Wild – 3 Ways to Nourish your Inner Wild Woman

 

 

Wild was my guiding word for this year, and for most of this year honestly I’ve wondered if I could’ve chosen an less appropriate word. It feels like my most domesticated year to date.

I have traveled less, worked less and spent more time in the same four walls than I thought possible (and lovingly so.)

Navigating co-habitation and relationship and business transition has not been easy though.

Yes, my life from the outside looks much more like our society says it’s best to; I live in great comfort and I know a lot of people that love me have breathed a sigh of relief ‘to see me happy’ .

(Which is quite a strange and loaded statement for me to hear really as I look back on the last 3 years of my life especially as some of the happiest and most successful to date.)

But back to wild, and it has me wondering, how I associate this word with freedom, and creativity and on focusing on my own needs and my own inner animal nature.

I have to say that it most definitely was easier as a single woman running her own business living on her own to navigate and prioritise my own needs.

Truthfully it wasn’t even in question.

But for most women the second that someone else’s needs come into the mix it becomes problematic, now problematic is my word, you might have a descriptor that is softer and less… problematic.

But that is how it feels to me and so it’s been a time of navigating the extremes of my nature, my ‘and and’ desire to be both sides of the coin at once.

My desire to be at home running a bath at the same time as my passport and my suitcase are packed and ready, eyes on the horizon.

My inner animal, the wild space I retreat to internally has been most affected by my evolving circumstances and it’s in this internal space that I am returning to most often lately to make my decisions forward.

Because she is the one that left unattended has the power to wreak the most havoc.

Her wild wisdom accessed and integrated is sublime.

Think synchronicity, manifesting, good health, sensuality and boundaries.

Ignore her intuition, deny her space, tell her to be less dramatic and more palatable and she will bring your world to it’s knees and burn everything to the ground.

And no I am not being overly dramatic here.

Every woman (and perhaps some men) reading this who have navigated divorce, illness, or the kind of bewildering unexpected life change that revealed great chasms in their inner world of beliefs, values and habits knows exactly what I am referring to.

So whilst my personal life path isn’t really that unorthodox, even my simple life, childless by choice and for many years single would have a few hundred years ago seen me burnt at the stake.

As such I have long accepted my path forward is one I will need to create myself with the intention of modeling these options to the women coming up behind me.

It is not  the actual choices I have made themselves that other women should copy, not at all, but the reality that there are other ways to live your feminine life.

There are almost always other choices that aren’t on the menu you were given.

You just have to be wild enough to request them and be stubborn enough to stand your ground and know your value of them.

 

So perhaps this year of wild is more about uncovering the ways in which I need to nourish my inner wild landscape and clear out what get’s in the way.

That perhaps as I enter the start of another cycle of seven I have been choosing my co-ordinates carefully, and as I have listened, my wild animal has shared with me three things I need to do to support her and I think they might help you too.

1.Claim your rite to age in your own wild crafted, free range way.

At 43 when the collective would have me clutching at my ovaries fist flailing at the sky spending so much of my precious time energy and resources on grasping at plump youthful ness I’m taking my middle finger directive and letting it guide me.  I have nothing against looking my best, taking my supplements, aligning a few down dogs and soaking in the premium lotions my privileged lifestyle affords.  But I want to be part of a culture where aging is more than just ‘looking good for my age’ or appearing youthful because these things acknowledge beauty in spite of aging, not as a result of the lived experience now visible on the outside. One of the most radical things I believe I (and we) can do is to visibly age and stay in touch with my sensuality, intellect and power on my own terms.

2. Create your own map for relating.

I choose to create a unique and constantly evolving model of being in relationship. (There are no cookie cutters in our house)

I am fortunate to enjoy friendships spanning many age brackets and I see a lot of gorgeous Gen Y’s navigating the nuclear family in ways that blow my mind. But for many and most of my generation we need to rethink what we have been told is the only way. We need to be open to creating loving relationships that are created from the inside out, from the needs of the people in them and not from the desire to fit into a model that no longer works for most of us.

3. Most importantly we need to take space.

To take UP space and to have space. This is the one that I think undoes us the most, and certainly I find the most challenging.

Taking a month last year to go on retreat in Bali has given me a visceral embodied experience that goes beyond the simple sum of the parts of rest, food and yoga.

It’s changed the way I give myself permission to claim what I need. It’s helped me apologise less and speak out more boldly to hold space for my clients.

This space though will be different for each of us, and taking time and giving yourself permission to discover what you might need is the first step. This is something I lovingly guide women through in my coaching programs.

 

Women are hungering for the way showers the gate keepers (and the accidental first responders that I often feel like I am,) to model the change I believe is the way forward.

We’re going to get some of this wrong.

We’re going to look around for someone to show us the way and realise that right now we might be it.

 

So please feel me when I say

Wild Woman follow your soul path.

The one less paved,

The one strewn with flowers and fallen branches

Across pebbled beaches And spacious internal fire.

x

How to know when it’s time to let go of your work.

Rockupuncture, Acupuncture, Sydney Essential Health, Keri Krieger,

This is Keri from 2008, she had just created Rockupuncture and it was about to create a whole new life for her, but first it was going to burn everything to the ground. Dramatic but true.

 

Around the middle of last year I acknowledged a feeling that I had been having for quite a while;

That my Sydney Rockupuncture roadshow’s were on the way out. I don’t have to wait for something to be flunking, to be unenjoyable or to be a grind to know that it’s time to go.

It’s ok to part on friendly terms.

AND as you might know by now, I’m a pretty intuitive woman and I just had the FEELS.

It was time.

So I did what any self respecting sensible intelligent person would do, and ignored all of this completely!

This is because I have such a great amount of emotion and gratitude attached to Sydney and my time with my clients over the last 9 years.

NINE. YEARS!

I first flew down to treat at Sydney Essential Health at the end of 2009. A guest from Lifestyle Health Retreat, Gwinganna who was an acupuncturist at SEH said before she left the retreat, “you should come to Sydney” and then another guest asked me when I was coming down so she could book in and then all of a sudden I was in Sydney working!

It was that fast and that simple.

I learnt on the run, created a mailing list, trademarked my modality name, and I was off!

I can not truly tell you, just how grateful I am to all my clients for letting me into their lives and trusting me with their health and hearts. What I might not ever have let on in my desire to be professional is just how big a cross roads all this was for me.

I was newly divorced, and newly creating my own business. It was epic to say the least.

I was literally reinventing myself and Sydney played a very big part in that.

The other people that I need to thank (while this is turning into an oscars speech!) is Carol and Neville, my Sydney ‘parents’ that once upon a time were ‘just clients’ .

I don’t have the space here to go into just how much their generosity and love has transformed my world and made my practice in Sydney possible.

I turned up on their doorstep, declared myself their long lost eldest daughter and spent 6 weekends a year in their spare room!

It blows my mind that this modality landed in my heart and hands and it went on to pay the rent, the pet insurance, took me to New York, Chiva Som in Thailand and introduced me to almost all the magical people that are in my life today.

I know some of you reading this are going through your own reinvention and it can feel terrifying to wonder just how it’s all going to work out. It will I promise.

Maybe not in the way you think it will, but it will.

So I’ll get to the crunch shall I? The feeling that I was avoiding continued to get bigger, and I couldn’t avoid it any longer. So I employed a technique that I hope you might be able to use in your life too;

I wrote to ‘Rockupuncture’ as if she was an entity (which she kind of is)

Now if this sounds a little weird hang in there. It’s a really helpful psychological tool to let a different element of yourself or a usually inanimate situation express their purpose to you.

And here is some of what she said….. “ It’s been an honour to serve you and care for and provide for you. I need a break now and so do you. Let your starlight guide you. Let your wild heart out of her tethers now it’s safe. I’m no longer the right container for what you’re offering. It’s natural to cling to what we know and while you are truly out in deep waters now, look down and you might see you’ve grown fins since you last looked.” I can’t deny any of that. It feels so true, (if a little cryptic!)

Nature abhors a vacuum and while I would dearly love to know all the answers ahead of time I have to trust that whatever is coming next needs the space I am creating, whilst sending Rockupuncture off with immense gratitude.

I didn’t realise just how emotional I would feel making this announcement. It’s a creative chapter of my life that’s coming to an end, but I am already wondering what I will create that will take me back to Sydney more often.. or perhaps to Melbourne to those neglected folk who have still been asking me when I’m coming back.

Stay tuned.

 

And know that if you have a situation in your life that is in transition and you’re wondering what it might say if it could speak that this tool will work for you too.

Let me know how it goes

 

 

x

 

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Wholehearted love – my conversation on the Unbreakable podcast

Late last year I was thrilled to be asked to share my story on Nicole Mathieson’s Unbreakable podcast.

Nicole is a kinesiologist and confidence coach who guides her clients back to their heart so they can build a life of deep fulfilment and contentment.

We delved into how I got where I am today, from that first inkling that something wasn’t right to the upheaval and exploration that led me here.
You can listen to our chat here.

My love letter to Fear


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Fear we are often told is something that we need to get the better of, we need to conquer and be in charge of and sometimes this might be true. Liz Gilbert has a wonderful conversation with fear here. But what if occasionally when we feel fear taking hold we sat down and had a chat and listened to this very primal instinct. What might we say to make it listen and quiet down?

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Don’t Panic about turning 40 – 6 ways to keep your 40th birthday in perspective

Turning 40 imageOn August the 5th in a few weeks time I will have been here on planet Earth for 40 years.

Turning 40 for most women is a big crazy cue to have a complete breakdown and start questioning their lives and everything they have ever done. I’ve seen it many times which is why as I approach my own 40th I’m keeping things in perspective.

I’m treating it as a pretty amazing privilege that not all people get to experience, and I am choosing my language very carefully. and not 40. I have simply been here for 40 years. The ageing process of our bodies is not exclusively tied to the years you spend spinning around the sun, its just one factor.

Here’s 6 things that I am being mindful of as I approach my birthday to keep the crazy at bay.

 

1. Gratitude

Seriously when did we get all hung up about being past it and not express gratitude and amazement at the fact that we get to live a big long gloriously full life? Start a gratitude diary or before you go to sleep each night cast your mind over 3 things that your grateful for.

2. Don’t compare

Your unique life journey and your unique set of skills and experiences aren’t going to look like anyone else’s. Every book on the shelf of life is a TOTALLY different story. Own this and back the heroine in yours… she’s doing a great job! It has been helpful to remind myself of what I truly value and see how I am cultivating these things in my life. My commitment to Love is no exception.

3. Ignore the popular cultural stereotype we are often sold.

I went looking on pinterest last night and searched turning forty positive. Do you know how many pins I found. One. Thats right, in all of pinterest town there is ONE pin that puts a positive spin on turning 40. So I dug a bit deeper and found this little gem from Sheryl Crow and even she was struggling! Look away from all the memes telling you that its all over and find some inspirational women your age doing great things and keeping it real. They can be famous like Megan Gale and Angelina Jolie, both turning 40 this year or gorgeous women in your circle who are creating their own reality of the aging process.

4. So you didn’t have a baby.

Your worth as a woman and a human isn’t determined on this event. (Despite the social pressure of epic proportions) There will be many reasons that this wasn’t in your life path. There may be a great deal of grief over this for lots of different reasons. I know for myself that even though its been a conscious choice of mine not to have babies there is still a sense of grieving those alternate life possibilities that never eventuated. Let yourself have this process. Your unfolding into a new phase of your life, and its going to be delicious!

5. Check in with your limiting beliefs.

Yes there are different stages and phases in our lives where our priorities change and our bodies work differently. We need to take good care of our health for sure, but be gently and lovingly aware of what you may be telling yourself. Many of these beliefs may not even be yours. This interview with Dr Christine Northrup discusses just this.

I recall a conversation with a girlfriend of mine two years ago discussing the fact that bang on 40th her eyesight went. She proclaimed with such commitment that that is just what happens. Everyone she knew got glasses on their 40th birthday and that was that. With a big sigh she told me to wait and see. Well see I am and instead of checking my eyesight I’m checking in with my beliefs. (I’m not an affiliate of this book and yes its a 20 min video but the gems of wisdom from Dr Northrup are PRICELESS)

 


6. Take the pressure down.

Really.

So for anyone in this age bracket and especially us Aussies… this should really make you laugh. 1 for its oh so cheesy iconic 80’s references and 2 because its truth, sad, tacky, 80’s truth.

All the ‘by now I should haves’… or worse ‘at my age its all over’… enough!

Take. The. Pressure. DOWN.

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Single by choice or circumstance, know that love and connection is always available to us.

The sun the moon and the stars are still ours to orbit with.

The pull of the tides ours to travel on.

Keep your heart wide open your boundaries intact, your love clearly visible of all to see shining through our eyes.

Ours is a different story.

Sing your song with pride.

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