This is Keri from 2008, she had just created Rockupuncture and it was about to create a whole new life for her, but first it was going to burn everything to the ground. Dramatic but true.
Around the middle of last year I acknowledged a feeling that I had been having for quite a while;
That my Sydney Rockupuncture roadshow’s were on the way out. I don’t have to wait for something to be flunking, to be unenjoyable or to be a grind to know that it’s time to go.
It’s ok to part on friendly terms.
AND as you might know by now, I’m a pretty intuitive woman and I just had the FEELS.
It was time.
So I did what any self respecting sensible intelligent person would do, and ignored all of this completely!
This is because I have such a great amount of emotion and gratitude attached to Sydney and my time with my clients over the last 9 years.
I first flew down to treat at Sydney Essential Health at the end of 2009. A guest from Lifestyle Health Retreat, Gwinganna who was an acupuncturist at SEH said before she left the retreat, “you should come to Sydney” and then another guest asked me when I was coming down so she could book in and then all of a sudden I was in Sydney working!
It was that fast and that simple.
I learnt on the run, created a mailing list, trademarked my modality name, and I was off!
I can not truly tell you, just how grateful I am to all my clients for letting me into their lives and trusting me with their health and hearts. What I might not ever have let on in my desire to be professional is just how big a cross roads all this was for me.
I was newly divorced, and newly creating my own business. It was epic to say the least.
I was literally reinventing myself and Sydney played a very big part in that.
The other people that I need to thank (while this is turning into an oscars speech!) is Carol and Neville, my Sydney ‘parents’ that once upon a time were ‘just clients’ .
I don’t have the space here to go into just how much their generosity and love has transformed my world and made my practice in Sydney possible.
I turned up on their doorstep, declared myself their long lost eldest daughter and spent 6 weekends a year in their spare room!
It blows my mind that this modality landed in my heart and hands and it went on to pay the rent, the pet insurance, took me to New York, Chiva Som in Thailand and introduced me to almost all the magical people that are in my life today.
I know some of you reading this are going through your own reinvention and it can feel terrifying to wonder just how it’s all going to work out. It will I promise.
Maybe not in the way you think it will, but it will.
So I’ll get to the crunch shall I? The feeling that I was avoiding continued to get bigger, and I couldn’t avoid it any longer. So I employed a technique that I hope you might be able to use in your life too;
I wrote to ‘Rockupuncture’ as if she was an entity (which she kind of is)
Now if this sounds a little weird hang in there. It’s a really helpful psychological tool to let a different element of yourself or a usually inanimate situation express their purpose to you.
And here is some of what she said….. “ It’s been an honour to serve you and care for and provide for you. I need a break now and so do you. Let your starlight guide you. Let your wild heart out of her tethers now it’s safe. I’m no longer the right container for what you’re offering. It’s natural to cling to what we know and while you are truly out in deep waters now, look down and you might see you’ve grown fins since you last looked.” I can’t deny any of that. It feels so true, (if a little cryptic!)
Nature abhors a vacuum and while I would dearly love to know all the answers ahead of time I have to trust that whatever is coming next needs the space I am creating, whilst sending Rockupuncture off with immense gratitude.
I didn’t realise just how emotional I would feel making this announcement. It’s a creative chapter of my life that’s coming to an end, but I am already wondering what I will create that will take me back to Sydney more often.. or perhaps to Melbourne to those neglected folk who have still been asking me when I’m coming back.
And know that if you have a situation in your life that is in transition and you’re wondering what it might say if it could speak that this tool will work for you too.
Let me know how it goes
She stared back at me from my past and I remember the exact day a few years ago now that I got it.
A really deep and embodied understanding that Self Care wasn’t just about doing all the lovely more superficial things that I had been doing. It was those things too for sure.
But there was more.
It was great that I took care of my health, and that I ate green food, and walked on the beach and did yoga and occasionally went and had a pedicure. But on this day as I sat there writing I realised that what I hadn’t been doing was choosing myself. That I had been hoping subconsciously that somehow, magically someone ELSE was going to come along with a magic wand and give me the power to do the things in my life that I was hoping to do, be and experience.
I wasn’t living from the inside out.
But handing it all over to someone, anyone (everyone) out there. And it was making lots of things really difficult. How on Earth was I hoping to have success in my work when I was hoping that someone outside of myself needed to like it first? How was I going to find myself in a healthy romantic relationship if I didn’t have my own back first?
I had been prioritising the needs of those I loved to the point that my self care up had been very superficial almost tokenistic.
I recall sitting there that afternoon in my very sunny apartment, looking around like it was all brand new and knowing that from that moment on I would choose me first.
I would back myself wholeheartedly and that the things I wanted to experience more in my life would be prioritised.
I mean it sounds so obvious.
If I wanted something I was working on to be a success I would define that success and then wholehearted go after it. If I was tired and needed time to myself to support my health I would take it.
This embodied decision completely renegotiated my whole life. And put me at the centre of it.
That moment in time completely transformed every relationship I had. (not all of them survived) And it opened up a world of possibilities.
But even as I write this, I can hear it, that voice, you might have heard it go through your head just now too? Because that’s what articles like this trigger off in people like us.
Recovering people pleasers.
Did you hear it? The “But what about them?” But what about what they will think or do if I put myself first.
That’s the definition of selfish isn’t it?
No it’s not.
It’s the definition of Boundaried.
Of knowing what you need, of what you value, of what is of primary importance for you right now.
Of the help you might need to ask for or organise. It will look different for each and every one of us. But the results will be the same. Deep and abiding self respect Energy, Grace and resilience to navigate your life.
This is NOT a boundary that is a barrier keeping everyone out. This isn’t that same wall that keeps a broken heart locked up or a wounded soul in safe isolation.
This is about keeping what you need IN and about elegant choices of where your energy goes based in your values, needs and daily circumstances. It’s about your wild heart knowing it has free reign because she knows her edges are respected. It’s about all this and so much more.
The woman I was and the woman I am now are pretty dang excited t share with you that Boundaried is open for pre-sale.
Two weeks of 20% off then that discount will continue for subscribers till we kick off on the 13th of June.
I would love to hear from you. Subscribe, check out Boundaried HERE and message me with any questions you have.
Late last year I was thrilled to be asked to share my story on Nicole Mathieson’s Unbreakable podcast.
Nicole is a kinesiologist and confidence coach who guides her clients back to their heart so they can build a life of deep fulfilment and contentment.
We delved into how I got where I am today, from that first inkling that something wasn’t right to the upheaval and exploration that led me here.
You can listen to our chat here.