Ride that Unicorn to Boyfriend Town + other real life rituals of love!
So. This weekend is Valentines Day. And you know what, I am really quite over having my otherwise gorgeous relaxing weekend taken over by some absolutely bullshit holiday or another! Yup I’m not even sugar coating this rant, its straight into it!
You see, as I found myself today launching headlong into another grinch style moment over the upcoming Hallmark occasion, I realised, a little self consciously, that I go on like this a bit lately. As my mind tracked back over Australia Day, New Years Day, Christmas and please-don’t-even-get-me-started-on-things-like-Hens-Parties I saw a real trend happening here.
No, not that I’m a woman of a certain age that is single and gotten her Victoria Secrets in a twist.
That’s not it at all.
Its that I actually dearly love and cherish ritual in my life REAL ritual. Ritual that marks occasions with authenticity and thoughtfulness mindfulness and meaning and yes fun too! I have gotten to a point in my life that I’m finding it harder and harder to play along with occasions that I find honestly, quite distasteful and disrespectful to all involved.
Now I know, a bunch of you are reading this thinking yeah but I bet if she had a delish man in her life showering her with attention this weekend she’d change her tune. Well peeps unless someone gets their act into gear quick smart between now and Sat your going to have to wait a while to see what that metaphorical pudding looks like… um in about a years time. What I can say is that in the beautiful romantic relationships in my past I have enjoyed sharing created rituals. How do you do that I hear you say? Read on gorgeous ones read on!
Lets start with New Years as its the most recent. I usually categorically avoid New Years, I’m not sure why, I think it just feels like there is so much pressure for it to be this evening of epic proportions. I have two caveats here and that involves Sydney Harbour fire works and the New York Times Square dropping of the ball, other than that I’m in bed in time to get up and watch the sunrise.
This year things didn’t go to my control freaky plans but I did enjoy this beautiful new year sunrise and the next night which was the first new moon of the year I created a new year ritual.
For this ritual you will need.
Something to safely burn small pieces of paper in. A pot out in the open or safely in the laundry sink is always a good idea.
Of course I have a cauldron! Then add all your favourite things like candles, tea or your favourite yummy beverage, and a list.
On that list you are writing down all the things you have to thank the previous year for. The gifts and learnings, the fun stuff that you want more of and the tricky stuff that you struggled through and learnt from and are ready to let go. You can write it down like your talking to someone or just list all the words thoughts and pictures down any ol’ how on a piece of paper.
For my New Year Ritual I was home alone, I had my yummy tea, I was working through some new years plans and lists, I had candles burning and beautiful music playing.
The trick with any ritual isn’t that these things actually have magical powers on their own, you see its all about your intention. For me these things set the mood, create the feeling of sacred space and open me up to the possibilities and dreams that are hiding away in my subconscious. If all you have time for is a five minute out loud wish list and blowing out a candle whilst you hide in the bathroom from your 4 year old playing hide and seek. I totally believe that works too!
The wonderful thing about this kind of ritual is that it works for lots of occasions. I did it to mark the new calendar year on the new moon. You could easily do it as friends of mine did for the Chinese New Year. Anniversaries and Birthdays are another beautiful time to re-asses and let go of the old and invite in the new!
So once you have that list all written out its time to set it on fire!
Now seriously, do I have to remind you to put the kids and the cats and curtains and the expensive silk highly flammable things away… far far away? I do? Ok go sort that stuff out then come back.
Now you set it on fire in the cauldron (big pot) and visualise your dreams and burdens streaming away into the ether to be filed in the appropriate cosmic filing cabinet as it goes up in smoke. Easy Peasy!
So whilst your working out how to apply this to our own lives, here are 5 sure fire ways to feel loved up and romanced with or without a romantic partner, this weekend or any other. Of course I have assigned them according to the elements.
Metal – Give the gift of an occasion to yourself. Carve out time to read that book or watch your favourite film. Enjoy some time in nature or visit your local art gallery.
Fire – Use Candles or scents to create a sensory experience in your home. Light candles for yourself and make an occasion of your evening meal. (ahem and yes put your phone away!)
Water- Run a bath to nurture yourself
Earth – Create a beautiful meal full of greens and beautiful flavours to nourish your senses.
Wood – Get sweaty and expressive and turn your fave tunes up nice and loud and dance like no-one is watching!!
In the last few weeks there have been quite a few beautiful opportunities to create and enjoy ritual in my world I believe its something I will do more of Here is the link to the gorgeous MelJanePhotography’s Blog. She was the photography for our friend Jodies’ pre wedding ritual. Jodie aptly titled it ‘Secret Womens Business’ I had been calling it ‘its not a hens party’ You’ll see my cauldron in full swing in her photo above. It was truly such a beautiful night. It was a complete honour to help organise and I really didn’t realise until it was all happening just how special an event it was going to turn out to be. We all left feeling full up and nourished in a way that only happens when women get together and celebrate and love each other.
That is my kind of Valentines Day!
Oh and the Unicorn in Boyfriend Town? Well I also used the above ritual to invite a new man into my life….. I’ll let you know how that gets on as news comes to hand!