My Venusian Self Love List – Four Resources You Will Love

Straight Woo

Venus Retrograde happens every 18 months or so. If you’ve never heard about this before you can you can read more at this sight here. Basically it’s a revisionary phase of the planet that rules love, fashion, art, commerce and values.

This year it went retrograde in the sign of Scorpio, which brought a deeper, darker and more emotional component to it.

As I wrote on Instagram back in October

“This mirrors the classic story of Inannas descent into the underworld. She is also knowns by the name of Persephone. A quick google search will send you down a rabbit hole of discovery if you’re not familiar with this story cycle.

It is a powerful one for every woman to be familiar with.

This will be a time of reclaiming the seed of new growth from the darkness and pain in our hearts. It’s a time of recalibrating hope to navigate us in a health self loving direction.  Whether you are looking for love, healing your self love story your money story or deep diving into you Feminine beliefs now is a very powerful time. ”

I have noticed that over the last few years really big shifts in perspective friendships and relationships have happened during Venus retrograde, including the classic pop up appearances of exes (not to be encouraged!) and old friends coming to visit (definitely a highlight!) So this year I was ready to use this 6 week transit to consciously take a deep dive with the Goddess of love, and get clear on my values, how I treat myself, and deepen my relationship with the divine feminine.

Across the 6 weeks of Venus Retrograde;

I took two online self care courses (one my own!)

Travelled for 3 weeks to the UK to visit with girlfriends I’ve known almost all my life and Greece to attend a feminine tantric yoga retreat “Huntress of Pleasure” .

After a year of a lot of transition and foundation laying it was wonderful to take time to get really clear about what I value, the importance of the feminine relationships in my life and anchoring into practices that support my daily self care, whilst still being in the world.

Venus was definitely having her way with me.

At the end I will share 4 free resources that have come from these experiences and become the pillars of my self care practice.

I started this transit off with the second round of my online course Boundaried

Working my way through the 21 days with this group was such a beautiful gift. The coaching calls were full of such simple and powerful gems for the women attending and watching on the play back.

On Day Fifteen I talk about giving ourselves permission to ask for help and knowing how and who to do that with. This includes creating safe and nourishing support circles in our lives. Women are not meant to live in total isolation. Patriarchy has had us pitched against each other for the very reason that we are so very powerful when we support and respect each other.

There are many wounds to heal here, and the power of self forgiveness and the very real experience of feeling the support of other women during the course so far has been beautiful to witness.

It was with my heart full of the call of sisterhood that I flew to London. I wrote about it here.

What I will say time and again is that time spent with women I adore, both new and known is so deeply healing.

Investing time and money to cross oceans to say ” I love you and I miss you, thank you for seeing me,” will be the best money you will ever spend. Hands down.

And if you think these kinds of friendships and connections are out of your reach think again dear sister. Attend a circle in your area, join an online forum, join a meet up, there will be hits and misses but we are out there.

Somewhere in the middle of all this I began the beautiful course Radiate by Claire Baker.  If you haven’t heard of her please do yourself a favour and head over to her page and down load her free cycle charts. You won’t look back!

As an acupuncturist of 18 years it would be so easy (and incorrect) to say that I know as much as I need to know about hormones and periods and all things lady garden. I’m so delighted that I took this course.  What I know to be true is that even if you ‘know’ a technical piece of information, there will always be nuances and subtleties that different people will bring to the topic, and new layers for you to gain another level of understanding on.

Claire has such a way with how she shares all the information offered.  I found my self feeling and sensing new elements to my own cycle and my relationship with my wombspace that I am still integrating. There was so much I loved about this course, the meditations especially helped me sink into the wisdom my body was wanting to offer me.

Improving how I access my inner cycles has been super helpful in planning out how I work, and not getting bogged down in those days that see mood and energy swinging wildly.

The 10 days that I spent on the Island of Amorgos attending the Huntress of Pleasure retreat hosted by Devashi Shakti were deep and transformative. I will write much (much) more on this soon.

Amorgos was the island that the famed Circe of Greek Legend was said to be exiled on. It was the site also of an ancient water priestess oracle, which now of course has a church built over it. (The sacred spring prevails)  The beauty and magic of the place is undeniably nourishing.

The week was structured around morning feminine yoga practice, meals eaten in sacred silence, tantric body work in the afternoons and meditation in the evenings. Sacred silence was maintained for the majority of the day with the exception of a couple of hours when we were in circle in the mornings.

What this practically meant is that we couldn’t use idle, superficial chit chat and intellectual distraction to distance ourselves from how we were feeling and we couldn’t engage in habits of counselling or fixing with other women. It also gave us permission to KEEP  all the energy generated in the course of practices for our own restoration and nourishment. It was a gorgeous and necessary respite from lives that are usually focused on service and care of our clients, family and communities.

So here are the 4 practices that I feel you will love exploring and integrating into your self care practice. 

Silence

Seriously this cannot be underestimated and is definitely something I will be exploring more in my daily life. It might be a solo day at home or a morning in silence before work and I  really enjoyed the silence premenstrually.

Even if it feels beyond you, I’d invite you experiment with just being silent until after breakfast on a Sunday morning or choosing a time in your week that will cause the least inconvenience and give yourself a few hours of space. The benefits are not speculative and have been proven to help brain cell renewal, hormone regulation and decreases in stress.

Journalling Your Menstrual Cycle

This practice came out of Claires course, and it’s something she also talks about in her Socials.  There are a number of ways she suggests to journal through your cycle. The one I have been playing with is where in a separate journal you take 28 (or more) pages and dedicated each page to a day in your cycle, then rule the page into 4 pieces so across the passage of 4 months you will see 4 versions of each day at a glance and be able to observe patterns and reoccurring themes.

Now I have been hit and miss with getting into the ritual of this, but I am continuing with it as I am now heading into my second month of journalling this way and I am seeing lots of reoccurring themes and patterns. There are still some days that are blank (hello inner summer) but there has been some beautifully tender days that when I look back on exactly the same day in my previous cycle there have been similar feelings, ideas and desires occurring.

This has been so helpful in inviting myself to be more compassionate for where I am at and I imagine in the future I will be able to clearly see the ebb and flow of energy and even plan self care, days off, and work around this information.

Values

I am ALWAYS banging on about knowing what your values are. It is such an essential element to getting clear about what’s important to you, why that is and in turn helps you understand how to make decisions that will serve you best and support you to make discerning choices. This free online questionnaire here is a great start.  

I am not in any way affiliated with this group, they will ask for your email to send you the feed back which is comprehensive and helpful. You can read more on values on Wiki here

I dive into knowing your values in all my mentoring work and in Boundaried also. As we evolve and our lives change so too will our values grow and evolve.

Boundaried Self Care Phone Tree 

The last resource I would like to offer you is the self care “Phone Tree”

It is one of the resources in Boundaried. I borrowed the idea from the movie Practical Magic. It is one of my all time fave movies and included in the course curriculum!

The phone tree in the film contained all the names and numbers of the women at school to call in case of emergency.  So too your self care phone tree has all the practices, people and resources you know can help. Again it sounds obvious right? The thing is though that the moment we become stressed or find ourselves in a panic a reminder and a simple grounded list of what to do next is one of the most simple and helpful things we can offer ourselves.

Download your phone tree fillable PDF here.

The way we integrate, interpret and work with any process is always going to be a very individual process. It is my intention here that you explore these ways to support yourself and find what works for you.

As always I would love to hear how this unfolds for you.

Keri

x

Wild – 3 Ways to Nourish your Inner Wild Woman

 

 

Wild was my guiding word for this year, and for most of this year honestly I’ve wondered if I could’ve chosen an less appropriate word. It feels like my most domesticated year to date.

I have traveled less, worked less and spent more time in the same four walls than I thought possible (and lovingly so.)

Navigating co-habitation and relationship and business transition has not been easy though.

Yes, my life from the outside looks much more like our society says it’s best to; I live in great comfort and I know a lot of people that love me have breathed a sigh of relief ‘to see me happy’ .

(Which is quite a strange and loaded statement for me to hear really as I look back on the last 3 years of my life especially as some of the happiest and most successful to date.)

But back to wild, and it has me wondering, how I associate this word with freedom, and creativity and on focusing on my own needs and my own inner animal nature.

I have to say that it most definitely was easier as a single woman running her own business living on her own to navigate and prioritise my own needs.

Truthfully it wasn’t even in question.

But for most women the second that someone else’s needs come into the mix it becomes problematic, now problematic is my word, you might have a descriptor that is softer and less… problematic.

But that is how it feels to me and so it’s been a time of navigating the extremes of my nature, my ‘and and’ desire to be both sides of the coin at once.

My desire to be at home running a bath at the same time as my passport and my suitcase are packed and ready, eyes on the horizon.

My inner animal, the wild space I retreat to internally has been most affected by my evolving circumstances and it’s in this internal space that I am returning to most often lately to make my decisions forward.

Because she is the one that left unattended has the power to wreak the most havoc.

Her wild wisdom accessed and integrated is sublime.

Think synchronicity, manifesting, good health, sensuality and boundaries.

Ignore her intuition, deny her space, tell her to be less dramatic and more palatable and she will bring your world to it’s knees and burn everything to the ground.

And no I am not being overly dramatic here.

Every woman (and perhaps some men) reading this who have navigated divorce, illness, or the kind of bewildering unexpected life change that revealed great chasms in their inner world of beliefs, values and habits knows exactly what I am referring to.

So whilst my personal life path isn’t really that unorthodox, even my simple life, childless by choice and for many years single would have a few hundred years ago seen me burnt at the stake.

As such I have long accepted my path forward is one I will need to create myself with the intention of modeling these options to the women coming up behind me.

It is not  the actual choices I have made themselves that other women should copy, not at all, but the reality that there are other ways to live your feminine life.

There are almost always other choices that aren’t on the menu you were given.

You just have to be wild enough to request them and be stubborn enough to stand your ground and know your value of them.

 

So perhaps this year of wild is more about uncovering the ways in which I need to nourish my inner wild landscape and clear out what get’s in the way.

That perhaps as I enter the start of another cycle of seven I have been choosing my co-ordinates carefully, and as I have listened, my wild animal has shared with me three things I need to do to support her and I think they might help you too.

1.Claim your rite to age in your own wild crafted, free range way.

At 43 when the collective would have me clutching at my ovaries fist flailing at the sky spending so much of my precious time energy and resources on grasping at plump youthful ness I’m taking my middle finger directive and letting it guide me.  I have nothing against looking my best, taking my supplements, aligning a few down dogs and soaking in the premium lotions my privileged lifestyle affords.  But I want to be part of a culture where aging is more than just ‘looking good for my age’ or appearing youthful because these things acknowledge beauty in spite of aging, not as a result of the lived experience now visible on the outside. One of the most radical things I believe I (and we) can do is to visibly age and stay in touch with my sensuality, intellect and power on my own terms.

2. Create your own map for relating.

I choose to create a unique and constantly evolving model of being in relationship. (There are no cookie cutters in our house)

I am fortunate to enjoy friendships spanning many age brackets and I see a lot of gorgeous Gen Y’s navigating the nuclear family in ways that blow my mind. But for many and most of my generation we need to rethink what we have been told is the only way. We need to be open to creating loving relationships that are created from the inside out, from the needs of the people in them and not from the desire to fit into a model that no longer works for most of us.

3. Most importantly we need to take space.

To take UP space and to have space. This is the one that I think undoes us the most, and certainly I find the most challenging.

Taking a month last year to go on retreat in Bali has given me a visceral embodied experience that goes beyond the simple sum of the parts of rest, food and yoga.

It’s changed the way I give myself permission to claim what I need. It’s helped me apologise less and speak out more boldly to hold space for my clients.

This space though will be different for each of us, and taking time and giving yourself permission to discover what you might need is the first step. This is something I lovingly guide women through in my coaching programs.

 

Women are hungering for the way showers the gate keepers (and the accidental first responders that I often feel like I am,) to model the change I believe is the way forward.

We’re going to get some of this wrong.

We’re going to look around for someone to show us the way and realise that right now we might be it.

 

So please feel me when I say

Wild Woman follow your soul path.

The one less paved,

The one strewn with flowers and fallen branches

Across pebbled beaches And spacious internal fire.

x

How to know when it’s time to let go of your work.

Rockupuncture, Acupuncture, Sydney Essential Health, Keri Krieger,

This is Keri from 2008, she had just created Rockupuncture and it was about to create a whole new life for her, but first it was going to burn everything to the ground. Dramatic but true.

 

Around the middle of last year I acknowledged a feeling that I had been having for quite a while;

That my Sydney Rockupuncture roadshow’s were on the way out. I don’t have to wait for something to be flunking, to be unenjoyable or to be a grind to know that it’s time to go.

It’s ok to part on friendly terms.

AND as you might know by now, I’m a pretty intuitive woman and I just had the FEELS.

It was time.

So I did what any self respecting sensible intelligent person would do, and ignored all of this completely!

This is because I have such a great amount of emotion and gratitude attached to Sydney and my time with my clients over the last 9 years.

NINE. YEARS!

I first flew down to treat at Sydney Essential Health at the end of 2009. A guest from Lifestyle Health Retreat, Gwinganna who was an acupuncturist at SEH said before she left the retreat, “you should come to Sydney” and then another guest asked me when I was coming down so she could book in and then all of a sudden I was in Sydney working!

It was that fast and that simple.

I learnt on the run, created a mailing list, trademarked my modality name, and I was off!

I can not truly tell you, just how grateful I am to all my clients for letting me into their lives and trusting me with their health and hearts. What I might not ever have let on in my desire to be professional is just how big a cross roads all this was for me.

I was newly divorced, and newly creating my own business. It was epic to say the least.

I was literally reinventing myself and Sydney played a very big part in that.

The other people that I need to thank (while this is turning into an oscars speech!) is Carol and Neville, my Sydney ‘parents’ that once upon a time were ‘just clients’ .

I don’t have the space here to go into just how much their generosity and love has transformed my world and made my practice in Sydney possible.

I turned up on their doorstep, declared myself their long lost eldest daughter and spent 6 weekends a year in their spare room!

It blows my mind that this modality landed in my heart and hands and it went on to pay the rent, the pet insurance, took me to New York, Chiva Som in Thailand and introduced me to almost all the magical people that are in my life today.

I know some of you reading this are going through your own reinvention and it can feel terrifying to wonder just how it’s all going to work out. It will I promise.

Maybe not in the way you think it will, but it will.

So I’ll get to the crunch shall I? The feeling that I was avoiding continued to get bigger, and I couldn’t avoid it any longer. So I employed a technique that I hope you might be able to use in your life too;

I wrote to ‘Rockupuncture’ as if she was an entity (which she kind of is)

Now if this sounds a little weird hang in there. It’s a really helpful psychological tool to let a different element of yourself or a usually inanimate situation express their purpose to you.

And here is some of what she said….. “ It’s been an honour to serve you and care for and provide for you. I need a break now and so do you. Let your starlight guide you. Let your wild heart out of her tethers now it’s safe. I’m no longer the right container for what you’re offering. It’s natural to cling to what we know and while you are truly out in deep waters now, look down and you might see you’ve grown fins since you last looked.” I can’t deny any of that. It feels so true, (if a little cryptic!)

Nature abhors a vacuum and while I would dearly love to know all the answers ahead of time I have to trust that whatever is coming next needs the space I am creating, whilst sending Rockupuncture off with immense gratitude.

I didn’t realise just how emotional I would feel making this announcement. It’s a creative chapter of my life that’s coming to an end, but I am already wondering what I will create that will take me back to Sydney more often.. or perhaps to Melbourne to those neglected folk who have still been asking me when I’m coming back.

Stay tuned.

 

And know that if you have a situation in your life that is in transition and you’re wondering what it might say if it could speak that this tool will work for you too.

Let me know how it goes

 

 

x

 

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Wholehearted love – my conversation on the Unbreakable podcast

Late last year I was thrilled to be asked to share my story on Nicole Mathieson’s Unbreakable podcast.

Nicole is a kinesiologist and confidence coach who guides her clients back to their heart so they can build a life of deep fulfilment and contentment.

We delved into how I got where I am today, from that first inkling that something wasn’t right to the upheaval and exploration that led me here.
You can listen to our chat here.

My love letter to Fear


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Fear we are often told is something that we need to get the better of, we need to conquer and be in charge of and sometimes this might be true. Liz Gilbert has a wonderful conversation with fear here. But what if occasionally when we feel fear taking hold we sat down and had a chat and listened to this very primal instinct. What might we say to make it listen and quiet down?

Read More

Don’t Panic about turning 40 – 6 ways to keep your 40th birthday in perspective

Turning 40 imageOn August the 5th in a few weeks time I will have been here on planet Earth for 40 years.

Turning 40 for most women is a big crazy cue to have a complete breakdown and start questioning their lives and everything they have ever done. I’ve seen it many times which is why as I approach my own 40th I’m keeping things in perspective.

I’m treating it as a pretty amazing privilege that not all people get to experience, and I am choosing my language very carefully. and not 40. I have simply been here for 40 years. The ageing process of our bodies is not exclusively tied to the years you spend spinning around the sun, its just one factor.

Here’s 6 things that I am being mindful of as I approach my birthday to keep the crazy at bay.

 

1. Gratitude

Seriously when did we get all hung up about being past it and not express gratitude and amazement at the fact that we get to live a big long gloriously full life? Start a gratitude diary or before you go to sleep each night cast your mind over 3 things that your grateful for.

2. Don’t compare

Your unique life journey and your unique set of skills and experiences aren’t going to look like anyone else’s. Every book on the shelf of life is a TOTALLY different story. Own this and back the heroine in yours… she’s doing a great job! It has been helpful to remind myself of what I truly value and see how I am cultivating these things in my life. My commitment to Love is no exception.

3. Ignore the popular cultural stereotype we are often sold.

I went looking on pinterest last night and searched turning forty positive. Do you know how many pins I found. One. Thats right, in all of pinterest town there is ONE pin that puts a positive spin on turning 40. So I dug a bit deeper and found this little gem from Sheryl Crow and even she was struggling! Look away from all the memes telling you that its all over and find some inspirational women your age doing great things and keeping it real. They can be famous like Megan Gale and Angelina Jolie, both turning 40 this year or gorgeous women in your circle who are creating their own reality of the aging process.

4. So you didn’t have a baby.

Your worth as a woman and a human isn’t determined on this event. (Despite the social pressure of epic proportions) There will be many reasons that this wasn’t in your life path. There may be a great deal of grief over this for lots of different reasons. I know for myself that even though its been a conscious choice of mine not to have babies there is still a sense of grieving those alternate life possibilities that never eventuated. Let yourself have this process. Your unfolding into a new phase of your life, and its going to be delicious!

5. Check in with your limiting beliefs.

Yes there are different stages and phases in our lives where our priorities change and our bodies work differently. We need to take good care of our health for sure, but be gently and lovingly aware of what you may be telling yourself. Many of these beliefs may not even be yours. This interview with Dr Christine Northrup discusses just this.

I recall a conversation with a girlfriend of mine two years ago discussing the fact that bang on 40th her eyesight went. She proclaimed with such commitment that that is just what happens. Everyone she knew got glasses on their 40th birthday and that was that. With a big sigh she told me to wait and see. Well see I am and instead of checking my eyesight I’m checking in with my beliefs. (I’m not an affiliate of this book and yes its a 20 min video but the gems of wisdom from Dr Northrup are PRICELESS)

 


6. Take the pressure down.

Really.

So for anyone in this age bracket and especially us Aussies… this should really make you laugh. 1 for its oh so cheesy iconic 80’s references and 2 because its truth, sad, tacky, 80’s truth.

All the ‘by now I should haves’… or worse ‘at my age its all over’… enough!

Take. The. Pressure. DOWN.