My Venusian Self Love List – Four Resources You Will Love

Straight Woo

Venus Retrograde happens every 18 months or so. If you’ve never heard about this before you can you can read more at this sight here. Basically it’s a revisionary phase of the planet that rules love, fashion, art, commerce and values.

This year it went retrograde in the sign of Scorpio, which brought a deeper, darker and more emotional component to it.

As I wrote on Instagram back in October

“This mirrors the classic story of Inannas descent into the underworld. She is also knowns by the name of Persephone. A quick google search will send you down a rabbit hole of discovery if you’re not familiar with this story cycle.

It is a powerful one for every woman to be familiar with.

This will be a time of reclaiming the seed of new growth from the darkness and pain in our hearts. It’s a time of recalibrating hope to navigate us in a health self loving direction.  Whether you are looking for love, healing your self love story your money story or deep diving into you Feminine beliefs now is a very powerful time. ”

I have noticed that over the last few years really big shifts in perspective friendships and relationships have happened during Venus retrograde, including the classic pop up appearances of exes (not to be encouraged!) and old friends coming to visit (definitely a highlight!) So this year I was ready to use this 6 week transit to consciously take a deep dive with the Goddess of love, and get clear on my values, how I treat myself, and deepen my relationship with the divine feminine.

Across the 6 weeks of Venus Retrograde;

I took two online self care courses (one my own!)

Travelled for 3 weeks to the UK to visit with girlfriends I’ve known almost all my life and Greece to attend a feminine tantric yoga retreat “Huntress of Pleasure” .

After a year of a lot of transition and foundation laying it was wonderful to take time to get really clear about what I value, the importance of the feminine relationships in my life and anchoring into practices that support my daily self care, whilst still being in the world.

Venus was definitely having her way with me.

At the end I will share 4 free resources that have come from these experiences and become the pillars of my self care practice.

I started this transit off with the second round of my online course Boundaried

Working my way through the 21 days with this group was such a beautiful gift. The coaching calls were full of such simple and powerful gems for the women attending and watching on the play back.

On Day Fifteen I talk about giving ourselves permission to ask for help and knowing how and who to do that with. This includes creating safe and nourishing support circles in our lives. Women are not meant to live in total isolation. Patriarchy has had us pitched against each other for the very reason that we are so very powerful when we support and respect each other.

There are many wounds to heal here, and the power of self forgiveness and the very real experience of feeling the support of other women during the course so far has been beautiful to witness.

It was with my heart full of the call of sisterhood that I flew to London. I wrote about it here.

What I will say time and again is that time spent with women I adore, both new and known is so deeply healing.

Investing time and money to cross oceans to say ” I love you and I miss you, thank you for seeing me,” will be the best money you will ever spend. Hands down.

And if you think these kinds of friendships and connections are out of your reach think again dear sister. Attend a circle in your area, join an online forum, join a meet up, there will be hits and misses but we are out there.

Somewhere in the middle of all this I began the beautiful course Radiate by Claire Baker.  If you haven’t heard of her please do yourself a favour and head over to her page and down load her free cycle charts. You won’t look back!

As an acupuncturist of 18 years it would be so easy (and incorrect) to say that I know as much as I need to know about hormones and periods and all things lady garden. I’m so delighted that I took this course.  What I know to be true is that even if you ‘know’ a technical piece of information, there will always be nuances and subtleties that different people will bring to the topic, and new layers for you to gain another level of understanding on.

Claire has such a way with how she shares all the information offered.  I found my self feeling and sensing new elements to my own cycle and my relationship with my wombspace that I am still integrating. There was so much I loved about this course, the meditations especially helped me sink into the wisdom my body was wanting to offer me.

Improving how I access my inner cycles has been super helpful in planning out how I work, and not getting bogged down in those days that see mood and energy swinging wildly.

The 10 days that I spent on the Island of Amorgos attending the Huntress of Pleasure retreat hosted by Devashi Shakti were deep and transformative. I will write much (much) more on this soon.

Amorgos was the island that the famed Circe of Greek Legend was said to be exiled on. It was the site also of an ancient water priestess oracle, which now of course has a church built over it. (The sacred spring prevails)  The beauty and magic of the place is undeniably nourishing.

The week was structured around morning feminine yoga practice, meals eaten in sacred silence, tantric body work in the afternoons and meditation in the evenings. Sacred silence was maintained for the majority of the day with the exception of a couple of hours when we were in circle in the mornings.

What this practically meant is that we couldn’t use idle, superficial chit chat and intellectual distraction to distance ourselves from how we were feeling and we couldn’t engage in habits of counselling or fixing with other women. It also gave us permission to KEEP  all the energy generated in the course of practices for our own restoration and nourishment. It was a gorgeous and necessary respite from lives that are usually focused on service and care of our clients, family and communities.

So here are the 4 practices that I feel you will love exploring and integrating into your self care practice. 

Silence

Seriously this cannot be underestimated and is definitely something I will be exploring more in my daily life. It might be a solo day at home or a morning in silence before work and I  really enjoyed the silence premenstrually.

Even if it feels beyond you, I’d invite you experiment with just being silent until after breakfast on a Sunday morning or choosing a time in your week that will cause the least inconvenience and give yourself a few hours of space. The benefits are not speculative and have been proven to help brain cell renewal, hormone regulation and decreases in stress.

Journalling Your Menstrual Cycle

This practice came out of Claires course, and it’s something she also talks about in her Socials.  There are a number of ways she suggests to journal through your cycle. The one I have been playing with is where in a separate journal you take 28 (or more) pages and dedicated each page to a day in your cycle, then rule the page into 4 pieces so across the passage of 4 months you will see 4 versions of each day at a glance and be able to observe patterns and reoccurring themes.

Now I have been hit and miss with getting into the ritual of this, but I am continuing with it as I am now heading into my second month of journalling this way and I am seeing lots of reoccurring themes and patterns. There are still some days that are blank (hello inner summer) but there has been some beautifully tender days that when I look back on exactly the same day in my previous cycle there have been similar feelings, ideas and desires occurring.

This has been so helpful in inviting myself to be more compassionate for where I am at and I imagine in the future I will be able to clearly see the ebb and flow of energy and even plan self care, days off, and work around this information.

Values

I am ALWAYS banging on about knowing what your values are. It is such an essential element to getting clear about what’s important to you, why that is and in turn helps you understand how to make decisions that will serve you best and support you to make discerning choices. This free online questionnaire here is a great start.  

I am not in any way affiliated with this group, they will ask for your email to send you the feed back which is comprehensive and helpful. You can read more on values on Wiki here

I dive into knowing your values in all my mentoring work and in Boundaried also. As we evolve and our lives change so too will our values grow and evolve.

Boundaried Self Care Phone Tree 

The last resource I would like to offer you is the self care “Phone Tree”

It is one of the resources in Boundaried. I borrowed the idea from the movie Practical Magic. It is one of my all time fave movies and included in the course curriculum!

The phone tree in the film contained all the names and numbers of the women at school to call in case of emergency.  So too your self care phone tree has all the practices, people and resources you know can help. Again it sounds obvious right? The thing is though that the moment we become stressed or find ourselves in a panic a reminder and a simple grounded list of what to do next is one of the most simple and helpful things we can offer ourselves.

Download your phone tree fillable PDF here.

The way we integrate, interpret and work with any process is always going to be a very individual process. It is my intention here that you explore these ways to support yourself and find what works for you.

As always I would love to hear how this unfolds for you.

Keri

x

How Planning and Manifestation work together

 

 

Organisation and planing are part of the process of Manifestation!

Less that two months ago while I was still batting away the idea of this overseas trip about to happen in a few short days time, I was doing that thing that we all have done at some point and ‘asking for a sign’

Which for me is totally ridiculous a) because I see signs for everything all the time and b) I usually only start asking for signs when I know EXACTLY what I need to be doing but it feels scary.

So when  I tuned in again for guidance, and yet again heard ‘get organised’ it felt underwhelming (because I was thinking it was going to be scary and that is not hard or scary at all!!) But I also realised that for me at least ‘being organised’ is a key part of manifesting.

It’s like the universe needs to keep me busy and out of my own way and get me ready to jump when things fall into place.

Time and time again these last few weeks, when I wasn’t sure what was next to do, and I’m hoping to hear something deeply profound! Loud and clear all I hear is “ Get. Organised”

Now some people that know me will be already rolling their eyes at this.

I have a not so secret Terrier streak that sees a finish line and channels some deep inner Virgo list busting skill set and just goes for it!

I’m not exactly the most disorganised person in the first place, but each time I have heard this I have acted on it because I understand and respect that you cannot expect guidance to keep pouring in when you don’t act on it.

However bizarre it might seem.

So I hopped to it; I’ve closed long empty old bank accounts and Feng Shui’ed my finances, shredded old journals, and re-organised my diary/ journalling / client record situation with this blog from Vienda as a guide.  This has felt supportive, luxurious, and is about anchoring into abundance and comfort.

This type of preparation despite its lack of direct connection isn’t the kind of action that often falls into the category of procrastination.

You know the situation, that final assignment needs to be done and suddenly the grout you’ve been happily ignoring is suddenly the most important thing in the world!

No, this is the deep dive into trust that though it might not seem directly linked to what I am trying to achieve  is essential to the process.

Isn’t it true that we can never really be sure exactly how something is going to unfold?

We might have a dream to travel, to create something, to find a new home or a new love and so we start with one little step at a time.

I dreamt (literally) of catching planes for weeks before I relented to following the creative crumbs of my new London Coaching offering. I have since got my passport out, it’s sitting on my desk reminding me every day.

And of course I have actioned plenty of the obvious steps.

Sales pages have been created, post have been scheduled, promo ideas have been written down, and mad brave cold calls have been made following the feelings to people I’m yet to meet that may be destined to be new friends!

There are goals beyond London that I have been working towards all year, and again they have been of the circuitous variety!

It feels very much like setting up the solid foundation for which many new things are going to be based on.

Next year it is my intention to have the option to work remotely some of the time and it feels like I need to be clear on the practices, clothing and lifestyle items that will travel well with me.

Obviously I don’t NEED these things to have a successful business coaching women but they have been super helpful in anchoring in the FEELING of how that is going to work from anywhere on the planet.

And if you don’t know by now I love me some Practical Magic.

With each clear and conscious purchase such as my new planer I am bringing my self closer to that which I am seeking and as Rumi has famously said will be finding it’s way to me too!

All the while I am staying open to those bolts from the blue, plot twists and unexpected but gratefully received moments of assistance.

I put these ideas out to the women in my Instagram community when this first came up in August and here are my responses to the things that they shared often get in the way of supporting their process of manifestation.

 

Information overwhelm Analyss paralysis Fear of Starting!

If you are already overwhelmed you have ALL the information you need. Step AWAY from the internet and just start. Fling the words up on to a blog, hit send on the intro email that you’ve spent the last week looking at, make that phone call. Just. Start!

Feeling I’m being idealistic or not knowing or having the experience

Short of saying your going to be the first woman on the moon (and hey I’m not going to tell you it’s not possible!) Being ‘idealistic’ is just a dream you havent experinced yet.

Even if the perfect version of the thing your planing and dreaming doesnt happen exactly how you envisioned it, along the way you have created a new skillset and experience to use for the next time you want to bring something new into your world.

Also everyone and anyone who has done anything new or different was told they were bonkers first by nay sayers.

Not being certain of others involved in the plan (or future being manifested)

Give yourself full permission to want what you want regardless of what other people think is possible Or even what currently looks possible. You’re allowed to want what you want. Share you future desires with key people in your world. How they respond gives you alot of information on whetther or not they are aligned with your future. It can be this simple, not always easy on the heart but pretty straight forward. Owning YOUR own narraitve is essential for creating the life your magic heart desires. These are three conversation starters worth exploring.

In my future I see….

Its a long held dream of mine to…….

Its important to me that………

 

We have to be very careful with our dreams and plans in the beginning.

Be discerning who you are going to share you bold new plans with. Not every is going to be as excited about it as you are and thats ok, but we need to know that this doesn’t mean we still shouldn’t pursue our dream. People will sometimes be fearful for you and it simply isn’t helpful. Sometimes we are just so excited and put too much importance in someone else seeing the brilliance of our new plan instead of backing ourselves whole heartedly and doing our due diligence. This breeds self doubt and resentment. Find a mentor, coach, or friend who is as Brene Brown says ‘ in the arena’ doing work of the similar calibre you are looking to create.

We need to make the unknown known.

Follow online, chat to, watch, listen or read about women who have done the thing youre hopeing to do or experience. Knowing your creation will be differnt again.

Having a mentor, coach or group who has been and done what you are wanting to do to has been super helpful for me.

Knowing when it’s time to let something go

Nothing is ever wasted. Trust this truth. Some plans, book drafts, ideas or relationships  are not meant to see light of day, but what you have learnt in the process will undoubtedly make the next thing you approach much more successful. It can be a bittersweet with out doubt.

Sometimes things do just take time and it can feel super frustrating but one thing I know for sure is that life is happening FOR us not TOO us.

 

I’d love to hear from you, your experiences on manifesting and how you support this process in your life.

 

Here’s to creating lives with meaning and benefit not just ourselves but our communities as well.

x

 

 

 

 

Creating Holiday Rituals that Nourish

keri krieger blog, how to survive xmas, end of 2017, women's health coach, emma kate co

 

The end of year can be so tricky to navigate.

And I know I’m not alone in observing this. Obligation, unrealistic expectations, clashes of values and needs, it can all seem too hard. It doesn’t need to be this way though.

In my ongoing sorting and repacking of my storage unit, I found a photo of my sister and I somewhere around 1995. It’s a hilarious photo because for some reason we felt the need to kneel down beside my big kitchen table next the spread of food we had prepared. It’s this weird but festive photo with our almost disembodied heads next to plates of food! Let me remind you that there was no digital photography at this point!

I wish I had’ve taken a photo of it before packing it back away. This photo reminded me that for a number of years while we were still living in the same country we would celebrate our ‘Holiday Festival’ on the Solstice on the 21st Dec. This is when we gave each other presents and shared the highlight real of our year and our wishes for the next. *

This felt meaningful and connected as I didn’t align with the commercialism of the season (I still don’t) or the Christian one on offer. I made up my own rituals, borrowed a few from my pagan leanings to honor the summer season and I was on my way! Just add people I love, great food and music. In our childhood my sister played  ‘The Muppets Christmas Album’ version of the 12 days of Xmas so much that regardless of whether we are  together I hear Miss Piggy screeching 5 Golden Rings until the 2nd of Jan.

*(This was also a time in my life when I left a slice of birthday cake out for the ‘elementals’. True stories. Now I just eat all the cake myself! I figure I’m an elemental too!)

As the years have passed and my baby brother and sister were born, I adored celebrating with them. Their excitement at the Xmas tree, all squishing into the same bed as they couldn’t agree with who was going to sleep in the big bed with their sister! There was even Mass in the melting North Queensland heat with my quasi Catholic parents. I found my feminist alignment with this by ‘hanging out with Mary’ and feeling into the genuine reverence present. Which was undeniable.

My ex-husband was a huge xmas fan. The decorations were epic, the carols continuous and I’m ok with never having to clean up that much tinsel again! The holiday season in the norther hemisphere it has to be said feels so much more authentic to me. At that time of year it can be really nourishing to celebrate and raise your spirits. The gift of a white winter solstice is something I enjoyed so much.

My siblings are now 20 and 22 but my nieces have since been born and I have once again loved creating rituals with them and my sister. No longer two disembodied heads at a table but trying to keep the presents a secret and grab a minute of quiet time together.

This year I find myself at another ritual crossroads. My younger siblings are all grown up, my sister and my nieces living overseas and my parents having parties with friends of their own. (That of course I could join).

I am finding myself leaning toward the ways I naturally love to celebrate and looking forward to creating space in my life for these thing for the first time in a long time. Simple, natural and homespun fun. And honestly while I don’t want to make a huge deal about this one day, after an enormous year I do want to soak up the spaciousness of having a week off and connect with my loves in a way that feels meaningful and not contrived.

I’m feeling into what 23 year old Keri would want to do because whilst we often search into the future to see what our older wiser self might think, there is wisdom to be found in the simple honestly of our younger selves too.

I want you to know that if the season ahead is hard for you, that you can create your own meaningful rituals.

Some ideas you could play with are;

Volunteer for your local charity.

Celebrate an ‘orphans xmas’ with your besties.

Even solo, create and plan ahead for a beautiful day; food, candles, activities that you love doing.

A day in a hammock with a book sounds just divine to me, or curled up by the fire if your Xmas is a chilly one. Making a big gratitude list of all the things you’re thankful for this year is a heart lead way to keep your focus on all that is abundant in your life.

Some other resources you might find helpful-

You can reflect and unravel your year with my Alchemical Year Play book

Alexandra Franzen has this ritual here I think I might try.

And my gorgeous friend Kris has these cards that inspire wonderful connection between people, pop them out if you’re in a group of people that might not know each other well.

 

I’d love to hear how your approaching the holiday season.

What spiritual practices or festivities do you align with?

And know too that if you’re really struggling don’t go it alone, there are support services you can connect with.

x

K

 

 

It needs to be included that as I’m writing this my neighbours child has launched into a sing- a -long version of Jingle Bells on the keyboard. It’s official. The seasons is ON!

 

 

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Yin, Yang, Desire and the constellation of receptivity and hope.

 

Desire is a constellation of creativity receptivity and trust.

There is so much written on chasing your desires, as if desires and goals have become all mixed up.

There is also much talk of ‘being able to receive’ often in the same conversations as talk of the feminine, and the divine feminine. Women are relearning and meeting their own embodiment for the first time.

Often these conversations are couched in the same energy that we have been operating in which is to say a very masculine direct way in which we believe we are required or to ‘go out and chase’ and hunt down the things in life we want to experience. This is not the way to cultivate the feminine and heal our exhaustion from over doing.

To be blunt a lot of this discussion is just a dressing up of Masculine principals in a pretty spiritual dress. It is not helping us to connect any closer with the innate wisdom we have as women because of our physicality and it’s energetic workings.

(Please know that when I talk about masculine and feminine I’m not talking about men and women. Transpose the words yin and yang if that helps to create understanding.)

Let me ask you……

If your animal body were able to give you all the feedback she needed if she were able to purr in satisfaction or roar in pain and anguish or share her hearts desires in the safe nest the two of you create in the still moments of the day what would she say?

How would you relate to her?

Would you push her to chase down and hunt her dreams or would you let her cultivate her magnetism ?

Desire is like the pull of the moon. The shoreline doesn’t have to ‘do’ anything to have the ocean come rushing at her.

Neither do you.

What if we could truly feel our desires and not just the absence of them and the pain that can cause us, but the spaces within us that they could inhabit and in that sensation create the receptivity to embrace them and TRUST the timing of their arrival.

What. If. That.

What if as women we were able to connect with our innate receptive nature and trust the divine pull of our desires to steer our course across the skyline of our lives?

How much more energy would we have access to each day to take care of our needs and the needs of our families and businesses?

How much less struggle would be present, the self doubt, self loathing and guilt.

Lets talk about the guilt for a minute here.

A dear friend shared with me that in A course in Miracles guilt is referred to as an interruption (I haven’t quite got there yet its slow going!)

An interruption.

An interruption to you and the conversation that you and your soul, your animal body and your very necessary clever human mind are in.

This affects every possible way that we as women show up in the world. It informs us of our not enough-ness of our occasionally too-much-ness. It tells us we shouldn’t ask for so much or hunger for a life that our bodies are telling us is possible.

It encourages us to dampen down those feelings any way we can with food, with alcohol with technology with drugs. And before you know it that clear sonic path way between us and our desires is littered with static and disruption and we distrust the transmission we are hearing.

Our light is dimmed, the twinkling constellation of our lives feels lost in space.

It interrupts our creativity and the permission this needs to take form in our lives.

Let the guilt go.

For all the women over eating, under eating, over working, distrusting the presence of love in your life, be gentle with yourself, the path back to yourself can be a challenging one. It is a not a journey of addition which we are familiar with but of subtraction, which is frightening when we have bought into the existence of not enough and lack and denial.

Let me be clear here we are not talking about subtracting elements of you but of the layers you have worn in error hoping to improve or please or diminish your brightness. This subtraction is a revelation. Quite literally a revealing.

Take your time with your souls rebirth there is no rush.

Remember the co-ordinates to that constellation.

Hear the pull of your desires hidden in the longing and hunger.

Feel the receptivity present in your body.

Trust the unfolding of your heart in your life.

You are woman. Creatress. Huntress.

There is Magic and Desire in you enough to births stars.

Beheld.

 

 

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Wholehearted love – my conversation on the Unbreakable podcast

Late last year I was thrilled to be asked to share my story on Nicole Mathieson’s Unbreakable podcast.

Nicole is a kinesiologist and confidence coach who guides her clients back to their heart so they can build a life of deep fulfilment and contentment.

We delved into how I got where I am today, from that first inkling that something wasn’t right to the upheaval and exploration that led me here.
You can listen to our chat here.

Keri Krieger_valentines-day

The single divorced middle aged woman’s guide to not giving a f*ck about Valentine’s day

(and so much other crap that compromises keeping our hearts strong and open)

Keri Krieger_valentines-day

 

Now that I’ve got your attention with that incredibly dramatic title, let me just say

I love love. All of it.

 

I mean, I love romance and flirtation and devotion.

I love that feeling when you first meet someone that you like, that feeling that you get when you haven’t even met someone but you’re just finally OPEN to it. Like yeah… I can go there.

I almost, ALMOST even like that feeling when you have just broken up with someone you truly deeply loved. Like you know even though the air around you hurts you did something real and magical there.

I love lusty, and sensual. I love that feeling when you are truly inhabiting yourself and people stop and look when you walk by. Even though you haven’t brushed your hair and your wearing clothes the dog slept on (or maybe they can tell.. who knows)

But you get my point.

I love feeling connected; with myself, with the world around me, with potentially a pretty hot human.

And then there is Valentines Day.

And it’s just not fucking helpful.

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