7 key practices to survive a holiday with your family as an adult (and an introvert!)

survive a holiday with your family

How to go on holiday with your family as an adult and survive!

It wasn’t the reason I created Boundaried  but it should come as no surprise that the course content has come in very handy over the last couple of weeks as I traveled through South Africa with my family for the first time in many years and certainly as the first time as an adult!

My sister, Dad, Step-mum and younger brother have been bunking in together for my younger sisters wedding in Franshoek near Cape Town South Africa. My sister and I are 44 and 42 my brother is only 22.

It’s been 35 years since my sister and I have lived together and even longer since I spent any length of time living with my parents. I did wonder how we would get on with all the differences in personality, energy and food requirements.

What I realised is that the practices in Boundaried have served as a great reminder to me on how to travel well, and avoid the kind of conflict that can happen when personalities, over tiredness and the odd dose of hangry mix.

And this doesn’t of course have to be reserved to travelling with family.

I’ve taken few of the modules out of Boundaried and unpacked them in a real life on the road kind of way.

My sister and I only had a couple of spats, which if you asked my sister she would say that they didn’t happen at all 🙂

So I think this could be helpful if you find yourself traveling in a pack, and need to know you won’t lose your mind. Especially if you’re an introverted or HSP human.

 

How to travel with your family

Aren’t We Cute!

Take up space

Find a cafe, the back garden, the kitchen table with your headphone on. There will be a space somewhere where you can do your thing, have a breather and connect with your values and nourish your needs even if its for half an hour. eg I got up earlier than everyone else and had solo breakfast time or zipped out to a cafe. 

Keep this in mind if you are hiring cars. It might seem prudent to minimise drivers based on a financial need but if you know you will go crazy not being able to zip down the road on your timeline then it’s worth the investment. 

This applies also to rooms and privacy if you’re travelling with small children or you and your spouse are hoping for romantic interludes then you might want to splurge on separate accomodation based on your timelines.

 

 

 

Tahlee from Sonessence Music replied to this insta post  asking how other introverts take care of themselves while travelling in groups.

I love noise cancelling headphones and her meditones are magic at helping you find your centre again.

 

Know your values and communicate them early on. 

Your values might pertain to type of food, hours of sleep, time to exercise, the kinds of site seeing you enjoy. You don’t have to all be glued at the hip. If two want to see the aquarium then you can go you can go shopping and your sister might amble around an art gallery before meeting up for a fabulous dinner at a pre-arranged time and place. 

Your dad probably isn’t going to go to that Vegan restaurant but he might be persuaded to try coconut ice-cream on a hot day. Pick your battles. 

Heal your heart.

Bringing the argument of 2001 to the table in 2019 might not be the best plan. Especially if the person in front of you now isn’t the person you were arguing with back then. They have evolved (if they have) and so have you. Be here now give yourself the love care and respect that you need and move on and enjoy what is right in front of you. 

Rituals + Routines. 

Most of us are a bit lost when separated from our routines for too long, especially if we find ourselves being dragged around a foreign city with someone else routines as a focus. 

What rituals and routines would you like to establish on your holiday?

What would help?

Simple things like an early morning shower, a coffee in the park, an afternoon siesta before the nights adventures.

If you’ve travelled before you might have some already established but now is the next best time to create some. I am a very big fan of the spacious morning cuppa. I love a walk in a park to clear my head and get the feel of a big city. This worked a treat last year in London

You are at the heroine of your own story. 

Sit down with your journal and write down in past tense how the holiday went as if it’s a grand story with you in the lead role. Where did you go? What was most important? Is this a surprise to you?

What did you love the most and what creative and supporting roles did the rest of your family play on your trip?  How did you co-create a fabulous experience? Let the pen roll, the answers might surprise you. 

Discernment 

Discernment means to judge well. This might look like putting your foot down when you get that funny feeling about a particular taxi driver, location or bill. 

Depending on how well travelled the rest of your group are this might actually be your job to hold space for. 

I remember when I was travelling in South America in my early 20’s. We pulled up after an over night bus trip to Santiago very tired after climbing a volcano the previous day. 

The taxi driver spotted our exhaustion from a mile away, had our stuff in the car before a second man jumped in the passenger seat. I had sensed something was off but I wasn’t yet familiar with that feeling. It was too late when they pulled a knife on us. All is well that ends well but never doubt that feeling. 

 

Learning to Self Soothe.

Someone (or everyone ) is going to piss you off at some point. There is every chance that no-one else in the group will be interested in taking responsibility for their emotional over flow (or that’s how it can seem) The best way to enjoy your time and not re start the feud of 2001 is to learn what you need to self soothe. 

Now I have to admit that I was REALLY nervous about this trip. I am a solo traveller from way back and with this trip I had literally done nothing in the planning. Flights, dates, times, accomodation all of it, had been pre-arranged.

Now while I am also very grateful for this experience, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was a tad nervous. 

So what is it that you need? For me as an introvert I need a little space and a little quiet. Doesn’t even need to be much but I need to know that I can go for a walk, sit in a coffee shop for an hour, read with my headphones in listening to music. Most of these things are readily available, especially as I’ve communicated this to my family.

I also made sure that I knew my needs for the trip. What did I really want to see/ explore /do /experience while I was away, so that if other plans went by the way side or a day got sidetracked I was able to focus in on the primary and essential experiences and not sweat it. 

(I even got in a little writing time!) 

And finally

Play

Funny isn’t it that we need to be reminded as adults to play. Brining humour and creative play to any situation is going to open up more options, diffuse tension and remind you about why you’re on holiday in the first place!

 

 

 

 

All these practices and topics are explored at greater length across 21 days of audios and a tool box full of practices, meditations and handy PDF’s.

Head here to find out more AND (just to thank you for popping in and reading) you can use the code OnTheRoad to enjoy the 20% subscriber discount.

 

 

 

How to know when it’s time to let go of your work.

Rockupuncture, Acupuncture, Sydney Essential Health, Keri Krieger,

This is Keri from 2008, she had just created Rockupuncture and it was about to create a whole new life for her, but first it was going to burn everything to the ground. Dramatic but true.

 

Around the middle of last year I acknowledged a feeling that I had been having for quite a while;

That my Sydney Rockupuncture roadshow’s were on the way out. I don’t have to wait for something to be flunking, to be unenjoyable or to be a grind to know that it’s time to go.

It’s ok to part on friendly terms.

AND as you might know by now, I’m a pretty intuitive woman and I just had the FEELS.

It was time.

So I did what any self respecting sensible intelligent person would do, and ignored all of this completely!

This is because I have such a great amount of emotion and gratitude attached to Sydney and my time with my clients over the last 9 years.

NINE. YEARS!

I first flew down to treat at Sydney Essential Health at the end of 2009. A guest from Lifestyle Health Retreat, Gwinganna who was an acupuncturist at SEH said before she left the retreat, “you should come to Sydney” and then another guest asked me when I was coming down so she could book in and then all of a sudden I was in Sydney working!

It was that fast and that simple.

I learnt on the run, created a mailing list, trademarked my modality name, and I was off!

I can not truly tell you, just how grateful I am to all my clients for letting me into their lives and trusting me with their health and hearts. What I might not ever have let on in my desire to be professional is just how big a cross roads all this was for me.

I was newly divorced, and newly creating my own business. It was epic to say the least.

I was literally reinventing myself and Sydney played a very big part in that.

The other people that I need to thank (while this is turning into an oscars speech!) is Carol and Neville, my Sydney ‘parents’ that once upon a time were ‘just clients’ .

I don’t have the space here to go into just how much their generosity and love has transformed my world and made my practice in Sydney possible.

I turned up on their doorstep, declared myself their long lost eldest daughter and spent 6 weekends a year in their spare room!

It blows my mind that this modality landed in my heart and hands and it went on to pay the rent, the pet insurance, took me to New York, Chiva Som in Thailand and introduced me to almost all the magical people that are in my life today.

I know some of you reading this are going through your own reinvention and it can feel terrifying to wonder just how it’s all going to work out. It will I promise.

Maybe not in the way you think it will, but it will.

So I’ll get to the crunch shall I? The feeling that I was avoiding continued to get bigger, and I couldn’t avoid it any longer. So I employed a technique that I hope you might be able to use in your life too;

I wrote to ‘Rockupuncture’ as if she was an entity (which she kind of is)

Now if this sounds a little weird hang in there. It’s a really helpful psychological tool to let a different element of yourself or a usually inanimate situation express their purpose to you.

And here is some of what she said….. “ It’s been an honour to serve you and care for and provide for you. I need a break now and so do you. Let your starlight guide you. Let your wild heart out of her tethers now it’s safe. I’m no longer the right container for what you’re offering. It’s natural to cling to what we know and while you are truly out in deep waters now, look down and you might see you’ve grown fins since you last looked.” I can’t deny any of that. It feels so true, (if a little cryptic!)

Nature abhors a vacuum and while I would dearly love to know all the answers ahead of time I have to trust that whatever is coming next needs the space I am creating, whilst sending Rockupuncture off with immense gratitude.

I didn’t realise just how emotional I would feel making this announcement. It’s a creative chapter of my life that’s coming to an end, but I am already wondering what I will create that will take me back to Sydney more often.. or perhaps to Melbourne to those neglected folk who have still been asking me when I’m coming back.

Stay tuned.

 

And know that if you have a situation in your life that is in transition and you’re wondering what it might say if it could speak that this tool will work for you too.

Let me know how it goes

 

 

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Boundaried – 21 days of Practical Magic + Personal Devotion

boundaried, e-course, keri krieger, women's health coach

She stared back at me from my past and I remember the exact day a few years ago now that I got it.

A really deep and embodied understanding that Self Care wasn’t just about doing all the lovely more superficial things that I had been doing. It was those things too for sure.

But there was more.

It was great that I took care of my health, and that I ate green food, and walked on the beach and did yoga and occasionally went and had a pedicure. But on this day as I sat there writing I realised that what I hadn’t been doing was choosing myself. That I had been hoping subconsciously that somehow, magically someone ELSE was going to come along with a magic wand and give me the power to do the things in my life that I was hoping to do, be and experience.

I wasn’t living from the inside out.

But handing it all over to someone, anyone (everyone) out there. And it was making lots of things really difficult. How on Earth was I hoping to have success in my work when I was hoping that someone outside of myself needed to like it first? How was I going to find myself in a healthy romantic relationship if I didn’t have my own back first?

I had been prioritising the needs of those I loved to the point that my self care up had been very superficial almost tokenistic.

I recall sitting there that afternoon in my very sunny apartment, looking around like it was all brand new and knowing that from that moment on I would choose me first.

I would back myself wholeheartedly and that the things I wanted to experience more in my life would be prioritised.

I mean it sounds so obvious.

If I wanted something I was working on to be a success I would define that success and then wholehearted go after it. If I was tired and needed time to myself to support my health I would take it.

This embodied decision completely renegotiated my whole life. And put me at the centre of it.

That moment in time completely transformed every relationship I had. (not all of them survived) And it opened up a world of possibilities.

But even as I write this, I can hear it, that voice, you might have heard it go through your head just now too? Because that’s what articles like this trigger off in people like us.

Recovering people pleasers.

Did you hear it? The “But what about them?” But what about what they will think or do if I put myself first.

That’s the definition of selfish isn’t it?

No it’s not.

It’s the definition of Boundaried.

Of knowing what you need, of what you value, of what is of primary importance for you right now.

Of the help you might need to ask for or organise. It will look different for each and every one of us. But the results will be the same. Deep and abiding self respect Energy, Grace and resilience to navigate your life.

This is NOT a boundary that is a barrier keeping everyone out. This isn’t that same wall that keeps a broken heart locked up or a wounded soul in safe isolation.

This is about keeping what you need IN and about elegant choices of where your energy goes based in your values, needs and daily circumstances. It’s about your wild heart knowing it has free reign because she knows her edges are respected. It’s about all this and so much more.

 

The woman I was and the woman I am now are pretty dang excited t share with you that Boundaried is open for  pre-sale.

Two weeks of 20% off then that discount will continue for subscribers till we kick off on the 13th of June.

I would love to hear from you. Subscribe, check out Boundaried HERE and message me with any questions you have.

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