just feels like there is so much pressure for it to be this evening of epic proportions. I have two caveats here and that involves Sydney Harbour  fire works and the New York Times Square dropping of the ball, other than that I’m in bed in time to get up and watch the sunrise.

This year things didn’t go to my control freaky plans but I did enjoy this beautiful new year sunrise and the next night which was the first new moon of the year I created a new year ritual.

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For this ritual you will need.

Something to safely burn small pieces of paper in. A pot out in the open or safely in the laundry sink is always a good idea.

Of course I have a cauldron!  Then add all your favourite things like candles, tea or your favourite yummy beverage, and a list.

On that list you are writing down all the things you have to thank the previous year for. The gifts and learnings, the fun stuff that you want more of  and the tricky stuff that you struggled through and learnt from and are ready to let go. You can write it down like your talking to someone or just list all the words thoughts and pictures down any ol’ how on a piece of paper.

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For my New Year Ritual I was home alone, I had my yummy tea, I was working through some new years plans and lists, I had candles burning and beautiful music playing.

The trick with any ritual isn’t that these things actually have  magical powers on their own, you see its all about your intention. For me these things set the mood, create the feeling of sacred space and open me up to the possibilities and dreams that are hiding away in my subconscious. If all you have time for is a five minute out loud wish list and blowing out a candle whilst you hide in the bathroom from your 4 year old playing hide and seek. I totally believe that works too!

The wonderful thing about this kind of ritual is that it works for lots of occasions. I did it to mark the new calendar year on the new moon. You could easily do it as friends of mine did for the Chinese New Year. Anniversaries and Birthdays are another beautiful time to re-asses and let go of the old and invite in the new!

 

So once you have that list all written out its time to set it on fire!

Now seriously, do I have to remind you to put the kids and the cats and curtains and the expensive silk highly flammable things away… far far away? I do? Ok go sort that stuff out then come back.

Now you set it on fire in the cauldron (big pot) and visualise your dreams and burdens streaming away into the ether to be filed in the appropriate cosmic filing cabinet as it goes up in smoke. Easy Peasy!

 

So whilst your working out how to apply this to our own lives, here are 5 sure fire ways to feel loved up and romanced with or without a romantic partner, this weekend or any other. Of course I have assigned them according to the elements.

 

Metal  – Give the gift of an occasion to yourself. Carve out time to read that book or watch your favourite film. Enjoy some time in nature or visit your local art gallery.

Fire  – Use Candles or scents to create a sensory experience in your home. Light candles for yourself and make an occasion of your evening meal. (ahem and yes put your phone away!)

Water- Run a bath to nurture yourself

Earth – Create a beautiful meal full of greens and beautiful flavours to nourish your senses.

Wood – Get sweaty and expressive and turn your fave tunes up nice and loud and dance like no-one is watching!!

 

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In the last few weeks there have been quite a few beautiful opportunities to create and enjoy ritual in my world I believe its something  I will do more of  Here is the link to the gorgeous MelJanePhotography’s Blog. She was the photography for our friend Jodies’ pre wedding ritual. Jodie aptly titled it  ‘Secret Womens Business’  I had been calling it ‘its not a hens party’  You’ll see my cauldron in full swing in her photo above. It was truly such a beautiful night. It was a complete honour to help organise and I really didn’t realise until it was all happening just how special an event it was going to turn out to be.  We all left feeling full up and nourished in a way that only happens when women get together and celebrate and love each other.

That is my kind of Valentines Day!

 

Oh and the Unicorn in Boyfriend Town? Well I also used the above ritual to invite a new man into my life….. I’ll let you know how that gets on as news comes to hand!

x

K

 

 

 

How to have a Staycation!

Staycation, Keri Krieger

Over the Christmas period last year the retreat where I practice was closed down for two whole weeks and for the first time in years I planned to do absolutely nothing with it! In fact I planned what turned out to be the best holiday EVER; my very first Staycation! (And road test all those tips I give out as a health and life coach)

Here’s the five things you need to know to have your very own homestay holiday in paradise!

1. Set up an auto responder for your email. Nope your not even going to think about answering all that mail, your giving your brain a rest!

Here’s some handy sites that can help you set it up from Gmail or your Mac Mail settings

 

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My Stacycation Location

2. Do the biggest grocery shop EVER. Have 3 of everything in the pantry ready to go should you feel like cooking up a gourmet storm or inviting your besties over for something spesh… you don’t grocery shop on holiday do you. No.

So why should you on Staycation?

I’m even thinking having delicious nourishing food ordered in.

Imagine relaxing all day then opening the fridge to these beautiful dinners!

Staycation meets at home health retreat Hells YES!

 

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3. Go Viral with your use of the word staycation. This way everyone knows that your actually on holiday and leaves you the hell alone. (if this is infact what you want, I’m a card carrying introvert here!)

People wouldn’t ask you to babysit whilst your on holiday in Bali.. no of course not and not while your on staycation either thank you very much!

 

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My Staycation Planner

4. Get a plan. You can change it easily but this maps out the key things you want to include and means that you wont get caught up with hmmmm maybe I’ll just quickly clean the blinds today. No sorry blinds I have a date with the art gallery. Done!


5. Having a staycation on your own? Well this doesn’t mean that you rule out romance. Romance yourself gorgeous! Candle lit dinners. Dress up for breakfast. Spend the whole day in bed. Watch the sun set on the beach.

 

 

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 Let me know how you get on with you own Staycation!

x

K

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The Dog Blog!

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Ruben as a pup at the Cliffs of Mohair in County Galway.
(yes I bought him home from 2 years living in Ireland!)

 

In this instalment of the D – Book we’re looking at D for Debt and D for Dog.

In January last year Ruben decided he would take a toddle across four lanes of traffic in the pouring rain. At night.

To this day we are still unsure just how he managed to get out. He’s a pretty clever dog, when I say clever what I really mean is he’s determined. Now even at the time I could see that this was going to be one of these profound learning curves. I just gosh darn wish it hadn’t come quite so close on the back of all the other inspired learning curves. Disaster loves company was one of my less pleasant mantras at this time.

Anyways that night I came home, Sarah aka Wifey and Ruben weren’t home. She often took him with her so that wasn’t unusual, Ruben was often requested for puppy dates so I messaged her to check. “Scuba with you?” (Ruben became ruby, became ruba became scuba… you know how it goes)

Just as the phone goes there is a knock at the door, in the pouring rain, there is man quite animatedly trying to get me to come to the door. Now I’m a pretty easy going gal but I’m not feeling particularly inclined to open that door.

Then I hear him say the word dog.

Then I look down at the phone in my hand “No wifey I don’t have him”

I run out into the rain with nothing but my phone with a strange man who said he’s with another guy who pulled Ruben off the road.

Adrenaline is in full swing pretty quickly.

I stop, pivot back to my front door grab my hand bag.  I assume I must have some how locked the door and continue with the man.

To this day I don’t know his name. I can recall thinking that its a pretty dangerous thing to head off with two unknown men into the night but off I went anyway.

The second guy is pulled up on the side of the highway with Ruben in the passenger seat, he’s called the after hours vet hospital.

I get in. He drives. The other guy vanishes. I wish I had had the wear withal to get his name or something but I didn’t.

Ruben is shaking but responsive, I curl him up in my lap and hold him close to keep him warm from going further into shock.

He shakes. I shake. The guy puts the heater on full even though its January.

I went completely totally numb from head to toe. All I knew was that I needed to call Sarah so she knows where I am  and it took me damn ages to get my fingers to press the right buttons. I had trouble telling her the address of where we were going and I could hear her distress at my distress and the absolute heartbreak that I was terrified of losing the one final thing that would completely undo me.

I also knew that I was going to have to find a fuq load of money, really quickly from out of thin air.

Everyone with a pet who doesn’t have pet insurance stop reading this blog immediately and go and sort some out. Yes I mean actually, right now.

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At Aghadoe Heights in Killarney down the road from where we lived on the Ring of Kerry

The guy drops us off at the Vets and I thank him a million times. The vet nurses take Ruben and shortly Sarah and Dan turn up. I’m a mess Sarah isn’t much better. I truly can’t comprehend just how people with children cope in situations like this. This experience taught me a zillion things. The big one of course was empathy for others going through hard ship. Where you draw your strength from in situations like this is beyond me but you find it. Some how you have to deal with the practical needs of the situation and function. The emotional fall out will be dealt with later.  We’re told they need to observe him. They’ll call me in a few hours and let me know how things are looking. I fill out a what feels like a million pieces of paper. Sarah has to help me remember our address.

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After a long night to make sure he didn’t have internal bleeding, x-rays and all sorts I get a call in the middle of the night to say that he ‘only’ has a broken leg, right up the top of the femur near where the hip joint is. My little love is going to be ok! Decisions have to be made about what sort of surgery to do. How much to they try to do with his leg? Do I want to have a 3 legged dog? Big scary decisions that I didn’t want to make. I just wanted my dog back. In one piece. So I said yes to all of it. Yes to all the surgery the pins the whole kit and caboodle. Cause you know what, the minimum it was going to cost was 5 grand and that was with the ‘simple’ operation to have his leg cut off! Ugh! I’ve tried to type that sentence 4 times it just doesn’t sit well.

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I find the secret in case of emergency  empty credit card that’s in the bottom of the filing cabinet that I had meant to cancel as I never use it and I fill it ALL the way to the top. I feel absolutely sick at the thought of how on Earth (or more accurately when) I am going to pay it off, but you know what, you do what you have to do. I have my love back!

I can’t say I dug deep into some spiritual faith and trusted I honestly can’t. This was a really dark time for me because it felt absolutely like I had been betrayed in the highest order. I felt very much like I was being punished for crimes I didn’t recall committing. I struggled to find meaning behind it all. What was I meant to be learning… seriously lets get this one done so I can get to some good stuff some time soon! In times like this I think its really hard not to take it all personally. Perhaps there isn’t a reason. Perhaps there was no higher order with it all.

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It took Sarah and I 12 weeks of initial rehab with him in a crate as we tag teamed between work and home. Carrying him in and out for the toilet. I worked in the play pen with him to keep him still and quiet and we mopped and mopped and mopped up so much Ruben wee as he became more and more disgruntled about being cooped up!

We took very slow timed walks over the next few months from 5 mins per day per week all the way up to half hour beach walks on the leash.

I lost weight, I lost sleep, I thought my heart would break every time he squealed in pain. But this is us now!

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So my news this week people  is that in just under two years I have finished paying off Rubens credit card!  I am free to plan a holiday, buy appliances and occasionally actually purchase a pair of shoes that aren’t from Kmart! I have to say that I’m pretty damn overwhelmed with the prospect. There is going to be champagne and no doubt some tears! Theres also a bunch of people I really need to thank.

Thank you to Sarah who looked after us, and made tea and mopped tears and more wee than she should ever have to. Thanks to all my Sydney clients for your support I couldn’t have done it without you all. Thanks to my parents for buying me tyres, and to my friends for not tiring of hearing that I couldn’t do something because I was paying off Rubens Credit Card!!

I’m a stronger more resilient more financially competent women and I’ve been taught the true nature of unconditional love every day for last two years.  This is not something I am ever going to forget.

And to Ruben, your unconditional love over the last 5 years has kept me afloat, reminded me who I am, kept me fit and active and every day that I come home to you my belief in magic is reconfirmed. I love you.

x

K

Qi Follows the Yi – Part Two

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Ah Yes! The good ol’ a picture tells a 1000 words!

The 5 elements that I have been banging on about for practically ever work together in this 5 pointed star type arrangement. If you follow around the circle in a clockwise direction you get the nourishing cycle. This is how things work in harmony. You can simplify it if you put it into terms of what would happen in nature. For example we need water to nourish new plants (wood) so there can be growth and then in turn those trees feed fires… and on it goes around.
The star cycle that criss crosses shows us how things are kept in check. Keeping it simple as I can metal ‘controls’ wood….(metal chops down trees) makes a bit of sense right? It does get a little bit trickier when we bring the organs in, especially knowing how complex their functioning is from a western point of view, let alone Chinese Philosophy!
But keeping it simple… you know how I love to keep things simple, an example would be when we eat lots of cold forming foods, e.g. dairy and our digestion doesn’t process this effectively the Earth function of transforming our foods into fuel we can use diminishes. This affects his friend the Metal element (next in line) resulting in a build up of phlegm in the lungs, skin issues or constipation…….. kinda making sense Yes? Think children with allergies resulting in rashes.

So here we have a super fun chart of all the stuff that can go wrong when the energy is going in the opposite direction! In this picture we are looking at what happens when our negative thoughts and emotions start to get away with us!

Earlier on in this blog I talked about how our Qi (energy/ fuel) follows our Yi (thoughts/ concentration). This theory works in regards to all our mental / emotional experiences as wherever we are placing our focus and attention our energy will go. So when we experience an excess of any emotion this begins to tax the correlating organ and can set up, in long term situations, real physical pathology.

Now, I’m not one to want to bum out my readers so I’m going to turn this little chart into a silver lining. When we understand the very real interactions of these emotions and the physiological effects they are having on us we can begin to see and slowly master what we need to do in order to regulate these feelings that are not always super helpful.

I’m not saying here for a second the emotions are not an essential and necessary part of our biological vocabulary, but sometimes for a whole range of reasons real and imaginary we can get stuck in one or two of them, long after the correlating situation is long gone. Challenging situations in life can also be ongoing and without some way of managing our emotional responses these situations can and do often get on top of us.

My favourite example to explain this is by looking at the liver and the lungs.

The Liver is damaged by anger and frustration, or conversely an unhealthy liver ( one fed with chips, refined sugar and alcohol for e.g.) creates the emotional state of anger and frustration. Either way over a prolonged period of time this unhappy liver consumes more energy than can be created by its pal the kidneys and the water element and this sets up the right conditions for fear to become the predominate emotional state.

As a side note this also very simply explains how some recreational drugs damage the liver and set up the conditions required for paranoia and other fear based behaviours.

Anyway I digress…. Where do we look to balance and mediate this grumpy liver syndrome? Across the way to the lungs of course! The lungs positioned where they are above the diaphragm and above the liver on the right hand side are in the perfect spot to massage the Liver into a much better frame of mind. Slow deep breathing, gentle exercise or yoga is the ideal way to nourish this controlling cycle and re create balance in the five elements. Now I have to admit a grumpy person is not as likely to respond so well to …. darling do some downward dog…… but maybe a house rule of “walk off the grump” is a good idea?

The elements all work in their own way to regulate their counterpart;
The liver with its decisiveness and ability to create strong boundaries steps in when the the earth elements tendency to worry and obsess gets out of hand. The water element cools the fire of impatience with humility, this might be in the form of increased hydration or extra sleep, I mean, how hot headed are we when we’re over tired?
The stillness and meditative qualities of the spleen are helpful when managing an over worked water element. Remember this relates to will power and our adrenals. Each has its place and role in maintaing our overall emotional health, which in turn helps create our physical health and visa versa.

Keep this in mind next time you find yourself stuck in the rut of the same old emotional story running around our minds. Let the emotion move thorough you, and do what you can to support yourself.
(And feel free to let me know if any of this makes sense or if I need to do a little more explaining! )

Go Gently

K
x

Give me a ‘B’

 

 

Give me a B

Blogcademy Brisbane November 2013 


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So, The Blogcademy, wow it feels like a year ago not a short few weeks. Thats Gala Kat + Shauna above doing their thing sharing their hard won knowledge and inspiration on day one.

Leaving the venue (which was deluxe by the way Bleeding Heart Gallery) I felt like I had been shot out of a spakley super charged cannon and into the future. The future where I was redrafting my bio and about me page, writing for the first time ever my blogging business plan, setting goals and timelines and spending afternoons on photo shoots for future blogs… oh yeah and holding down my day job and creating content… somewhere in there has been some sleep and the occasional meal.

Before you call me out, no, I’m not complaining. Its only now that I stop to write about the experience I can see just how much I have been inspired in the most practical put- it- into- action- straight- away kind of way .

And this of course is the kind of practical magic I love. Give me inspo please, give me sparkles and style but don’t leave me hanging with a big question hanging over the how.. and I wasn’t disappointed here AT ALL

 

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That’d be me… with ears … its just how we roll.

Two whole days in a bloggers paradise. Where do I start?  Firstly I’ll start with how I felt because I felt so damn excited and not just in a ‘what will I learn’ kind of way. That of course was part of it but I felt excited in a way that hinted at a reinvention of myself like I’d been handed a big fat permission slip to be ALL of me, even the bits that I hadn’t quite worked out yet. Like the blogger bit of me, Yes?

People are shocked sometimes to hear that I’m an introvert and I associated quite strongly with that title. In amongst my closest friends I can be quite dramatic! So it was with a degree of nervousness that I turned up on the first day.  One of best things about  the ears.. beside the fact that they’re just amazing is that they instantly break the ice, you can be wild and fun and tap into that part of yourself that just really wants to GO THERE. And go there we did.

 

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My camera phone never left my hand! 

I could write for a month on things that I learnt and relearnt over the course of the two days but heres 2 short lists.

Things that I have been working feverishly on since Blodcademy

1.Writing writing writing!! I have 3 or 4 note books scattered around the apartment filled with hand written articles and inspo.

2.Getting up close and personal with my Bio and being real brave about sharing who I am and what I really really want to offer.

3.Tidiying up the visual noise, stream lining images and colours and design . This is the tricky stuff for me so I’ve had to learn to be kinda patient and ask for help .. its a process people!

 

 Things that have really rocked my world and will rock yours should you go in 2014 (and you should)

  1. Blogging is a business. Show up to work like you would any other job you want to be successful at.
  2. Hone your voice, get clear on your message and the people your speaking to and be unapologetically true to that voice.
  3. Have a Brand Audit – this is your visual voice. Get it clear.
  4. Nourish your muse, read outside your genre and make space regularly and with discipline and she will show up.
  5. Being generous giving value, adding joy and love to your readers life is the best marketing you can do.
  6. Invest in yourself!
  7. Sart before your ready and when you know better do better .

 

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Thanks to the Headmistresses I fell in love with the potential of who I can be, of who I am when I let down the saftety nets and think BIG and risk looking stupid on the off chance that actually I’ll just shine. (or look tired with a cupcake at the end of one epic weekend!)

These three women gave us a way of tapping into our super powers and rethinking that version of ourselves that we know all too well. We were given permission to shine, permission to stand out and have our say, we were given permission to wear sparkley ears through the mall in broad day light. To order sushi and juice and not bat an eye lid.  Just because.

 


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I want to marry all of you and live in a big sparkly pink house with all out pets…. well it would be fun for a week every year no? 

 

x

All photos except the tired cupcake courtesy of the wonderful Janneke Storm! www.jannekestorm.com

Qi follows the Yi – Part One

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Well tonight elemental travellers I am talking a little about the Earth element, and in keeping with this elements nature I am likely to wax a little lyrical!

 

The organs involved in the Earth element are the Stomach and Spleen. Now in the west, we know a fair bit about the stomach, practically, what it does and where it is and the fact that basically ‘its where all the food goes’ !

The Spleen on the other hand is a bit more of a mystery. Its usually the organ that in all those movies with a car crash people end up having taken out! “Ruptured Spleen! Get them to OR Stat”…… I may be getting a bit carried away here, but you get my drift.

The Spleen is on the left side of the body, just under the ribs beside the stomach and in Eastern Philosophy has just as important role in the function of digestion as the stomach, but is also involved in regulating the mind and a healthy sense of self.

 

The Spleen houses the Yi (pronounced eeee) and it can roughly be described as our sense of self, the self that exists in our mind, and is expressed in our thoughts.  Clarity of intention and thoughtful reflection are products of a healthy Yi.

And this is where healthy thoughts and digestion meet.

Our Earth element, the Yi and the Stomach and Spleen, are not only digesting the food we eat, but they are also digesting the thoughts and experiences we are having.

 

Quite literally our Qi (energy/fuel) goes where our thoughts are and those thoughts need to be ‘digested’ Now if we’re eating a meal, and we are watching TV, checking face book and listening to our spouse/ housemate/ children how much fuel is focused on the food that is going in and how much fuel is going on actually breaking down that meal to the best possible end result? Not a lot!

 

Now lets take it up a notch, we have had a really bad day at work and are feeling a whole range of emotions (that need digesting) we have scoffed a chocolate bar on the drive home to suppress those feelings (that needs digesting ) we are met at the door with a well meaning glass of wine (that needs digesting) followed by the above scenario involving some greasy take away pizza. Does anyone else feel tired? Your Spleen does!

 

The result of this is congested digestion but also congested thinking and depending on your build and constitution a whole range of symptoms might be experienced after a meal like this. Bloating, wind, and a heavy sluggish feeling along with a foggy mind and probably a desire to fall straight to sleep!

 

Life happens and sometimes rightly or wrongly we find ourselves multitasking. Sometimes this involves doing things while we’re eating.

 

In an ideal world we will get the best out of our food if we are mindful of it.

 And we will have clarity of thought and a peaceful mind if we are able to observe what else we are digesting in that process.

 

What can we practically do to assist this process?

 

1. Limit the things we are doing at meal times. Its proven that multitasking doesn’t actually result in higher productivity. Set aside even a small amount of time just to eat your food. This doesn’t have to be a silent zen affair as anyone with children will attest, just limit as much as possible the distractions!

2. Choose your food based on your mood, now this isn’t me saying to binge when your sad, rather just be aware of what else is happening for you. If your tired already, don’t sit down to a big heavy meal, quite simply it won’t get digested. If your emotional by all means eat comforting food, but these should be nourishing soups, roast veges, rice puddings. Food that supports you and won’t suppress the feelings we are often trying to escape from.

3. Eat according to season and source food thats as natural as possible. Food that is warm and lightly cooked is ideal to support the Earth element. Cold and raw foods tax the Earth element. (This statement will get its own blog people hang in there!)

4.Those ‘Spleeny’ Earth types out there will tend toward craving sweet foods, to maintain your healthy blood sugar levels, make these naturally sweet foods, not highly processed foods full of sugar.

5. Ginger tea in the morning is great to wake your digestive fire, and cinnamon is a beautiful herb to add to breakfasts and deserts.

 

When the Earth element is nourished with mindful eating the consistency applied to our digestion will cultivate a consistency and reliability in our state of mind. With our Earth element centred and grounded our thoughts have a solid foundation, and the actions that flow from these thoughts will be longer lasting.

 

So as a simple exercise for the week, observe your thinking and your eating. No judging. Just start watching where your mind is and how you are feeling at the time and where your mind is while your eating. Don’t take my word for it, observe this difference between a mindful meal, and one eaten on the run and let me know how you go.

 

x

K

 

 

Sex + Wealth + Self Esteem

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I have been sitting on this post for a long time. About a year actually. Its taken that long for me to be really sure there was a necessary message here and that I wasn’t coming from a reactive place, because for a long time I was. You see this is a pretty personal post, but one after a lot of deliberation I really want to share.

I woke up one day last year, to find myself in an abusive relationship. There,  I said it. Done.

The tricky thing is that I wasn’t just in one abusive relationship. I was in two. One with the man I was with and one with myself. I’ll let you sit with this for a moment because its an important thing to understand, that one couldn’t happen without the other. This has nothing to do with blame or fault or making things that aren’t ok, ok. Its about knowing what kind of environment things need to grow in.

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Let me give you a bit of a back story to this monumental day in my life, the day I set myself free from a lifetimes belief that bound me to thinking small, dreaming small and keeping myself playing small when in relationships… which is to say, all the time, forever since the beginning of time!

I’m not great at being in a relationship and taking care of myself… out of respect for your boredom and the people involved lets just let that sit as a happy generalisation. (No one got hurt in the making of that generalisation so we’re going to run with it)

But what I learnt that day is that I had been hard wired somehow to believe that within an intimate relationship I needed to play small, keep quiet, and restrict my fabulosity….to get my basic needs met.

Now just sit still for another sec and let that sink in….because it’s bloody ouchy yes?

Yes it is.

How had this happened? Where had this come from?

Well I’m not alone here I know but once again for the respect of all involved lets just say my childhood was a little tricky.

Its was also loving and wonderful, and awkward and dreadful but right now we’re talking about the tricky stuff ok? Stick with me!

One of the things I have retrospectively understood is that children growing up in abusive environments learn to make a whole bunch of stuff that isn’t ok .. ok.  Your a kid, someone else provides a roof over your head and puts food on the table and presents under the xmas tree. All these things and the stuff that isn’t ok are somehow linked in your child mind so you just make it ALL ok…. its the reality.

You learn real quick that to keep quiet, make it all ok and keep the peace is a really important skill and all this is linked to getting some basic needs met, and being loved…. thats also a really basic need BTW!

Gawd that’s heavy right?!!

Now many years later as a grown woman running her own business I’ve been busy working out how to ‘attract wealth’ and ‘manifest abundance’  …. you get the picture. For the first time instead of doing all the usual woo woo, om shanti courses I know and love…. I started taking some more mainstream business courses.

Now to say that I had some resistance to this is a MASSIVE understatement! But where there is resistance there is juice… so off I trotted. It turns out the bunch of people I was to do these courses with knew a thing or two, but still…. there was resistance.

 

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So back to the day of my aha moment.

Here I was noticing all this resistance to working through my stuff. To learning new ways to run my business and attract abundance in all its forms. I was also living in what I now affectionately call Fear Soup.

This unhealthy relationship I was in brought to my attention that I REALLY avoid at all costs ANYTHING (in relationships) that feels uncomfortable and will twist myself into all manner of pretzel shapes to avoid being in that uncomfortable situation. This usually includes playing small, ‘keeping nice’ and experiencing what ever unacceptable behaviour comes my way to keep the peace.

Now as anyone with any experience in ‘woo woo ‘ practices will know, that until you GET the lesson, the universe will keep sending you a bigger and louder version of the lesson you are refusing to see.

So I continued to live in Fear Soup and the incidents of scary totally not ok behaviour escalated and my abusive relationship with myself continued.

Let me be really clear here that by referring to my relationship with myself I am not making anything that isn’t ok ok.

If your reading this and your in an unsafe situation

and there are things happening in your life that your not ok with.

Then they are NOT ok.

Period.

For me in writing this and recognising the internal environment that I had going on lets me step away from the duality of victim and perpetrator. I’m not interested in that model at all. AT ALL. By acknowledging my beliefs and experiences I get to be self empowered and thats a pretty big deal.

 So things finally got to the point where I was so emotionally uncomfortable that I had no where else to go but to feel the discomfort I was in. I remember that I could barely even sit still. I couldn’t meditate,  I couldn’t write. I had numbed out totally in a bid to avoid feeling what was going on for me and what was getting louder and more obviously not ok in my relationship.

Then one day there was no where else to run and the discomfort of not feeling was suddenly more uncomfortable than feeling. So finally I just sat with being very uncomfortable and scared and not knowing….. and I didn’t even have to do it for very long until…. Shazam!

I uncovered that little gem of a belief that says its ok to be treated like crap and to play small as long as someone says they love you and are going to provide for you. This had lived in my brain for all these years kept ‘safe’ by the fact that I was never going to go near it as it was so damn uncomfortable! You starting to see how this all works? How these beliefs protect themselves, yes?

I saw very clearly why I would have been attracted to this particular relationship and that truly the only way for me to uncover this limiting belief was to blow it up nice and large with surround sound so I would see it for what it is.

Money, safety, self worth and the belief that I am enough and worthy of love free of charge with no catch with no need to fix, salvage, or experience abuse are all wrapped up in one rather warped little package….. or I should say WERE wrapped up.

So now this is a pretty damn big deal…. I mean a really big deal, this I think truly was the most freeing moment of my life, no kidding. Whilst its all very fabulous to broadcast ones AHA moments on the interweb for the entire planet to witness I’m not really that much of an extrovert and this is a REALLY sensitive topic. As I said earlier I have sat on this post for a long time and its continued to blink at me, waiting for the time to be right, why? Well I think its because  as women in business heck as women full stop we need to be having more open conversations like this. Conversations with more options available to us other than, victim and perpetrator.

As a woman I am by no means alone in these links, assumptions and beliefs, and so long as they are running unchecked in your subconscious (my/our subconscious)…. they are running the show, THE. WHOLE. SHOW. setting the bar for how much your going to be valued (regardless of how many attract wealth courses you do) and how well your going to be treated, by yourself as well as others.

I have conversations around these topics all the time with my coaching clients, because to truly shine and be all of you unrestricted by these beliefs we need to go digging a little. Not all the time. Not until your ready.

Another push to publish this post was a reading a blog from a new author @KateNorthrup. I have inhaled with delight her first book #moneyalovestory. Its just divine. In it she talks about these sorts of associations we have with money and self worth and the physical symptoms that  can show up and certainly did for me. It was a bittersweet moment of validation as a I read her book and in it the whispered words of encouragement … share your story, it has value…..

For me there is a very large space now that needs to be filled with healthy values about self respect and self love and self worth that will set the tone for all transactions and currencies in my future. Within relationships, work settings, heavens even the pricing on the content of my work hinges on these beliefs.

Before we can go setting the new programs, we have to dig deep, we have to be prepared to sit still in the uncomfortable places with ourselves and reveal whats underlying our experiences that is helping to create such a dysfunctional reality. (Be that the bullying boss the abusive spouse or financial situation that despite ‘all the right things’ just isn’t budging )

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So my situation eventually improved. I managed to extricate myself out of the relationship I was in. None too gracefully I might add! I didn’t talk about it for quite some time. For those people who weren’t in my closest Goddess Circle who knew the situation, it looked like I was walking away from the perfect relationship. Thats how these things work. But now a year down the track, I comfort myself with the understanding that on a soul level we had an agreement. That he would treat me is such an appalling way so I would learn the most important lesson of my life. Thats how I see it now. Trust is slow to rebuild. Those synapses are slow to transform, but I’m getting there. And so will you gorgeous reader. I know you will. Be brave, be bold. Value yourself ok, ’cause your so damn loveable. Yes you are!

xx

K

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“Here is your sign” (said the universe to the human)

I had a day not so long ago, that simply looked like this ……..

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I know I’m not alone.

I know it won’t be the last day I experience that overwhelming hectic paced busy mind. So busy and noisy that I wondered not once but probably a million times that day that maybe I might just go crazy. So on this day when my mind was a scribble of noise and clashing thoughts, I still did the laundry. I still walked the dog. I still went to work.

And all the while the noise raged on. And on. And on.

I spent the day watching this noise in what I believed was a detached albeit very frustrated way. Like someone had left the TV on with my most disliked show playing on endless repeat and I couldn’t switch it off. At all. Ever. It was exhausting.

As I was leaving work that night my mind raged on. I walked to the car park through the open field into the night. I reached the car park where it was lit but the dark night sky extended above me.

I was alone.

I sighed a big outloud exasperated sigh and pondered to myself how on Earth I was meant to create my magical world with my mind going over and over all the possible disastrous things that were of course in its worse case scenario setting going to happen to me. I wondered in that way where you can have what feels like one hundred thoughts in a split second. Thoughts become things Keri I thought to myself. Thoughts become things. And I sighed again and and thought out aloud.

Give. Me. A. Sign.

 

 

And this is what happened …….

Looking for a sign

Credit:Huffington Post

I couldn’t make this up if I tried. Before the word ‘sign’ was completely out of my mouth a star shot across the sky. It took about 5 seconds to finish its journey. Thats not a short amount of time, count it out now if you like.

One thousand, two thousand, three thousand, four thousand, five thousand.  It had a tail and everything!

My mouth was literally hanging open and I’m pretty sure I swore out loud to no one but the universe in particular. That’s the classy sort of gal I am.

And my mind was quiet.

 

I still get goosebumps thinking about this night as I write this. I don’t pretend to know exactly what the sign was for, but I’m guessing for me it means I’m not alone, I am loved, there is a point to all of it.

I remember thinking that here I was watching light that has made its way across the galaxy, witnessing something indescribable that probably happened aeons ago….. what are we all doing here on planet Earth if not witnessing each others light?

What I learnt that night though, was that you get the best view from a distant vantage point, so don’t doubt for one second Gorgeous One that your light is wasted, that its not seen, not bright enough or important enough. Your magic is being witnessed.

If your looking for a sign, waiting to be given the magical green light. Then this is it. GO!.

Shine your starlight .

x

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