huntress collective

The Huntress + The Dark Night of the Soul

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The dark night of the soul is something that many people have written about over centuries. The phrase itself has become synonymous with hardship and loss and quests to regain what was lost. I have written alot over the last few years about the experiences and heartache that have shaped who I now am and and most importantly the work that I now find myself devoted to.

I no longer want to tell the stories of ‘this or that’ happened.

I want to tell you how I came out the other side.

I want to tell you what worked and what didn’t.

I want you to know that there is a way through and you don’t have to go it alone.

I want to encourage you to let go of the stories that no longer serve and discover the strength that lies at the heart of your feminine darkness.

In those spaces between the knowing.

This is my story of the Huntress.

 


 

You see I’m fascinated with mythology, I always have been.

These myths date back to the beginning of time and form tapestries on the walls of our collective unconscious. The stories of Artemis and Diana in mythology show her as a moon goddess, governing the wild natures of women children and animals. She is depicted often with the crescent moon with a bow and arrow in her hand. The huntress governs the ebb and flow of our feminine cycle and it is with her by our side that we enter our dark night of the soul. Like a stroll into the woods without her guidance and fierce support do we make it out in one piece.

For this to happen we have to trust her, dance in our darkness and embrace the power and strength that quite frankly we have no clue exists until there is nothing else.

Ask a mother in child birth where she drew the strength from

Ask a wife how she knew that something just wasn’t right

Ask the artist that writes and writes where that first divine spark came from

So when I saw this archetype begin to show up in my life I new it was time. I knew that despite the exhaustion I still felt that I really was out of the woods. That somehow that part of my journey was over. That her strength and resourcefulness was somehow mine to access piece by piece.

This is what she wants me to tell you;

She wants you to listen.

She wants you to sit in the dirt in the darkness in the warm loving embrace of your fellow women.

And stop. And to put. down. your. weapons.

There is a time for fighting, for defending, for taking aim at the target in our sites, but there needs to be a time for taking refuge in safety and warmth and softness. Let us create a space for that now, before its too late. Before the heart ache of loss and let down, of disrespect and disillusionment tarnish our ability to love and trust forever.

Before we lose the learning and the magic inherent in the huntress.

Before all that is left of her magic is anger and armor and we lose the ability to be creative and spontaneous and tap into the endless wisdom of mother nature.

That is the wisdom of the huntress.

 

If this sings to you I would love to hear from you, comment below, or pop me an email

#huntresscollective will be an ongoing part of my coaching work and I’d love to see how she’s showing up in your world too, hashtag your courageous moments on Instagram I’d love to cheer you on!

x

K

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Is it just me, or has it all gone to sh*t lately?

 

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Today I went up to Springbrook National Park.

Its a short drive from where I live on the Gold Coast. Its been very wet and very warm for this time of year. I say that but to be honest I’m not really sure how wet or warm its meant to be. All I know is that its been summer for at least 6 months here, and I’m pretty happy with that.

One of the walks up on the Springbrook Plateau is called Purling Brook Falls. Its a stunning 4 km circuit trail down to the base of the water fall then back up.

Over 10 years ago now I lived up on Springbrook in the street that Purlingbrook Falls is on.

I walked literally 200 mtrs out my front door every morning and walked that 4 kms to start my day, I would come home meditate and journal then have my breakfast… always a giant mug of home perculated coffee and then start my day.

The year was 2002 there was no Facebook, there was certainly no instagram and the internet was dial up… Do you remember? .. ….weeeawww weeeawwww brrrrrrrr dip dip dip …… thats the sound the interwebs made literally as it was dialing up.

You knew your connection was going to be shit if after those first few dip dip dips, you went back to the weeeaws.

Back then I was an under 30 married hippy chick practicing acupuncture walking in pristine world heritage national forest, meditating, journalling and getting fits for fucks sake… and no one. knew. about it.

No-one. Cared. (and I mean that in a good way)

Not even my husband.

“How was your morning babe?” “Great, walked the Falls, chilled out went to work, it was great .. yours?”

There were no selfies, no proclamations of my feats of spiritual and physical greatness. Just me being me. This was the first time I started writing for real too.

I got the very first article I ever wrote and sent in published in Living Now magazine. I still have it. Somehow it felt too easy. Write an article. Get published. They even wanted to pay me?? Seriously???

I’ve been thinking about this a-lot lately, so I went back up there today to walk it out, feel it out and have a chat to my younger self (there’s another blog post in that one soon)

You see I’ve been asking a bunch of annoying questions of the people in my life recently. Lots of “whats the point?” I’m sure I’ve been like an annoying 4 year old on the cusp of working out their world.

What does this do? How does that work? Why would I want one of those? Specifically, what is the value of the work I do? What is the value of relationships I have and what kind of relationships do I want?

Do I want to seek out another long term partnership? What does that mean to me at this point in my life anyway?

Yup! Just another day in the over thoughtful life of Keri!! But, you know if you don’t ask the questions and live those questions, I don’t think the answers are ever going to present themselves. So I quest, and I live my splendid life and I wonder.

This wondering has taken a little while, a good 6 or 7 months have passed since I was blogging regularly. Lots has changed. There is so much I have to share with you. So much amazing work that I am now getting to do. I have this gorgeous new site, and I really want to do it justice. I want to fill it up with light and hope and have meaningful and fun conversations here.

I want to know that even though now I take selfies, and share my beach walks and invite effectively the whole bloody world in on my personal journey that there IS a point. That its helpful, that it adds value to someone somewhere. Even just one person. I want to make sure that I’m keeping true to my personal values and not falling prey to the technology we now have available.

Would I still be doing all that I am even if no-one knew anything about it. Like in the olden days? And after all this crazy deep thinking the answer is easy and hilarious.

Well YES… Der!

The changes though have not only been internal ones. I’m sure I’m not the only health practitioner/entrepreneur/ blogger to notice that the climate we’re operating in has gone to shit, lets be honest. And no I”m not talking about global warming.

I’m talking about the fear mongering, slander, and heartache that is going on within our industry online.

My heart is sore with it all. Very sore, and its making me question how I want to move forward with my work.

It’s sore for Jess Ainscough and the slander that has been perpetuated about her since her death. Its sore for my dear friends that knew her personally. In the 1500s powerful women with a voice were burnt at the stake as witches, excuse my melodrama but it feels like not much has changed.

My heart is sore for Belle Gibson. Dear God Girl what have you gone and done? We all will pay the price for this.

I was at an event last week listening to Clare Bowditch speak. Wowee what a flame of a women she is. She was talking about the artists ‘right of reply’ which exists now with the advent of social media. She was quite eloquent and heart felt in her desire for Belle to exercise her right of reply. Clare quite rightly spoke for many of us when she said ‘we want to know you care’ ‘we want to know what happened’.

All of us qualified, recognised registered or not are at risk of being tarnished with your brush.

And my heart is sore because I dearly wish to meet someone to share my splendid mad life with.

But you know, the desire to shine bright, to speak my truth and create work that is meaningful has felt awfully at odds with a lovely first date.

When I duck to the loo 20 mins in, my date is capable of googling me, reading about my divorce, abusive relationship, therapy, business goals and my last freakin holiday in Bali.

While. I’m. in. the. loo!

Pee quickly Keri he’s probably got distracted with your Face Book profile!

Hilarious really, and probably just a teeny bit OTT but honestly I know I’m not alone here?

Please don’t think I’m overrun with visions of fame and grandeur but you know what I’m talking about surely. This kind of vulnerability really makes it hard to press publish some days!

Its a funny ol time for a Gen X-er to be single……. and don’t even get me started on all these mega beards.

So for all my dear gorgeous friends who are really feeling it at the moment. Who are much more on the fore front of defending our way of life and our apparently alternative lifestyle choices.

I dedicate this post to you.

I’m back in the trenches and I’m going to all I can to be seen and shine and be the love I want to feel in the world. Thank for keeping my seat warm.

I’m back!

I’d love to hear how your doing. How do you cope in such situations? Are you doing ok?

With love

K x

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Single by choice or circumstance, know that love and connection is always available to us.

The sun the moon and the stars are still ours to orbit with.

The pull of the tides ours to travel on.

Keep your heart wide open your boundaries intact, your love clearly visible of all to see shining through our eyes.

Ours is a different story.

Sing your song with pride.

Over scheduled + Underproductive.

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* So I first posted this in 2014 after an almost May to August work bender… I absolutely do not recommend anyone doing anything so bonkers but here’s how I mostly pulled it off and tips that now really do work to keep things sane with it gets crazy!

 

 

If you ask someone you bump into in the coffee shop or at the school drop off how their day is you’ll be quite used to hearing people say. Busy. Like busy covers everything somehow.

I caught myself saying it as I rushed from one thing to the next from one appointment to the next, even from fun enjoyable things like dinner with friends I was racing.

Now its likely that if this sounds like you, your what Dr Libby Weaver has coined a ‘rushing woman’ in her book Rushing Womens Syndrome. If you’ve had a treatment with me its at this point I would be talking to you about your Kidney energy and running on your adrenals.

What I did notice is that for me at this particular time I caught myself a good bit of the stress and the rush wasn’t just from the feeling that I had ‘so many things to do’ but from the feeling that I wasn’t actually getting the things I needed done…. and thats because I wasn’t.

I was over-scheduled and underproductive. So if this sounds like you I have a few tips that have really helped.

1. Step away from the coffee pot! I’m serious. Now I’m not going to tell you to stop drinking coffee…. although I may be suggesting that your relationship with it needs re-evaluation. Coffee is as Elmo says a ‘sometimes food’ and if you cant imagine your day being successful with out it (as I have been guilty of) then you may need some relationship counseling!

At the very least please don’t inhale that early morning cup on an empty stomach as its almost impossible to come back from the adrenalin blood sugar roller-coaster if you do. Hint …..its also almost impossible to think clearly and rationally if your brain is not getting an even stream of glucose.

 

2. If your were a triage nurse in a hospital how would you rate your to do list? The triage nurse is the person in charge of rating all the bleeding moaning and wounded that walk in the door so the most life threatening ailments get dealt with first. Apply this to your daily planner and the jobs that are at the bottom of this list that aren’t really that important you…

3. Delegate them Date them (for another day and time that is more spacious) or you Ditch them… seriously I have found old lists, usually in the bottom of a handbag somewhere with random stuff on the end of a list that has NEVER been done I often cant even remember why it would have warranted being put on the list in the first place. And for those times when you are truly very tightly scheduled and its just the way it is and you chose it that way (oh boy really!) Here’s three things that will get you through.

Mindfulness. You can only be where you are right now. So be there. Your breath will help with this.

So for example when your replying to emails thats all your doing. And breathing slow and steady into your belly to remind your body that there is no need to switch on adrenaline. You aren’t being chased by a saber tooth tiger your doing emails, or getting on board a plane, or treating clients. Thats it. (that thing that you do when your at you computer and you forget to breath, it has a name now, its called screen apnea, breath please people!)

And how do you stay so calm and mindful in that moment, without freaking out thinking fuck! I forgot to call xxxx.

Heres how: As far ahead as is possible and sensible set a day or a couple of days in a week depending on what sort work bender your going into and be Extremely Crazy Efficient. You sit yourself down look at the time frame of the work ahead and you brain storm every single last thing that you are going to need over that time frame for you to be organised on time well fed loved and happy. Everything. Are you going to need new warm socks, yes? well put them on the list right next to the flights and the hotel.

Heading these lists with dates or locations so you do them in order is a great way to start. So on my 30 day non-stop bender I had lists Headed Mudgee, Sydney, Melbourne, Sarah’s Party etc in order of when they were happening and on those list heart shaped post it notes with what I needed to do (I am rather visual!) I eventually sat each of these lists on top of piles of clothing or equipment that was needed for each event so as I got to it I could cross reference anything else I needed to grab as it happened. It’s much easier to sit down and do just the one type of thing and get it all done.

So go through and order everything that needs to be ordered, sourcing gifts booking hotels and flights. Then you know its all done and your not trying to multitask which we know that really doesn’t work. You might choose to have this all digitally organised (I am deeply attached to my post it notes) however you do it, having it all laid out really helps so when your tired and not possibly at your best you know its all waiting there for you. I’m a pretty small operation but this works even better in a bigger set up so you can send it out to your assistants to pick things up without having to hunt around.

Last but almost most importantly is Boundaries. Serious rock your socks boundaries. For this one we kinda need to bring back that triage nurse, where the triage nurse is now in charge of incoming phone calls and email requests for your time and energy. For a relatively short term work bender the answer will quite simply be no. Fullstop. No I’m completely fully booked ( or whatever your preferred term is) until the end of the month. Now the really important thing here is to NOT book yourself up the second your get back from the Bender (as I am affectionately calling it ) ……because then the bender isn’t really over, and truly you need to stop at some point. A good triage nurse will know if its really important eg that amazing meeting with that really fabulous contact you’ve been chasing and then a few other things might need to shuffle. Having said that timing really is everything and sometimes actually, quite often people will be prepared for you not to be available at the drop of a hat and it truly helps to cultivate this in your personal and business relationships. Next week I talk about how you recuperate from your little bender burn out. xx

 

 

Women On Fire

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Its been tough.

Its been amazing .

Life has taken you to your edge more than you ever thought possible, the thoughts dreams hopes and fantasies of your youth got gritty and edgy and dirty and you thought and prayed on more than one occasion “Fuq I hope I get through this.”

Yet on the outside you looked for all the world like a woman coping with amazing adversity with grace poise and determination. The option of collapse just wasn’t on the cards there was too much riding on your success.

And even while people complemented you on your ability to get the job done, at home on your own you doubted your very ability to get up and do it all again the next morning.

You read books on self help Echart Toile and Brené Brown have been your bedtime companions, you bought yourself flowers, walked the dog fed your kids and kept the toilet paper stocked up. And Did. It all. Again. The next day.

You were hungry, you still are hungry, craving a desire for nourishment deep in your bones deep in your very soul that wakes you up every day, eyes on the horizon putting one foot in front of the other.

You gratitude prayer is your mantra, its your daily bread and butter whilst you put together that proposal and dream up the next step of your evolution.

Its been tough but the light is getting brighter, YOUR light is getting brighter.But hell it would be great to not have to do it all on your own.

A tribe, A team that has been there too. Has been there in the dark as you watched all that you knew and love vanish and yet you still drew breath.

You danced you swam, you made some very questionable decisions, repeatedly!

You learnt you experience you picked yourself up and fell down another rabbit hole!

Your not happy with the status quo, the mundane you can deal with but settling isn’t part of your vocabulary. Its not that you want lots of attention and ego stroking, just to give yourself the permission to fucking BE all that you are, permission to speak your truth and live your dharma, the role, the story, the magic that only you dear woman can sing into this world. I hear you!

The peak of your youth is just behind you, but you have never felt more at home in your body, more quietly confident, the fire in you is rising, the magic, the sex the power that is yours and only yours is simmering almost ready, you feel it yes?

 

I’m calling out to you women, high and low, good god I’d love to meet you how I’d love to have you on my team and share my story with you.

 

To sit around this virtual fireside and support each other and journey together that is my wish, is my heartfelt spiritual directive.

 

In ancient times we had a place, a collective and a space to weave and share and dream and birth our stories in this world.  To laugh and be deliciously wicked and wild. Dear one this is such a space. Come sit and play and laugh and heal.

Healing that will set your world on fire.

x

K

 

Primal Po meets Modern Man

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From the archives is the post all about  the Po. The alchemical spirit of the lungs and how we can incorporate this ancient wisdom of the most primal aspect of ourselves into our modern worlds .

 

I have all these incredibly intellectual ideas and theories to share on the soma; the physical body, and its responses and how the Po is an expression of the innate wisdom of our cellular bodies. And I”m sure I’ll get to that at some point… there is an endless amount of information I can share from this elemental point of view.

 

What I am really feeling tonight when I think about the Po is the gentrification of the body and the senses and how thats effecting our health and our relationship with our bodies wellness. Oh is that all… the ‘gentrification’ of the body!!

The Po is experienced through our senses, taste, texture, scent, sight. Its the automatic functions of our bodies like breathing and peristalsis (digestion). Its experienced in that space between our skin (our awareness of where we start and stop) and the outside world. Its the animalistic aspects of our functioning bodies and our psyche.

 

Its all the bits we have no control over yet constantly inform our likes dislikes and urges. 

 And as highly functioning modern upright people, we have a few issues with these urges and tastes don’t we? ( This is where the gentrification bit come in ) Our minds and intellect, and our hearts and dreams would have us operating from an almost utopian platform. We have been culturally disciplined to detach and suppress the so called less attractive aspects of our bodies and minds. There is much that still today we wouldn’t dare discuss ‘in public’ . And yet much of these taboo subjects include basic bodily functions that are quite essential to our wellbeing and survival ( think poo and sex ).

So what happens when we suppress the Po and ignore the innate wisdom of our bodies and trust that connection between the body and the mind? Pain and ‘psychosomatic’ symptoms ranging from stress-related skin disorders, eating disorders and chronic undiagnosable pain.

 

Our bodies only ‘language’ is our nervous system and its through this system that it will try and get its messages across to us. They sound something like this.

 

“Hey, you up there! ” (patient pause for response) “Hey! We don’t think you should be eating that… (another patient pause) HEY!!!! (huddle together for a brain storm) I know, we’ll create some pain, that’ll do it. (patient pause) Damn it they just took a pain killer….. hmmmm Ok Ok I’ve got it, some red skin that always gets them ok GO!

 

Ok so this isn’t exactly scientific but you get my point. The bodies wisdom; the innate cellular wisdom, that gut feeling, intuition, or a ‘sense of knowing’, does actually need to be heard occasionally! Or, quite simply there are consequences. Now this doesn’t mean that we have to go all primal and throw out all the other functions. The other spirits have their place.

 

Ideally they work together. Depending on our own make up and our cultural learnings some are going to be more easily integrated than others. Myself, I live in this visceral world of experiencing life through the Po. I probably give this spirit way too much free rein! What does that look like?

 

Senses, texture and environment are paramount to the Metal element. There are always scented candles burning and fresh flowers and my house has always been full of animals (lets not mention the bats here ok). I work physically with peoples bodies. I have a bathroom full of more oil and lotions than any one body is ever going to be able to absorb and I spend almost more time in the ocean than on dry land. In winter this is replaced by the bath tub (Tonights blog is proudly bought to you by Embody Bath Salts). Textured cushions, natural fibres, LOTS of colour, really I could go on and on. If this sounds like you and your saying, well thats every modern woman surely, I’ll tell you sadly this is not so.

 

This genuine external expression of the Po is matched with an internal nourishment and respect of that animal instinct. The ability to ‘check in’ with our bodies and interpret its metaphorical language. This I believe is becoming quite a rare ability as we seek to cover up, pretty up and medicate the aspects of ourselves that we don’t like, don’t ‘fit’ or are fearful of. To bring that full circle and back to the bodies I spend my day working with, this results in disharmony. Disharmony of mind and body expressing its self in pain and inflammation of increasing severity.

As I read this I realise this really is my primary function with my treatments. To work as an interpreter for the body and to translate the pain and inflammation that my clients are experiencing so they might heal themselves. What can you do to nourish your Po? Well, any of the above is great, experiencing your senses, in what ever way is fun for you. (You don’t have to turn it into the extreme sport as I tend to do)

One of the easiest ways is to simply ‘check in’ with you body. When I think this or eat this how do I feel? more or less calm?  more or less tight in my shoulders? BREATHE! yep just slowly calmly breathe. You’ll be surprised to find just how often your holding your breathe.

 

To finish off, here is a quote from one of my favourite books “Five Spirits” that so beautifully articulates the place I wish to take my practice.

By Lorie Eve Dechar. Lantern Books 2006

 

“When the acupuncture needle penetrates the surface of the skin, there is a moment of silence, an emptiness, a wondering and not knowing. When the metal needle meets the living body, there is a silence, a pause …before the tiny whirlwind spins and the qi redirects its course. For thousands of years, the intentions of healers and patients have met in that single breathless emptiness, that turning point of the soul that is the moment of transformation.

Perhaps, as we open to another form of consciousness, the present silence of our world will become that empty turning point, that breathless moment of change.  Perhaps, if one by one we humans reclaim our vision of a living cosmos imbued with intention and intelligence and illuminated by wisdom, we will become like ten thousand silver needles penetrating and healing the body of the earth. Then perhaps , through healing our planet, we will heal ourselves and hear again the songs that the stones of the earth are singing to the clouds of heaven .”

 

x

K

 

How to have a Staycation!

Staycation, Keri Krieger

Over the Christmas period last year the retreat where I practice was closed down for two whole weeks and for the first time in years I planned to do absolutely nothing with it! In fact I planned what turned out to be the best holiday EVER; my very first Staycation! (And road test all those tips I give out as a health and life coach)

Here’s the five things you need to know to have your very own homestay holiday in paradise!

1. Set up an auto responder for your email. Nope your not even going to think about answering all that mail, your giving your brain a rest!

Here’s some handy sites that can help you set it up from Gmail or your Mac Mail settings

 

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My Stacycation Location

2. Do the biggest grocery shop EVER. Have 3 of everything in the pantry ready to go should you feel like cooking up a gourmet storm or inviting your besties over for something spesh… you don’t grocery shop on holiday do you. No.

So why should you on Staycation?

I’m even thinking having delicious nourishing food ordered in.

Imagine relaxing all day then opening the fridge to these beautiful dinners!

Staycation meets at home health retreat Hells YES!

 

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3. Go Viral with your use of the word staycation. This way everyone knows that your actually on holiday and leaves you the hell alone. (if this is infact what you want, I’m a card carrying introvert here!)

People wouldn’t ask you to babysit whilst your on holiday in Bali.. no of course not and not while your on staycation either thank you very much!

 

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My Staycation Planner

4. Get a plan. You can change it easily but this maps out the key things you want to include and means that you wont get caught up with hmmmm maybe I’ll just quickly clean the blinds today. No sorry blinds I have a date with the art gallery. Done!


5. Having a staycation on your own? Well this doesn’t mean that you rule out romance. Romance yourself gorgeous! Candle lit dinners. Dress up for breakfast. Spend the whole day in bed. Watch the sun set on the beach.

 

 

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 Let me know how you get on with you own Staycation!

x

K

 

The Dog Blog!

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Ruben as a pup at the Cliffs of Mohair in County Galway.
(yes I bought him home from 2 years living in Ireland!)

 

In this instalment of the D – Book we’re looking at D for Debt and D for Dog.

In January last year Ruben decided he would take a toddle across four lanes of traffic in the pouring rain. At night.

To this day we are still unsure just how he managed to get out. He’s a pretty clever dog, when I say clever what I really mean is he’s determined. Now even at the time I could see that this was going to be one of these profound learning curves. I just gosh darn wish it hadn’t come quite so close on the back of all the other inspired learning curves. Disaster loves company was one of my less pleasant mantras at this time.

Anyways that night I came home, Sarah aka Wifey and Ruben weren’t home. She often took him with her so that wasn’t unusual, Ruben was often requested for puppy dates so I messaged her to check. “Scuba with you?” (Ruben became ruby, became ruba became scuba… you know how it goes)

Just as the phone goes there is a knock at the door, in the pouring rain, there is man quite animatedly trying to get me to come to the door. Now I’m a pretty easy going gal but I’m not feeling particularly inclined to open that door.

Then I hear him say the word dog.

Then I look down at the phone in my hand “No wifey I don’t have him”

I run out into the rain with nothing but my phone with a strange man who said he’s with another guy who pulled Ruben off the road.

Adrenaline is in full swing pretty quickly.

I stop, pivot back to my front door grab my hand bag.  I assume I must have some how locked the door and continue with the man.

To this day I don’t know his name. I can recall thinking that its a pretty dangerous thing to head off with two unknown men into the night but off I went anyway.

The second guy is pulled up on the side of the highway with Ruben in the passenger seat, he’s called the after hours vet hospital.

I get in. He drives. The other guy vanishes. I wish I had had the wear withal to get his name or something but I didn’t.

Ruben is shaking but responsive, I curl him up in my lap and hold him close to keep him warm from going further into shock.

He shakes. I shake. The guy puts the heater on full even though its January.

I went completely totally numb from head to toe. All I knew was that I needed to call Sarah so she knows where I am  and it took me damn ages to get my fingers to press the right buttons. I had trouble telling her the address of where we were going and I could hear her distress at my distress and the absolute heartbreak that I was terrified of losing the one final thing that would completely undo me.

I also knew that I was going to have to find a fuq load of money, really quickly from out of thin air.

Everyone with a pet who doesn’t have pet insurance stop reading this blog immediately and go and sort some out. Yes I mean actually, right now.

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At Aghadoe Heights in Killarney down the road from where we lived on the Ring of Kerry

The guy drops us off at the Vets and I thank him a million times. The vet nurses take Ruben and shortly Sarah and Dan turn up. I’m a mess Sarah isn’t much better. I truly can’t comprehend just how people with children cope in situations like this. This experience taught me a zillion things. The big one of course was empathy for others going through hard ship. Where you draw your strength from in situations like this is beyond me but you find it. Some how you have to deal with the practical needs of the situation and function. The emotional fall out will be dealt with later.  We’re told they need to observe him. They’ll call me in a few hours and let me know how things are looking. I fill out a what feels like a million pieces of paper. Sarah has to help me remember our address.

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After a long night to make sure he didn’t have internal bleeding, x-rays and all sorts I get a call in the middle of the night to say that he ‘only’ has a broken leg, right up the top of the femur near where the hip joint is. My little love is going to be ok! Decisions have to be made about what sort of surgery to do. How much to they try to do with his leg? Do I want to have a 3 legged dog? Big scary decisions that I didn’t want to make. I just wanted my dog back. In one piece. So I said yes to all of it. Yes to all the surgery the pins the whole kit and caboodle. Cause you know what, the minimum it was going to cost was 5 grand and that was with the ‘simple’ operation to have his leg cut off! Ugh! I’ve tried to type that sentence 4 times it just doesn’t sit well.

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I find the secret in case of emergency  empty credit card that’s in the bottom of the filing cabinet that I had meant to cancel as I never use it and I fill it ALL the way to the top. I feel absolutely sick at the thought of how on Earth (or more accurately when) I am going to pay it off, but you know what, you do what you have to do. I have my love back!

I can’t say I dug deep into some spiritual faith and trusted I honestly can’t. This was a really dark time for me because it felt absolutely like I had been betrayed in the highest order. I felt very much like I was being punished for crimes I didn’t recall committing. I struggled to find meaning behind it all. What was I meant to be learning… seriously lets get this one done so I can get to some good stuff some time soon! In times like this I think its really hard not to take it all personally. Perhaps there isn’t a reason. Perhaps there was no higher order with it all.

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It took Sarah and I 12 weeks of initial rehab with him in a crate as we tag teamed between work and home. Carrying him in and out for the toilet. I worked in the play pen with him to keep him still and quiet and we mopped and mopped and mopped up so much Ruben wee as he became more and more disgruntled about being cooped up!

We took very slow timed walks over the next few months from 5 mins per day per week all the way up to half hour beach walks on the leash.

I lost weight, I lost sleep, I thought my heart would break every time he squealed in pain. But this is us now!

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So my news this week people  is that in just under two years I have finished paying off Rubens credit card!  I am free to plan a holiday, buy appliances and occasionally actually purchase a pair of shoes that aren’t from Kmart! I have to say that I’m pretty damn overwhelmed with the prospect. There is going to be champagne and no doubt some tears! Theres also a bunch of people I really need to thank.

Thank you to Sarah who looked after us, and made tea and mopped tears and more wee than she should ever have to. Thanks to all my Sydney clients for your support I couldn’t have done it without you all. Thanks to my parents for buying me tyres, and to my friends for not tiring of hearing that I couldn’t do something because I was paying off Rubens Credit Card!!

I’m a stronger more resilient more financially competent women and I’ve been taught the true nature of unconditional love every day for last two years.  This is not something I am ever going to forget.

And to Ruben, your unconditional love over the last 5 years has kept me afloat, reminded me who I am, kept me fit and active and every day that I come home to you my belief in magic is reconfirmed. I love you.

x

K

Qi Follows the Yi – Part Two

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Ah Yes! The good ol’ a picture tells a 1000 words!

The 5 elements that I have been banging on about for practically ever work together in this 5 pointed star type arrangement. If you follow around the circle in a clockwise direction you get the nourishing cycle. This is how things work in harmony. You can simplify it if you put it into terms of what would happen in nature. For example we need water to nourish new plants (wood) so there can be growth and then in turn those trees feed fires… and on it goes around.
The star cycle that criss crosses shows us how things are kept in check. Keeping it simple as I can metal ‘controls’ wood….(metal chops down trees) makes a bit of sense right? It does get a little bit trickier when we bring the organs in, especially knowing how complex their functioning is from a western point of view, let alone Chinese Philosophy!
But keeping it simple… you know how I love to keep things simple, an example would be when we eat lots of cold forming foods, e.g. dairy and our digestion doesn’t process this effectively the Earth function of transforming our foods into fuel we can use diminishes. This affects his friend the Metal element (next in line) resulting in a build up of phlegm in the lungs, skin issues or constipation…….. kinda making sense Yes? Think children with allergies resulting in rashes.

So here we have a super fun chart of all the stuff that can go wrong when the energy is going in the opposite direction! In this picture we are looking at what happens when our negative thoughts and emotions start to get away with us!

Earlier on in this blog I talked about how our Qi (energy/ fuel) follows our Yi (thoughts/ concentration). This theory works in regards to all our mental / emotional experiences as wherever we are placing our focus and attention our energy will go. So when we experience an excess of any emotion this begins to tax the correlating organ and can set up, in long term situations, real physical pathology.

Now, I’m not one to want to bum out my readers so I’m going to turn this little chart into a silver lining. When we understand the very real interactions of these emotions and the physiological effects they are having on us we can begin to see and slowly master what we need to do in order to regulate these feelings that are not always super helpful.

I’m not saying here for a second the emotions are not an essential and necessary part of our biological vocabulary, but sometimes for a whole range of reasons real and imaginary we can get stuck in one or two of them, long after the correlating situation is long gone. Challenging situations in life can also be ongoing and without some way of managing our emotional responses these situations can and do often get on top of us.

My favourite example to explain this is by looking at the liver and the lungs.

The Liver is damaged by anger and frustration, or conversely an unhealthy liver ( one fed with chips, refined sugar and alcohol for e.g.) creates the emotional state of anger and frustration. Either way over a prolonged period of time this unhappy liver consumes more energy than can be created by its pal the kidneys and the water element and this sets up the right conditions for fear to become the predominate emotional state.

As a side note this also very simply explains how some recreational drugs damage the liver and set up the conditions required for paranoia and other fear based behaviours.

Anyway I digress…. Where do we look to balance and mediate this grumpy liver syndrome? Across the way to the lungs of course! The lungs positioned where they are above the diaphragm and above the liver on the right hand side are in the perfect spot to massage the Liver into a much better frame of mind. Slow deep breathing, gentle exercise or yoga is the ideal way to nourish this controlling cycle and re create balance in the five elements. Now I have to admit a grumpy person is not as likely to respond so well to …. darling do some downward dog…… but maybe a house rule of “walk off the grump” is a good idea?

The elements all work in their own way to regulate their counterpart;
The liver with its decisiveness and ability to create strong boundaries steps in when the the earth elements tendency to worry and obsess gets out of hand. The water element cools the fire of impatience with humility, this might be in the form of increased hydration or extra sleep, I mean, how hot headed are we when we’re over tired?
The stillness and meditative qualities of the spleen are helpful when managing an over worked water element. Remember this relates to will power and our adrenals. Each has its place and role in maintaing our overall emotional health, which in turn helps create our physical health and visa versa.

Keep this in mind next time you find yourself stuck in the rut of the same old emotional story running around our minds. Let the emotion move thorough you, and do what you can to support yourself.
(And feel free to let me know if any of this makes sense or if I need to do a little more explaining! )

Go Gently

K
x

Give me a ‘B’

 

 

Give me a B

Blogcademy Brisbane November 2013 


head mistresses

So, The Blogcademy, wow it feels like a year ago not a short few weeks. Thats Gala Kat + Shauna above doing their thing sharing their hard won knowledge and inspiration on day one.

Leaving the venue (which was deluxe by the way Bleeding Heart Gallery) I felt like I had been shot out of a spakley super charged cannon and into the future. The future where I was redrafting my bio and about me page, writing for the first time ever my blogging business plan, setting goals and timelines and spending afternoons on photo shoots for future blogs… oh yeah and holding down my day job and creating content… somewhere in there has been some sleep and the occasional meal.

Before you call me out, no, I’m not complaining. Its only now that I stop to write about the experience I can see just how much I have been inspired in the most practical put- it- into- action- straight- away kind of way .

And this of course is the kind of practical magic I love. Give me inspo please, give me sparkles and style but don’t leave me hanging with a big question hanging over the how.. and I wasn’t disappointed here AT ALL

 

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That’d be me… with ears … its just how we roll.

Two whole days in a bloggers paradise. Where do I start?  Firstly I’ll start with how I felt because I felt so damn excited and not just in a ‘what will I learn’ kind of way. That of course was part of it but I felt excited in a way that hinted at a reinvention of myself like I’d been handed a big fat permission slip to be ALL of me, even the bits that I hadn’t quite worked out yet. Like the blogger bit of me, Yes?

People are shocked sometimes to hear that I’m an introvert and I associated quite strongly with that title. In amongst my closest friends I can be quite dramatic! So it was with a degree of nervousness that I turned up on the first day.  One of best things about  the ears.. beside the fact that they’re just amazing is that they instantly break the ice, you can be wild and fun and tap into that part of yourself that just really wants to GO THERE. And go there we did.

 

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My camera phone never left my hand! 

I could write for a month on things that I learnt and relearnt over the course of the two days but heres 2 short lists.

Things that I have been working feverishly on since Blodcademy

1.Writing writing writing!! I have 3 or 4 note books scattered around the apartment filled with hand written articles and inspo.

2.Getting up close and personal with my Bio and being real brave about sharing who I am and what I really really want to offer.

3.Tidiying up the visual noise, stream lining images and colours and design . This is the tricky stuff for me so I’ve had to learn to be kinda patient and ask for help .. its a process people!

 

 Things that have really rocked my world and will rock yours should you go in 2014 (and you should)

  1. Blogging is a business. Show up to work like you would any other job you want to be successful at.
  2. Hone your voice, get clear on your message and the people your speaking to and be unapologetically true to that voice.
  3. Have a Brand Audit – this is your visual voice. Get it clear.
  4. Nourish your muse, read outside your genre and make space regularly and with discipline and she will show up.
  5. Being generous giving value, adding joy and love to your readers life is the best marketing you can do.
  6. Invest in yourself!
  7. Sart before your ready and when you know better do better .

 

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Thanks to the Headmistresses I fell in love with the potential of who I can be, of who I am when I let down the saftety nets and think BIG and risk looking stupid on the off chance that actually I’ll just shine. (or look tired with a cupcake at the end of one epic weekend!)

These three women gave us a way of tapping into our super powers and rethinking that version of ourselves that we know all too well. We were given permission to shine, permission to stand out and have our say, we were given permission to wear sparkley ears through the mall in broad day light. To order sushi and juice and not bat an eye lid.  Just because.

 


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I want to marry all of you and live in a big sparkly pink house with all out pets…. well it would be fun for a week every year no? 

 

x

All photos except the tired cupcake courtesy of the wonderful Janneke Storm! www.jannekestorm.com